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BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 04:45 PM
If you cringe at girly stuff, I put it under "hide" so you can just read the question.



My boyfriend and I have been having a LOT of issues lately. And our relationship is just about over. He's not there for me financially or emotionally.

It kinda all accumulated when I went in for a routine pap.

There is a high chance I have cervical cancer. I tested positive for HPV. And I'm a high risk patient. Apparently 50% of sexually active people have HPV and 80% of them are women. I have a strand that can cause cancer. HPV is responsible for 70% of cervical cancer cases. I just had my biopsy today and am awaiting my results. (Jesus did that hurt) Doctor says there is an area of weak cells that looks really bad.

I didn't even know what HPV was until about two years ago.

Men do not get yearly check ups like woman, so they don't know if they are carrying it, as most strands of HPV do not show signs.



My question is this:

Could you live with someone who gave you cancer?

NickT
09-06-2007, 04:47 PM
Honestly? I don't think I could say until it happened.




That really sucks, sorry to hear it.

Ryudo
09-06-2007, 04:48 PM
I agree with Nick, but that is some heavy shit. I'm sorry, Jessie.

John Drake
09-06-2007, 04:48 PM
Damn.

Probably, yeah. I can't honestly answer that because I'm not going through it, but I think I would be able to.

But Jessie, I hope everything turns out fine for you. Fingers crossed here.

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 04:48 PM
I guess there's kind of a point where you have to realize that this person is ruining your life. And in some cases, pretty badly. :/

Joe Kalicki
09-06-2007, 04:49 PM
My last girlfriend had cervical cancer, but I was never told I could get it from her. . .

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 04:49 PM
I'm sorry, Jessie.

Thank you, hunny.



But Jessie, I hope everything turns out fine for you. Fingers crossed here.

I'm hoping to. Really don't need this... ever.

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 04:50 PM
My last girlfriend had cervical cancer, but I was never told I could get it from her. . .

Better go get your cervix tested.

c. page
09-06-2007, 04:50 PM
jesus. that sucks.

honestly? it depends on the relationship. if, like you said, the other person wasn't there for you emotionally or financially, then i'd probably walk.

if, however, it was a solid relationship, i might be willing to stay with them.

sorry, jess.

sending good thoughts your way.

YouStayClassy
09-06-2007, 04:50 PM
It's really sad there isn't more of a national awareness for HPV.

Joe Kalicki
09-06-2007, 04:52 PM
Better go get your cervix tested.

Yeah, really. . .

But seriously, I haven't had any sort of check-up in quite some time.

Thommy Melanson
09-06-2007, 04:52 PM
If you cringe at girly stuff, I put it under "hide" so you can just read the question.



My boyfriend and I have been having a LOT of issues lately. And our relationship is just about over. He's not there for me financially or emotionally.

It kinda all accumulated when I went in for a routine pap.

There is a high chance I have cervical cancer. I tested positive for HPV. And I'm a high risk patient. Apparently 50% of sexually active people have HPV and 80% of them are women. I have a strand that can cause cancer. HPV is responsible for 70% of cervical cancer cases. I just had my biopsy today and am awaiting my results. (Jesus did that hurt) Doctor says there is an area of weak cells that looks really bad.

I didn't even know what HPV was until about two years ago.

Men do not get yearly check ups like woman, so they don't know if they are carrying it, as most strands of HPV do not show signs.



My question is this:

Could you live with someone who gave you cancer?

If your relationship is over emotionally, then you've already answered your own question.

Since you just found out about this, I'm assuming that you two have other problems that have worn away the relationship.

Are you angry at him because you think he gave you HPV, or do you think he'll leave if you tell him you have it and/or one of you gave it to the other?

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 04:52 PM
jesus. that sucks.

honestly? it depends on the relationship. if, like you said, the other person wasn't there for you emotionally or financially, then i'd probably walk.

if, however, it was a solid relationship, i might be willing to stay with them.

sorry, jess.

sending good thoughts your way.

In the end, I think you are right. Need to get my kicking boot.


It's really sad there isn't more of a national awareness for HPV.

I completely agree. Funny thing is, I was going in to get Gardisil. Even if my test come back negative, I have to go back every three months until my body fights off the virus.

