Easter Eggs!

[Dan Slott]

:spidsens:CONTENTS:torch:
Easter Eggs Pt.1: My Dead Punisher Story
(Scroll down)
Easter Eggs Pt.2: 5 Pages of Plot/5 Pages of Script (Or Writing Robin "Marvel Style")
http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showpost.php?p=2731134&postcount=7
Easter Eggs Pt.3: Pitching Springboards (And Dead Batman Beyond stuff)
http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showthread.php?t=103020&page=2
Easter Eggs Pt.4: Plot for SHE-HULK Vol.1 #2
http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showpost.php?p=2748632&postcount=14
Easter Eggs Pt.5: My Eerie Speedball Prediction... Circa 1991
http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showpost.php?p=3103348&postcount=19


Hi!
I've gotten a number of requests for both sample scripts/plots AND for peeks at dead/killed projects. And who am I to say no to Jinxworld posters? So starting today I thought I'd show you some scripts/plots of stories that have already seen print...

...or in, this case, projects that have been bought, paid for, and killed. This happens a LOT in this industry. In the case of Acclaim Comics, I had HUNDREDS of pages of material in drawers-- all of it slated to come out... But then the company went through "restructuring period"... And "restructured" itself right out of existence. I probably won't be posting ANY of that material, since there are a number of concepts and ideas that I can still use in other media.

Then there are certain ideas/concepts/pitches that are dead-dead-dead. Most of these are stories that were done ages ago-- and while they languished out of sight-- someone else produced something that was either TOO similar to the concept or completely invalidated it. (Check out the photocopier scene in today's script. I wrote that back in '94 and I'd never seen ANYONE do that bit before. Since then, I've seen it done a ba-zillion times.)

In the case of this PUNISHER story: "Serious Business", this was produced for then Punisher Editor, Don Daley. It would have been my first full length, non-funny animal comic. It was penciled by Mike Harris and inked by Jimmy Palmiotti (the same team from my first Punisher short story). And it was slated to run in an issue of PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL. It was two or three months away from being solicited when Don Daley was let go from Marvel in the first editorial "purge" of the 90's.

When group editor, Bobbie Chase, inherited Don's backlog, she discovered that Don had acquired tens of thousands of dollars worth of Punisher inventory issues. The book could have run on automatic pilot for YEARS without missing shipping. (Which probably explains why the status quo stayed the same in Punisher books for over half a decade).

One of Bobbie's first acts as group editor was to take the hit and KILL all of Don's backlog. Which included my issue. Trust me, as much as I like the story, it was pretty hard to feel sorry for myself. It was a scary time. Along with the fact that there were dozens and dozens of other freelancers whose work was killed in that opening blast-- there were also a LOT of Marvel staffers that I really liked, like Don, who had just lost their JOBS during that wave of firings. To this day it's easy to keep that in perspective.

Anyway... Here's the full script (a rarity for me) for that issue. I hope you enjoy it! Please remember, this is one of my EARLIEST scripts so be gentle okay? And now, after a 13 year wait, here's PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL'S "SERIOUS BUSINESS"...


PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL
"SERIOUS BUSINESS"
PLOT for 20pgs.
DAN SLOTT
4/15/94

PAGE ONE
SPLASH
Thirty stories up in a Park Avenue hotel, the PUNISHER chases a YAKUZA bag man through billowing clouds of tear gas. With a gas mask on, the PUNISHER looks almost insect-like. The bag man, JIRO, wears a suitcase handcuffed to his wrist.
TITLE: SERIOUS BUSINESS
CAP: The Brentmore Arms, a five star hotel, that caters only to the biggest movers and shakers.
CAP: People like Jiro Watanabe, a Yakuza bag man, on his way to make an important drop.
CAP: Time to show him a service I extend to world weary travelers like himself:
CAP: Express checkout.

PAGE TWO
PANEL ONE
PUNISHER continues to gun down coughing thugs and body guards as he races through the corridors, never taking his eyes off the bag man ahead of him. Mounted to the ceiling is a security camera.
CAP: Got to hurry this up.
CAP: Sooner or later, either Jiro rabbits, one of his buddies gets in a lucky shot...

PANEL TWO
On a higher floor, the YAKUZA head watches the PUNISHER'S rampage on surveillance cameras.
CAP: ...or they send in "the calvary."
LEADER: <He is four floors below on 30.>
CAP: Translated from Japanese.

