Bald Steve
08-28-2007, 07:27 AM
I haven't had that much fun at the movies since I saw a midnight showing of the original Die Hard years ago. The audience (a pretentious L.A. audience, I might add) broke into massive ovation on four separate occassions during this ultra-violent comedy masterpiece. It is to action movies what Kung Fu Hustle was to Kung Fu moves.
--------------MINOR PLOT SPOILERS--------------
It opens with Clive Owen, playing a bum named Mr. Smith, sitting on a bench waiting for the bus. A few seconds later a crying and scared pregnant lady runs by holding her belly. Another few seconds later a Trans-Am crashes around the corner from direction she just came and out hops an angry man who storms by Owen yelling, "You're dead, bitch!". Owen shakes his head, stands up to intervine, and begins the most entertaining and hilarious thrill and laugh ride I've ever been on.
----------------MAJOR KILLING SPOILERS----------------
The kills in this are fucking wildly inventive and utterly hilarious. He uses carrots in about five different ways to kill people, he throws a guy on onto a helicopter during a free-fall gunfight, he kills a guy he can't see by shooting his friend into position and then shooting his hand (which makes his gun go off and hit hidden guy), he blows the back of a guy's head off because he doesn't like his ponytail, he rams a mercedes off the road because the driver changed lanes without signaling, he kills ten guys while fucking Monica Bellucci, he kills guys while delivering a baby and then shoots the umbilical cord when he's done. That is a fraction of what he does. He kills hundreds and hundreds of people and is described by Monica Bellucci's character as, "The angriest man alive".
I swear, I'm not overhyping. It's that good. By the time the guitar riff from "Kickstart my Heart" came on at the end the audience was in a frenzy. You won't have more fun at the movies this summer.
--------------MINOR PLOT SPOILERS--------------
It opens with Clive Owen, playing a bum named Mr. Smith, sitting on a bench waiting for the bus. A few seconds later a crying and scared pregnant lady runs by holding her belly. Another few seconds later a Trans-Am crashes around the corner from direction she just came and out hops an angry man who storms by Owen yelling, "You're dead, bitch!". Owen shakes his head, stands up to intervine, and begins the most entertaining and hilarious thrill and laugh ride I've ever been on.
----------------MAJOR KILLING SPOILERS----------------
The kills in this are fucking wildly inventive and utterly hilarious. He uses carrots in about five different ways to kill people, he throws a guy on onto a helicopter during a free-fall gunfight, he kills a guy he can't see by shooting his friend into position and then shooting his hand (which makes his gun go off and hit hidden guy), he blows the back of a guy's head off because he doesn't like his ponytail, he rams a mercedes off the road because the driver changed lanes without signaling, he kills ten guys while fucking Monica Bellucci, he kills guys while delivering a baby and then shoots the umbilical cord when he's done. That is a fraction of what he does. He kills hundreds and hundreds of people and is described by Monica Bellucci's character as, "The angriest man alive".
I swear, I'm not overhyping. It's that good. By the time the guitar riff from "Kickstart my Heart" came on at the end the audience was in a frenzy. You won't have more fun at the movies this summer.