Brian Defferding
09-06-2007, 04:52 PM
HPV is sexually transmitted, right? So he's been tippin' round on you? If so, then of course I would end the relationship, ASAP.

And I am really, really sorry to hear about this.

thatguyfromsyracuse
09-06-2007, 04:53 PM
I'm really sorry to hear that. Can you really contract it from somebody though? Or am I just reading that wrong? I am totally ignorant about this.:Oops:

LilPoe
09-06-2007, 04:53 PM
honestly? it depends on the relationship. if, like you said, the other person wasn't there for you emotionally or financially, then i'd probably walk.

if, however, it was a solid relationship, i might be willing to stay with them.


Exactly how I feel. I'm sorry, Jessie.

c. page
09-06-2007, 04:54 PM
HPV is sexually transmitted, right? So he's been tippin' round on you? If so, then of course I would end the relationship, ASAP.

he also may have gotten it before their relationship and just not been aware of it.

copypastepuke
09-06-2007, 04:54 PM
thats one of those things where you have to really question yourself. i woudlnt know how i would react, but my instinct would be to try and convince myself that that person didnt knowingly try to inflict me with anything.... but there is that part of me that would of course want to assess blame, and well, i have no idea which side of the fence i would land on.

here's hoping everything will work out for the best.

YouStayClassy
09-06-2007, 04:54 PM
In the end, I think you are right. Need to get my kicking boot.



I completely agree. Funny thing is, I was going in to get Gardisil. Even if my test come back negative, I have to go back every three months until my body fights off the virus.

I have a couple of friends that have contracted it, but so far there's been no serious developments fortunatelly.

When my first friend told me about it, I nearly broke my neck racing to the doctor to get tested. It's weird with all the sex ed we got in school, and all the other sexual advice available and HPV is NEVER mentioned.

Brian Defferding
09-06-2007, 04:54 PM
he also may have gotten it before their relationship and just not been aware of it.

Ah...true, I never thought of that.

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 04:55 PM
If your relationship is over emotionally, then you've already answered your own question.

Since you just found out about this, I'm assuming that you two have other problems that have worn away the relationship.

Are you angry at him because you think he gave you HPV, or do you think he'll leave if you tell him you have it and/or one of you gave it to the other?

I'm not really angry at him for giving me HPV. There's no way he could have known. It's kinda.. I don't know. How do you look someone in the face everyday who gave you cancer?


HPV is sexually transmitted, right? So he's been tippin' round on you? If so, then of course I would end the relationship, ASAP.

And I am really, really sorry to hear about this.

No. Males carry it with no symptoms. But hey, who knows. He does spend his entire day at home.


I'm really sorry to hear that. Can you really contract it from somebody though? Or am I just reading that wrong?

Yeah. You can. Males don't get any symptoms and don't go in to get tested.

YouStayClassy
09-06-2007, 04:56 PM
I'm really sorry to hear that. Can you really contract it from somebody though? Or am I just reading that wrong? I am totally ignorant about this.:Oops:


Papillomaviruses are a diverse group of DNA-based viruses that infect the skin and mucous membranes of humans and a variety of animals. Over 100 different human papillomavirus (HPV) types have been characterized. Some HPV types cause benign skin warts, or papillomas, for which the virus family is named. HPVs associated with the development of such "common warts" are transmitted environmentally or by casual skin-to-skin contact.

A group of about 30-40 HPVs are typically transmitted through sexual contact and infect the anogenital region. Some sexually transmitted HPVs, such as types 6 and 11, can cause genital warts. However, most HPV types that infect the genitals tend not to cause noticeable symptoms.

.

c. page
09-06-2007, 04:56 PM
I have a couple of friends that have contracted it, but so far there's been no serious developments fortunatelly.

When my first friend told me about it, I nearly broke my neck racing to the doctor to get tested. It's weird with all the sex ed we got in school, and all the other sexual advice available and HPV is NEVER mentioned.

that is really disturbing.

if nothing else, it's good reinforcement for guys to go out and get STD tests regularly. (before losing insurance, i used to go every 6 months. looking at cheaper options at the moment)

Thommy Melanson
09-06-2007, 04:56 PM
I have a couple of friends that have contracted it, but so far there's been no serious developments fortunatelly.