PANEL THREE
The YAKUZA leader orders some of his men to take out THE PUNISHER from the outside. His troops are modern day ninjas, armed with laser sighted ordnance. (MIKE-- let's not make these big, red-hooded typical comicbook ninjas, but rather state of the art professionals, sleek and hi-tech).
LEADER: <Take out everyone on the floor if you have to.>
LEADER: <He is not to leave the building alive.>

PANEL FOUR
They begin to repel from the outside of the building.
TEXT: HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT

PAGE THREE
PANEL ONE
Meanwhile, PUNISHER has taken down JIRO with some crippling leg shots.
CAP: Finally!

PANEL TWO
He searches JIRO'S flailing body for a key to the suitcase handcuffed to his arm, but to no avail.
PUNISHER: The key! Give me the key!
JIRO: AIIIIII!
CAP: Don't have time for this @#*!

PANEL THREE
Quick cut to the repelling ninjas.
TEXT: HUT HUT HUT HUT

PANEL FOUR
Back to the PUNISHER. He blows the suit case open....
CAP: This better be worth it!

PANEL FIVE
...and there's his prize: a lone computer cd.
CAP: Bingo!
CAP: The Yakuza's "books"! 64 megabytes of all their dirty dealings all down loaded onto one CD-ROM.

PAGE FOUR
PANEL ONE
Suddenly, all around him, the YAKUZA's shock troop burst through every available window.
SFX: KRAAAASHHH!

PANEL TWO
They land on their feet, laser sightings on and primed.

PANEL THREE
BIG PANEL. We see a reaction shot of THE PUNISHER, he's covered head to toe in "red dots."
PUNISHER: @#*!

PAGE FIVE
PANEL ONE
PUNISHER runs down the hallway, taking fire left and right. The air is filled with big HOWARD CHAYKIN-ish sound effects.
CAP: Four yards from the planned exit...

PANEL TWO
He makes a wild dive, and disappears down a laundry chute.
CAP: ...thirty stories to the basement floor...

PANEL THREE
He falls down 30 floors of chute, bumping, slamming, and sliding the whole way.
PUNISHER: @#*!
PUNISHER: @#*!
PUNISHER: @#*!

PANEL FOUR
He lands in a laundry basket on the basement level. All the white sheets around him bleed to red.
SFX: WUMPH!
PUNISHER: ...and knee-deep in the sheets.

PAGE SIX
PANEL ONE
MICRO is there, dressed as someone from the laundry service. He leans in, looking down at FRANK.
MICRO: Bleedin' on the linnens again, Frank.
MICRO: You know how hard it is to get that stuff out?
PANEL TWO
MICRO wheels the basket into the back of a waiting laundry truck...
MICRO: Maybe a good pre-soak. Who knows?

PANEL THREE
...then hops into the front seat.
MICRO: Lucky for you, Frank...

PANEL FOUR
CUT to his foot hitting the gas pedal.
MICRO: Getting things out is my specialty.

PANEL FIVE
The truck bursts through the hotel's security gates and screeches off towards one of the PUNISHER'S safe houses.

PAGE SEVEN
PANEL ONE
At the safe house, PUNISHER peels off his kevlar. It's riddled with slugs, and he's riddled with bruises.
CAP: Later, at the safe house.
PUNISHER: (eyeing the kevlar) Micro, easy on the starch next time!

PANEL TWO
MICRO, though at his computers, is still in his laundry uniform. He�s lit by the computers green light. Columns of numbers are reflected in the planes of his glasses.
MICRO: You should take laundry more seriously, Frank.
MICRO: It looks like the YAKUZA do.

PANEL THREE
This has the PUNISHER'S attention. They've been trying to find the YAKUZA'S money laundering connection for a dog's age. MICRO shows FRANK the info he's dug up from the CD.
PUNISHER: It's there?
PUNISHER: Tell me you've got the name of the Yakuza's money launderer.
MICRO: OMNI-MART. American owned supermarket chain. Their organization circulates billions of dollars on a monthly basis.

PANEL FOUR
PUNISHER: I say we blow up the corporate HQ.
MICRO: That shouldn't be necessary, Frank.
MICRO: After all you own a controlling share in their stock.

