PDA

View Full Version : Fort Lauderdale mayor says robotic toilet will stop gay sex



Brian Defferding
07-04-2007, 09:16 PM
Fort Lauderdale mayor says $250K robotic toilet may put stop to 'illegal sex' (http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/broward/sfl-flbtoilets0704nbjul04,0,3994571.story?track=mostem ailedlink)

By Brittany Wallman
South Florida Sun-Sentinel
Posted July 4 2007

FORT LAUDERDALE -- Mayor Jim Naugle has never been shy about voicing his beliefs.

He's called some environmentalists "wackos" and said people complaining about high home prices were lazy, beer drinking "schlocks."

Now the mayor has shifted his attention to a robotic toilet, saying the invention could have a special edge over a traditional restroom in preventing the "homosexual activity" that he said plagues other public restrooms.

The robo-john the city might buy for $250,000 or more allows occupants to stay inside for only a short time before the door opens. Probably not enough time for "illegal sex," Naugle figures.

The restroom, already in use in Atlanta, Seattle and New York, also plays music and cleans the seat automatically.

"We're trying to provide a family environment where people can take their children who need to use the bathroom," he said, "without having to worry about a couple of men in there engaged in a sex act."

Though police say sex in restrooms is no longer a hot crime, the mayor thinks it is. He talked about the illicit sex recently in public meetings, in an interview and in e-mails to residents.

Naugle, not a stranger to public controversy, particularly on the issue of gays, said public restrooms are pickup places for "homosexuals. ... They're engaging in sex, anonymous sex, illegal sex."

The proposed location for the city's experimental automated toilet is the parking lot at Sebastian Street, at what many locals call the "gay beach." Naugle told the South Florida Sun-Sentinel that the intelligent commode's security features are vital at this location, which he called "the rainbow parking lot."

"The homosexual newspaper said it's the 'gay parking lot.' That's not me saying that," Naugle said in the interview, "that's what they said. I don't use the word 'gay.' I use the word 'homosexual.' Most of them aren't gay. They're unhappy."

Naugle has been outspoken as a Christian and a social and political conservative.

When the Christian outreach event Beachfest came to town in 2003, he said anyone who had a problem with the city's official embrace of the religious festival "can move to Iraq."

He angered middle class residents last year when he said housing prices would be affordable if people worked more hours instead of sitting on the couch drinking beer. Earlier this year, he refused to sign a mayor's pact to reduce greenhouse gases. Naugle said global warming is not caused by humans and that the pact contained "hate-America stuff that the environmental wackos want in."

His latest comments about gays thus didn't come as much of a surprise to some.

"Excuse me?" said Marc Hansen, a leader among local gay residents. "Thank God this is his last term."

Dean Trantalis, the openly gay lawyer who sat on the Commission with Naugle for three years, laughed when told of the comments. Trantalis said he's proud the beach welcomes gay families and continues to attract gay visitors.

The beach needs more toilets, he said, and the decision shouldn't be made on whether people will use them for sex. And they still might, he said, even in the short time-frame.

"I'm not an expert on public toilet sex," said Trantalis, "but there are those who would say one minute would be enough. Or 30 seconds."

The City Commission still has to vote to buy it, and would use property tax funds from the beach Community Redevelopment Agency, money that cannot be used for police or lifeguards, officials said.

Police officials said male sex in restrooms is actually not a problem, anymore.

"There's no evidence, no reports or arrests made for any men having sex in any restrooms," said Sgt. Frank Sousa.

Brittany Wallman can be reached at bwallman@sun-sentinel.com or 954-356-4541.

AAlgar
07-04-2007, 09:17 PM
I took some journalism classes long ago, and one of the things they taught us was how to write a headline that really entices the reader and makes them feel like they can't miss the story.

This is such a headline.

Brian Defferding
07-04-2007, 09:29 PM
When I first read the headline, I had a wonderous and beautiful visual of a robot sticking some sort of fecal filter in the colon or something.

SteveFlack
07-04-2007, 09:30 PM
Every line in this article is hilarious.

-Steve!

Gunter
07-04-2007, 10:34 PM
"I'm not an expert on public toilet sex," said Trantalis, "but there are those who would say one minute would be enough. Or 30 seconds."


:no:

King Of Fakeposts
07-04-2007, 10:50 PM
Gold.

Patrick King
07-05-2007, 12:35 AM
I'll be the first to say it... this guy's probably deep in the closet if he's that hung up on it.

NewChad
07-05-2007, 01:12 AM
If he paid me $250,000 I'd stop having gay sex too...



well, maybe not...

sumopanda
07-05-2007, 01:15 AM
Oh, and here I thought robotic toilets were going to take care of the needs of gay men in order to remove the NEED to engage in gay sex! Now THAT would be an invention, my friend!

Joe Kalicki
07-05-2007, 01:44 AM
I've never had gay sex, but I can honestly say the heterosexual sex I've had has never lasted under a minute. Also, I've never been able to properly and cleanly utilize a toilet for solid waste purposes in under that time either.

Of course, the actual time limit isn't given and this is all speculation. But if the door was gonna pop open on me in the middle of something for all to see I'd prefer it was intercourse than a bowel movement.

Brian Defferding
07-05-2007, 05:31 AM
I do agree that toilets should be robots, or preferrably, transformers.

What would be a good name for a toilet transformer?