When my first friend told me about it, I nearly broke my neck racing to the doctor to get tested. It's weird with all the sex ed we got in school, and all the other sexual advice available and HPV is NEVER mentioned.

I'm pretty sure there's almost zero symptoms in men, so most of us probably have it right now and walk around with it our whole lives and never know.

As we've gathered here, for women its a completely different story.

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 04:57 PM
here's hoping everything will work out for the best.

Thank you hunny.


I have a couple of friends that have contracted it, but so far there's been no serious developments fortunatelly.

When my first friend told me about it, I nearly broke my neck racing to the doctor to get tested. It's weird with all the sex ed we got in school, and all the other sexual advice available and HPV is NEVER mentioned.

Yeah. Especially since you can get it even by using condoms. I was floored when it came back that I had it. I didn't really think anything about it until they told me I had to come in for a biopsy.

c. page
09-06-2007, 04:58 PM
I'm not really angry at him for giving me HPV. There's no way he could have known. It's kinda.. I don't know. How do you look someone in the face everyday who gave you cancer?

hate to harp on the point, but it's easier in a good relationship. this sounds like a "straw that broke the camel's back" kinda deal to me.

all around shitty situation, jessie. here's hoping you have some good news coming up.

YouStayClassy
09-06-2007, 04:59 PM
Thank you hunny.



Yeah. Especially since you can get it even by using condoms. I was floored when it came back that I had it. I didn't really think anything about it until they told me I had to come in for a biopsy.

That is unreal. I'm doing some further reading:


Although condoms are highly effective for preventing the transmission of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), recent studies have concluded that condoms only offer partial protection, at best, against the transmission of genital HPVs.[37][38]

This may be due to the fact that HPVs can infect genital skin areas that are not covered by condoms. On the other hand, some studies have suggested that regular condom use can effectively limit the ongoing persistence and spread of HPV to additional genital sites in individuals who are already infected.[39][40]

Thus, condom use may reduce the risk that infected individuals will progress to cervical cancer or develop additional genital warts. A 2006 study of 82 college students suggests that condoms can be up to 70% effective for preventing genital HPV infection if used for every sexual encounter.[38] Planned Parenthood recommends condom use to reduce the risk of contracting HPV,[41] but the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention maintain that "While the effect of condoms in preventing HPV infection is unknown, condom use has been associated with a lower rate of cervical cancer, an HPV-associated disease."[42]

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 04:59 PM
I'm pretty sure there's almost zero symptoms in men, so most of us probably have it right now and walk around with it our whole lives and never know.

As we've gathered here, for women its a completely different story.

Well, you don't carry it your whole lives. It's something the body fights off. My older foster sister had the strand I have and ended up with cancer. She was treated fine and had kids. It's been two years and her body hasn't fought it off yet. She goes in every three months like I will start doing.

thatguyfromsyracuse
09-06-2007, 05:00 PM
I'd heard of it before, but I really didn't realize...Wow. I really hope everything turns out allright for you. I don't really know what else to say besides that.

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 05:00 PM
hate to harp on the point, but it's easier in a good relationship. this sounds like a "straw that broke the camel's back" kinda deal to me.

all around shitty situation, jessie. here's hoping you have some good news coming up.

Yeah. Again, you're probably right :/

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 05:01 PM
That is unreal. I'm doing some further reading:

Man that's scary.


I'd heard of it before, but I really didn't realize...Wow. I really hope everything turns out allright for you. I don't really know what else to say besides that.

Yeah, the only thing I had heard about it was the stuff I saw on TV about the vaccination.

Brad N.
09-06-2007, 05:01 PM
This sucks, Jessie. You are totally in my thoughts and I'm hoping things turn out okay (whether you're okay OR it's early enough to be easily cured) for you.

As for the question, that's tough. I actually seem to recall the HPV discussion here on this very board with you like last year so this is odd. I dunno how I'd live with my wife if she gave me an STD, that's a really tough call.

Thommy Melanson
09-06-2007, 05:01 PM
I'm not really angry at him for giving me HPV. There's no way he could have known. It's kinda.. I don't know. How do you look someone in the face everyday who gave you cancer?

If you do in fact have cancer...did the doctor say it's a direct result of HPV, or could you have the infection and the possible cancer is a coincidence?

