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View Full Version : I just glimpsed a man trying to "mount" a wall urinal


KingMob
09-11-2007, 11:46 AM
I walked into the bathroom because I had to pee. As I'm walking by the line of urinals I glimpsed a guy who was basically trying to become one with the lower wall urinal. His left hand was on his hip in a captain morgan pose as he stared up into the upper left part of the ceiling as if he was hypnotized. Every few split seconds he would grunt and shift himself forward as if he was bathing himself in the water or something. I swear if he was any closer to the urinal his feet would be about 4" off the ground and his flabby legs would probably be in a constant running motion as he was trying to work out whatever it is he was doing.

I really need to find a new bathroom.
YouStayClassy
09-11-2007, 11:47 AM
I would have tapped my right foot three times.
Shane W
09-11-2007, 11:48 AM
Lies.
Cth
09-11-2007, 11:50 AM
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/228/458628505_6dbeb637a5.jpg

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/93/236934837_496d289e8b.jpg

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/71/200834070_94d33761de.jpg

?
Matt Jay
09-11-2007, 11:50 AM
Some Guy Just Stared at Me While I Mounted the Wall Urinal
KingMob
09-11-2007, 11:53 AM
Lies.

good game yesterday btw.
Buk Was Right
09-11-2007, 11:56 AM
http://users.commspeed.net/guzzi/images/Hardly%20Boys.jpg

Oooooh... I've got such a clue right now...
copypastepuke
09-11-2007, 11:58 AM
its better than when the dude stands five feet away from teh urinal with his pants around his ankles
KingMob
09-11-2007, 12:00 PM
its better than when the dude stands five feet away from teh urinal with his pants around his ankles

and you know him so you are like "hey man"

and he is like

"hey!" and turns around to talk to you while still peeing and pisses all over your legs.
Shane W
09-11-2007, 12:04 PM
good game yesterday btw.

Well, it is pretty much our AAA team.. And now Duncan is out for the year.
KingMob
09-11-2007, 12:05 PM
Well, it is pretty much our AAA team.. And now Duncan is out for the year.

the memphis redbirds, I saw them 3 times this year.
dasNdanger
09-11-2007, 12:29 PM
Maybe he had a itch... :scared:


das
KingMob
09-11-2007, 12:33 PM
Maybe he had a itch... :scared:


das

I think it was because his junk was tiny and he didnt want to pee on himself. The fact that he couldnt see his stuff over his fat belly probably had something to do with this.
Shane W
09-11-2007, 12:34 PM
I think it was because his junk was tiny and he didnt want to pee on himself. The fact that he couldnt see his stuff over his fat belly probably had something to do with this.

You got a really good look then, didn't you?
Joshzilla
09-11-2007, 12:36 PM
Maybe he was really warm. You know how it is when you're really warm...your balls get all saggy and shit. Well, maybe that happened and he accidentally got a ball stuck in one of the drain holes. Maybe he desperately needed you to get him help to get his poor lil nut loose because it was lost like a kid down a well and all you can do is mock the poor son of a bitch.

I'd do the same.
copypastepuke
09-11-2007, 12:37 PM
and you know him so you are like "hey man"

and he is like

"hey!" and turns around to talk to you while still peeing and pisses all over your legs.
and you get turned on and open your mouth and drink from it like it is from a the hose and it reminds you of being a kid again and then.... wait...:scared: this is just me isnt it?
KingMob
09-11-2007, 12:38 PM
You got a really good look then, didn't you?

not really, but I have been trying to work out in my mind what would possess someone to do that and this is the best answer I can come up with.
Shane W
09-11-2007, 12:39 PM
not really, but I have been trying to work out in my mind what would possess someone to do that and this is the best answer I can come up with.

Maybe he was from a land that didn't have urinals.. Or maybe he was French and confused.
TIP
09-11-2007, 12:40 PM
That's right, fellows...a urinal will double as a Dong Bidet if you don't mind getting REALLY into it.
Shane W
09-11-2007, 12:41 PM
That's right, fellows...a urinal will double as a Dong Bidet if you don't mind getting REALLY into it.

This water is cold, and deep too.. Um hmmm. French fried taters are good.
Jim T.
09-11-2007, 12:42 PM
Some Guy Just Stared at Me While I Mounted the Wall Urinal

:lol:
TIP
09-11-2007, 12:44 PM
Dong Bidet

Ask for it by name.

T
(not to be mistaken for Jon-Benet Ramsey)
KingMob
09-11-2007, 12:50 PM
Dong Bidet

Ask for it by name.

T
(not to be mistaken for Jon-Benet Ramsey)

I need to pitch the idea of a dong bidet to just some random stranger some day....

or maybe I'll just throw it into a conversation in not really interested in.
Joshzilla
09-11-2007, 12:51 PM
I need to pitch the idea of a dong bidet to just some random stranger some day....

or maybe I'll just throw it into a conversation in not really interested in.

If anyone ever asks you for directions, incorporate the dong bidet.
TIP
09-11-2007, 12:51 PM
I need to pitch the idea of a dong bidet to just some random stranger some day....

or maybe I'll just throw it into a conversation in not really interested in.

Afterwards you could start a thread asking us, your fellow B-Boarders, if we ever get asked about our Dong Bidets.

T
TIP
09-11-2007, 12:52 PM
If anyone ever asks you for directions, incorporate the dong bidet.

"You take a piss...er...you take a LEFT at the Dong Bidet and keep going until you hear the sploogey wails of the ocelot yelplings."

T
KingMob
09-11-2007, 12:52 PM
If anyone ever asks you for directions, incorporate the dong bidet.

:lol:

take a left at the dong bidet you son of a bitch!
dasNdanger
09-11-2007, 01:00 PM
I think it was because his junk was tiny and he didnt want to pee on himself. The fact that he couldnt see his stuff over his fat belly probably had something to do with this.


OH!!!!!! You didn't explain that!! Poor guy, he had dickie-do syndrome!!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v54/dasNdanger/dickiedo.jpg



das
niceguyeddie
09-11-2007, 03:18 PM
I walked into the bathroom because I had to pee. As I'm walking by the line of urinals I glimpsed a guy who was basically trying to become one with the lower wall urinal. His left hand was on his hip in a captain morgan pose as he stared up into the upper left part of the ceiling as if he was hypnotized. Every few split seconds he would grunt and shift himself forward as if he was bathing himself in the water or something. I swear if he was any closer to the urinal his feet would be about 4" off the ground and his flabby legs would probably be in a constant running motion as he was trying to work out whatever it is he was doing.

I really need to find a new bathroom.

why didn't you give him a boost??