AAlgar
07-05-2007, 05:32 AM
I do agree that toilets should be robots, or preferrably, transformers.

What would be a good name for a toilet transformer?

Craptimus Prime?
Shitwave?
Megaturd?

Matt Jay
07-05-2007, 05:44 AM
Oh, Florida!:blah:

Jef UK
07-05-2007, 05:45 AM
Robots have the latest innovations in gaydar built right in!

mattbrand
07-05-2007, 05:49 AM
Though police say sex in restrooms is no longer a hot crime, the mayor thinks it is. He talked about the illicit sex recently in public meetings, in an interview and in e-mails to residents.

I guess it's better to listen to the mayor about what crime to focus on, rather than the police.

Jef UK
07-05-2007, 05:50 AM
I guess it's better to listen to the mayor about what crime to focus on, rather than the police.

The mayor is more focused on hawt crimes.

SeanC
07-05-2007, 06:02 AM
Oh, and here I thought robotic toilets were going to take care of the needs of gay men in order to remove the NEED to engage in gay sex! Now THAT would be an invention, my friend!

No, those would be robotic bedays :D

Bill?
07-05-2007, 06:03 AM
worst robot job ever.

Brian Defferding
07-05-2007, 06:14 AM
Craptimus Prime?
Shitwave?
Megaturd?

Commodicon?

I'm leaning toward Craptimus Prime though.

SeanC
07-05-2007, 06:16 AM
I'm leaning toward Craptimus Prime though.

Pooptimus Grime?
FartScream?

Brian Defferding
07-05-2007, 06:18 AM
Pooptimus Grime?
FartScream?

FartScream? :lol: Greatest name ever!

Foolish Mortal
07-05-2007, 06:32 AM
Oh, Florida!:blah:
I'm really starting to believe that a lot of crazies are migrating to that state. :lol:

silverboy
07-05-2007, 06:35 AM
I think anybody having sex in a public bathroom isn't too concerned about the door being open.

And can't they just close it again?

sto110
07-05-2007, 06:45 AM
uh, i could have sex like 5 times in the time it takes me to take a shit if i really wanted to.

now gay sex i am unsure about i dont have anything like that timed

Roman Noodles
07-05-2007, 07:58 AM
:rollout:

Matt Jay
07-05-2007, 08:07 AM
uh, i could have sex like 5 times in the time it takes me to take a shit if i really wanted to.

now gay sex i am unsure about i dont have anything like that timed

I'm not even gay but I'm pretty sure I could consummate gay sex in 30 seconds if I put my mind to it. For me anyway.

It really doesn't make sense. It sounds like a politician pandering to the formidable crazy vote.

Rosemary's Baby
07-05-2007, 08:11 AM
That was amazing.

Why anyone would ever live in Florida is beyond me. How can some people be so out of touch?

TIP
07-05-2007, 08:12 AM
Time to listen to Zappa's JOE'S GARAGE again.

McAfee
07-05-2007, 08:13 AM
Nevermind sex. I'd have to close the door at least 15 times just to take a poo.

Matt O'Keefe
07-05-2007, 08:19 AM
"The homosexual newspaper said it's the 'gay parking lot.' That's not me saying that," Naugle said in the interview, "that's what they said. I don't use the word 'gay.' I use the word 'homosexual.' Most of them aren't gay. They're unhappy."

I...... don't know how to respond to that.

mario
07-05-2007, 08:20 AM
Time to listen to Zappa's JOE'S GARAGE again.

Hey Tony, Dweezil's doing a another tour this year! Didya know?

TIP
07-05-2007, 08:35 AM
Hey Tony, Dweezil's doing a another tour this year! Didya know?

:thumb:

Yep. I'm heading to the Milwaukee, Wisconsin show later this month. They are also playing some festival here in Minnesota...but I passing on that appearance as it's a festival (over a couple of days) and the potential for Tent Cities blocking my view and the rank malador of the great unwashed inhibiting my ability to properly respirate.

T
(I got to see two of last year's ZPZ shows...Chicago AND Minneapolis)

Brian Defferding
07-05-2007, 08:53 AM
I'm not even gay but I'm pretty sure I could consummate gay sex in 30 seconds if I put my mind to it. For me anyway.

It really doesn't make sense. It sounds like a politician pandering to the formidable crazy vote.

It certainly shows the crazy side of America - these toilets are hailed for its sanitation, and most of them charge 50 cents or so for each use so it's economical too - but this mayor thinks it is all about stopping teh buttsecks :lol:

Bill?
07-05-2007, 09:22 AM
I...... don't know how to respond to that.

well on the surface it sounds kind of strange. but if you think about it, having anonymous sex in a robotic porta-john probably isn't a indicator of a very happy life.

Ben
07-05-2007, 09:23 AM
uh, i could have sex like 5 times in the time it takes me to take a shit if i really wanted to.

now gay sex i am unsure about i dont have anything like that timedIt's kind of like taking a shit in reverse.

Roman Noodles
07-05-2007, 09:29 AM
well on the surface it sounds kind of strange. but if you think about it, having anonymous sex in a robotic porta-john probably isn't a indicator of a very happy life.

Maybe . . . But it's no reason to turn that into a gay thing. It's a freakin' toilet. THIS is where America's Tax Dollars are going?

Matt Jay
07-05-2007, 09:31 AM
It's kind of like taking a shit in reverse.

You should give speeches for tolerance to schools across the country.