About looking at him everyday...that's only something you can find out about yourself as you go through the experience.

Some people are assaulted and become stronger people. Others crumble.

xanderharris
09-06-2007, 05:03 PM
I'm really sorry.

That's a horrible situation for anyone

I would say follow your gut...and go with it.

Personally I'd prob kick his ass to the curb.

My thoughts are with you. Hope things turn out for the better.

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 05:04 PM
This sucks, Jessie. You are totally in my thoughts and I'm hoping things turn out okay (whether you're okay OR it's early enough to be easily cured) for you.

As for the question, that's tough. I actually seem to recall the HPV discussion here on this very board with you like last year so this is odd. I dunno how I'd live with my wife if she gave me an STD, that's a really tough call.

Well, it's not like he gave me genital herpes or anything. At least this will clear up when my immune system decides to kick it out.

I don't remember, lol.


If you do in fact have cancer...did the doctor say it's a direct result of HPV, or could you have the infection and the possible cancer is a coincidence?

About looking at him everyday...that's only something you can find out about yourself as you go through the experience.

Some people are assaulted and become stronger people. Others crumble.

I think they assume anyone with cancer who has HPV got it from HPV since in so many cases HPV is responsible.

kari
09-06-2007, 05:04 PM
1. Have you had more than one sexual partner? If you have your BF may not be whom you got the virus from...It can come from male or female partner and been there for years. Plus, there is no test available for men. There's no way he would have known.

2. HPV virus is not always sexual transmitted (most of the time but not always)

3. All forms of HPV will turn out abnormal pap test. Having a high risk version of HPV plus frequent infections is what leads to the cervical cancer.

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 05:04 PM
Personally I'd prob kick his ass to the curb.

My thoughts are with you. Hope things turn out for the better.

Thank you <3

Thommy Melanson
09-06-2007, 05:05 PM
...I dunno how I'd live with my wife if she gave me an STD, that's a really tough call.

It would depend on whether or not she had one and never knew about it, or if she contracted one via cheating, wouldn't it?

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 05:06 PM
1. Have you had more than one sexual partner? If you have your BF may not be whom you got the virus from...It can come from male or female partner and been there for years. Plus, there is no test available for men. There's no way he would have known.

2. HPV virus is not always sexual transmitted (most of the time but not always)

3. All forms of HPV will turn out abnormal pap test. Having a high risk version of HPV plus frequent infections is what leads to the cervical cancer.

My boyfriend before him, we both were virgins when we got together. Kinda like a high school sweetheart thing. We were together for 4 years.

While there's still a chance, it's highly unlikely.

bradical
09-06-2007, 05:11 PM
you need more info. http://www.thehpvtest.com the faq is informative.

you could have gotten it in any numbers of ways. it is incredibly common.

my best wishes for your test results.

Brad N.
09-06-2007, 05:16 PM
It would depend on whether or not she had one and never knew about it, or if she contracted one via cheating, wouldn't it?


Well, of course. Seeing as she has never had an abnormal PAP and they test for all that shit when you're preggo I would be shocked and amazed if she got something in the last few years and could only assume she cheated. But yeah, it would depend on the situation.

joespam
09-06-2007, 05:19 PM
Independent of the HPV, it sounds like you're already ready to lose this guy.

I think if you want to lump extra hate on him for giving you a disease that very few men are screened for or display symptoms for, I think your relationship already has enough problems. Unless you know he contracted HPV AFTER you guys got involved through cheating on you, but I don't get that impression.

That said, I really hope that you don't have cancer and that anything you do have is mild and easily cured.

T-Dro
09-06-2007, 05:19 PM
Jessie,

That's so awful for you. About eight years ago I had some "pre-cancerous cells" due to HPV, and had to have some minor surgery. It was unpleasant, but I've had mostly norml paps ever since. Will always have to watch out for it returning, of course, but so far I've been ok. I hope the same happens for you.

As for your relationship, obviously he didn't mean to give you cancer...but also, just as obviously, you are not getting what you need out of the relationship. This is probably a really tough time to deal with a break-up, but if you have a good support system of family and friends that can help you get through this, I say lose the bum.

Again, hope everything gets better for you soon.

Foolish Mortal
09-06-2007, 05:28 PM
I doubt the guy even realized that he could have given you cancer. So in that regard, you shouldn't be too hard on him.

However, it's pretty evident that you really don't care for this man anymore. So I see no point in keeping him in your life. Say goodbye.

Right now, you need to be looking out for number one. Yourself. Keep getting regular checkups, watch your diet, and exercise. And above all else, stay positive! I'm rooting for you. :thumb:

dasNdanger
09-06-2007, 06:33 PM
I have a friend whose husband gave her HPV. See...he was her only guy, so she had to get it from him. It really tore them both apart emotionally. But they love each other, and they're not going to let it mess up their relationship.

And that's it - they love each other.

If you're having doubts about the relationship, this might just be the thing needed to push it over the edge.


das

bradical
09-06-2007, 06:39 PM
I have a friend whose husband gave her HPV. See...he was her only guy, so she had to get it from him.


das

not necessarily true. so many ways to get it. ever have a wart as a child? that's hpv. it's a viral skin infection that can stay dormant for years.

http://www.thehpvtest.com

ZombieSpeedball
09-06-2007, 06:45 PM
Wow, Jessie, I am really sorry. I have to say I agree with the others who are saying that if you were already having those problems with the relationship, this might just be a sign that things really are over. We're all here for you, and I'm definately here for you if you need to talk.

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 06:47 PM
Thank you everyone for the input and good thoughts.

I mean, just when I think things can't get worse, my doctor tells me I may have Cancer. And considering I already have Endometriosis, would be nice if God (Not that I necessarily believe in Him) could back off the female bits for a while.

Amos Moses
09-06-2007, 06:51 PM
I have no advise to give, but I hope your results come back negative.

Ryan Elliott
09-06-2007, 06:51 PM
Could you live with someone who gave you cancer?


I don't think I could.



And I really hope everything gets better for you. I really do.

dasNdanger
09-06-2007, 06:52 PM
not necessarily true. so many ways to get it. ever have a wart as a child? that's hpv. it's a viral skin infection that can stay dormant for years.




She developed genital warts only after they were together. Doctor basically verified that it came from her husband - he had other women before her. So...I'm just going by what her doctor told her. Still, they're happy together. She just keeps an eye on things...well, not literally...but, ya know...regular check-ups and stuff.

das

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 06:53 PM
She developed genital warts only after they were together. Doctor basically verified that it came from her husband - he had other women before her. So...I'm just going by what her doctor told her. Still, they're happy together. She just keeps an eye on things...well, not literally...but, ya know...regular check-ups and stuff.

das

Jesus. If I had the warts it would make it even worse.

c. page
09-06-2007, 06:55 PM
Jesus. If I had the warts it would make it even worse.

well, there you go, i guess. could be worse.

bartleby
09-06-2007, 06:56 PM
Jesus. If I had the warts it would make it even worse.


I'm pretty sure genital warts have never made anything better.

ZombieSpeedball
09-06-2007, 06:57 PM
Jesus. If I had the warts it would make it even worse.

Come on, you need to stop looking at the negative aspects of all of this. Especially in the case of things you don't even have.

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 06:58 PM
Come on, you need to stop looking at the negative aspects of all of this. Especially in the case of things you don't even have.

That's optimistic! XD

ZombieSpeedball
09-06-2007, 06:59 PM
That's optimistic! XD

LIES! Lies and deception.




I just wants you to be happy again. Yooz ma freend. :D

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 06:59 PM
LIES! Lies and deception.




I just wants you to be happy again. Yooz ma freend. :D

Awww.

Looking at your signature makes me super happy.

kari
09-06-2007, 06:59 PM
She developed genital warts only after they were together. Doctor basically verified that it came from her husband - he had other women before her. So...I'm just going by what her doctor told her. Still, they're happy together. She just keeps an eye on things...well, not literally...but, ya know...regular check-ups and stuff.

das

Still does not mean she got it from him. There are many....many different types of HPV and there are a few non STD related versions of it.

As a nurse I encourage anyone with young daughters to please consider getting the HPV vaccine (Gardasil).

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 07:01 PM
Still does not mean she got it from him. There are many....many different types of HPV and there are a few non STD related versions of it.

As a nurse I encourage anyone with young daughters to please consider getting the HPV vaccine (Gardasil).

I'm still getting the vaccine.

ZombieSpeedball
09-06-2007, 07:02 PM
Awww.

Looking at your signature makes me super happy.

Anything that will help. In fact...

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 07:03 PM
Anything that will help. In fact...

Mmmm.... Hayden...

ClintP
09-06-2007, 07:12 PM
Based on the first post, if I was happy in all areas of the relationship and got what you did it would be hard to really blame the other person. You knew there were risks from having unprotected sex. EDIT - This sentence sounded bad and uncaring. I would blame someone for giving me something, but the cancer part of it.. I don't know. I certainly hope everything turns out ok for you. This really sucks.

On the other hand, you said the guy is not cutting it for you in other areas that are vital to the relationship. In that regard I would move on.

I think you have some tough choices ahead of you and you may be mixing your feelings in the here and now between the guy you are not digging with your health issues. I will keep you in my thoughts and I hope everything turns out ok.

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 07:15 PM
Based on the first post, if I was happy in all areas of the relationship and got what you did it would be hard to really blame the other person. You knew there were risks from having unprotected sex.

I never said I had unprotected sex. I've also had 6 condoms break on me. And you can get HPV even with having sex and using condoms.

ClintP
09-06-2007, 07:18 PM
I never said I had unprotected sex. I've also had 6 condoms break on me. And you can get HPV even with having sex and using condoms.

Well that sucks. I am really sorry to hear about all this. You seem like a really cool person and I hate when bad stuff happens like this. I just assumed since I didn't know you could get it while using a condom.

BaconWhoreSqueeeaaal
09-06-2007, 07:21 PM
Well that sucks. I am really sorry to hear about all this. You seem like a really cool person and I hate when bad stuff happens like this. I just assumed since I didn't know you could get it while using a condom.

Probably happened from the other thing though.

<3 And I'm the most awesome person EVER

The Zevad
09-06-2007, 07:29 PM
I don't have the words. I really hope everything works out for you and your'e in my prayers. I never heard of HPV until this thread. I looked it up and got htis link http://www.cdc.gov/std/HPV/STDFact-HPV.htm Holy Christ. So much shit out there I never heard of! God bless.

Mylazycat
09-06-2007, 07:44 PM
I saw the thread to cheer you up but I had no idea this was the reason. Really, really pulling for you here.

Foolish Mortal
09-06-2007, 07:45 PM
<3 And I'm the most awesome person EVER
Can't really argue with that. :D

ZombieSpeedball
09-06-2007, 07:50 PM
<3 And I'm the most awesome person EVER

Correct.

stevapalooza
09-06-2007, 09:44 PM
Try not to let it freak you out. People hear "Cancer" and they think immediate death sentence. But it sounds to me like even if you do have Cancer you probably discovered it early enough for there not to be a major problem.
But I sympathize. Even a brush with Cancer is pretty scary. I have 2 relatives with Cancer. One discovered it early and is doing fine, the other discovered it late and isn't so fine. Checkups are definitely important.

Relaunched
09-07-2007, 12:06 AM
I am really sorry you are dealing with this and know it can be scary. I've dealt with HPV before and am a little concerned that your doctor told you it looked bad before the biopsy came in. There is no way he/she could possibly judge "weak cells" and the first rule of dealing with cancer is to not upset the patient before you know anything definitive. I would be very concerned with this doctor.

I do beleive you should end this relationship, if indeed you are really asking. It has nothing to do with this situation- how could you be mad at someone who may or may not have given you an incredibly common virus that even condoms cannot stop? HPV is transfered in variety of physical ways and you could just as easily be mad at the person who gave it to him (which you will never be sure he gave to you) or even your own cells for not fighting it off. Anger is not going to help and if anything could make matters worse

Caley Tibbittz
09-07-2007, 12:37 AM
You're a cool person and I'd hate if anything bad happened to you, so best wishes and good health.

*concentrates really hard*



Ha! I fixed you! In your FACE, God!:-x



...I wish I had superpowers...

nick maynard
09-07-2007, 03:00 AM
Better go get your cervix tested.

guys can get hpv, its a touch more rare though. but it usually ends up giving them penile cancer or renal cancer.

there really couldn't be a better time to promote the hpv vaccine. women, get it!

Pia Guerra
09-07-2007, 03:12 AM
Yeah... you may need to talk to your doctor about checking for throat cancers too. Sorry.

We had an HPV scare a couple of years back when I had to get a cervical lump biopsied. As it turned out I just came from "bumpy people", no cancer, no HPV. But the couple of weeks we waited for the results were excruciating. Of course there was the issue of how I may have gotten it (because the doctor was convinced I had it) despite being monogamous for over five years. The virus can be dormant for years so its possible I got it from a previous partner despite always using protection. Same with Ian. I never showed signs, had multiple negative returns in STD tests so yeah, I could have gotten it from him but since men rarely know they have it and can get it from contact outside of condom use I really couldn't let myself blame him. I tried to imagine doing that but no, no way. I love him too much. Chalk it up to shit happening.

And then the tests came back negative. Big relief, no guilt. Loved him even more because he was so supportive through it all.

The HPV is one thing, your relationship is another. Don't bundle them together. If you use it to make breaking up easier you'll just end up hurting both of yourselves. Part of being in a sexual relationship is taking responsibility for the consequences that may result. No one forced you to have sex with him, you took the same chances as anyone does. If you had gotten pregnant despite taking precautions would you blame him as well? No, you chalk it up to a broken condom and bad luck. Same goes here.

I really hope you get through this okay. If it is cancer you deal with it (with or without him, your choice), it does sound like you got it early so best of luck.

Barry Hollifield
09-07-2007, 03:16 AM
It depends how YOU feel. If YOUR not happy then move on. Hope everything goes well for you!!

DrMachine
09-07-2007, 04:59 AM
If you cringe at girly stuff, I put it under "hide" so you can just read the question.



My boyfriend and I have been having a LOT of issues lately. And our relationship is just about over. He's not there for me financially or emotionally.

It kinda all accumulated when I went in for a routine pap.

There is a high chance I have cervical cancer. I tested positive for HPV. And I'm a high risk patient. Apparently 50% of sexually active people have HPV and 80% of them are women. I have a strand that can cause cancer. HPV is responsible for 70% of cervical cancer cases. I just had my biopsy today and am awaiting my results. (Jesus did that hurt) Doctor says there is an area of weak cells that looks really bad.

I didn't even know what HPV was until about two years ago.

Men do not get yearly check ups like woman, so they don't know if they are carrying it, as most strands of HPV do not show signs.



My question is this:

Could you live with someone who gave you cancer?

not to sound crass but are you sure he gave it to you?

DrMachine
09-07-2007, 05:05 AM
I am really sorry you are dealing with this and know it can be scary. I've dealt with HPV before and am a little concerned that your doctor told you it looked bad before the biopsy came in. There is no way he/she could possibly judge "weak cells" and the first rule of dealing with cancer is to not upset the patient before you know anything definitive. I would be very concerned with this doctor.

I do beleive you should end this relationship, if indeed you are really asking. It has nothing to do with this situation- how could you be mad at someone who may or may not have given you an incredibly common virus that even condoms cannot stop? HPV is transfered in variety of physical ways and you could just as easily be mad at the person who gave it to him (which you will never be sure he gave to you) or even your own cells for not fighting it off. Anger is not going to help and if anything could make matters worse

condoms can't "stop" it?

...also this is the perfect example of why people should get upset when they hear their doctor say "we aren't sure...we have to take tests...etc...etc...etc.."

Patrick J
09-07-2007, 05:08 AM
If Could you live with someone who gave you cancer?

If I loved them. Then absolutely.

JABSEN
09-07-2007, 05:15 AM
eesh, Sorry, Jessie.

/(. . )/
09-07-2007, 05:24 AM
I have a friend whose husband gave her HPV. See...he was her only guy, so she had to get it from him. It really tore them both apart emotionally. But they love each other, and they're not going to let it mess up their relationship.

And that's it - they love each other.

If you're having doubts about the relationship, this might just be the thing needed to push it over the edge.


das

This sums up my feelings as well. If you love someone, then you're there for each other no matter what.

To answer your question, yes, assuming we love each other.

Keep your spirits up! Your heart knows what's right for you.