PANEL FIVE
CLOSE UP on THE PUNISHER'S confused and shocked face.
PUNISHER: What the @#*?!"

PAGE EIGHT
PANEL ONE
MICRO explains.
MICRO: Over the years I've shrewdly invested money from the warchest into some big business ventures.

PANEL TWO
He gestures around to all the equipment in the warehouse. We see the vast scope of all the equipment THE PUNISHER uses.
MICRO: You don't think we could afford all this with just the money you've managed to steal from the mob, do you?

PANEL THREE
PUNISHER still wants to take them down hard and fast, with force and firepower.
PUNISHER: Look, Micro, I don't care. Just give me a gun and point me in the right direction.
MICRO: Frank, there's no need for all of that.
MICRO: Really. Trust me.

PANEL FOUR
ESTABLISHING SHOT of OMNI-MART corporate headquarters in midtown Manhattan. It's a tall gleaming building with a statue of the company logo standing proudly in the outdoor plaza.
CAP: "Just attend the next shareholders meeting, exercise your options..."
CAP: "And you'll take 'em all down, without firing a single shot."

PANEL FIVE
CUT to the OMNI-MART corporate boardroom, the PUNISHER shows up clean shaven, suit, tie, and Punisher-skull cuff-links. With his index finger he tugs his collar away from his neck.
CAP: This is stupid.

PAGE NINE
PANEL ONE
THE PUNISHER feels ridiculous. At a long conference table, everyone at the meeting waits for their new, mysterious, majority shareholder to talk. He begins to read from note-cards MICRO has prepared for him.
CAP: Much rather blow them all away, instead I'm drinking Bavarian Mocha with them!
FRANK: Gentlemen, I'm sure most of you are surprised to discover you have a majority stockholder...
FRANK: ...as I have gathered my holdings through numerous companies and second parties.

PANEL TWO
Over the shoulder shot. We see FRANK fumbling through the cards.
FRANK: But no more shocked than I am, at OMNI-MART'S lackluster performance of late...
FRANK: ...in the market place.
CARD (typeset): BUT NO MORE SHOCKED THAN I AM, AT OMNI-MART'S LACKLUSTER PERFORMANCE OF LATE, IN THE MARKET PLACE.
CARD (handwritten note): --having fun yet, Frank? --M.C.
CAP: I'll get you for this, Micro.

PANEL THREE
FRANK: That is why I am sad to announce, that I will be selling my shares...
FRANK: ...to our note-worthy competitor, PATHWAY INC.

PANEL FOUR
The board members are aghast. One spit-takes with his Bavarian Mocha.
CAP: According to MICRO, if PATHWAY has controlling shares...
CAP: They'll replace all the OMNI-MART board members with their own suits...

PANEL FIVE
CLOSE UP on GARDNER NASH, chairman of the board, an old, but stocky man, an impressive power figure. He keeps his best poker face as he ponders not only the collapse of his power structure, but also the YAKUZA'S reactions.
CAP: Doubt the YAKUZA will be happy about that.

PAGE TEN
PANEL ONE
NASH takes FRANK aside and tells him of a complication. He can't exercise that particular option at this point in time. FRANK looks at him suspiciously... MICRO didn't mention anything about this...
NASH: Look, it's well within your rights to make this decision.
NASH: But I must invoke the rules of the company charter...

PANEL TWO
NASH firmly holds FRANK on the shoulder. FRANK would much rather shoot him than have to talk with him.
NASH: ...when you took on enough stock to become the majority shareholder,
NASH: you signed a clause allowing us to convene an emergency meeting of the board--
NASH: A chance to woo you back to the OMNI-MART way of thinking.

PANEL THREE
NASH: This weekend we'll hold a retreat in one of the corporate owned lodges out in the country.
NASH: If we can't convince you by the start of the working day Monday.
NASH: Then for all means, continue with your current course of action.

PANEL FOUR
As FRANK takes his briefcase and heads out, NASH pulls one of his VPs over, PETE GROSSMAN, a clean-cut, healthy looking yuppie, the up and comer you'd find driving home the winning run at the company softball game.
NASH: Looks like were going to be having an emergency retreat in the country this weekend...
GROSSMAN: And let me guess, you want me to keep a close eye on our majority shareholder?

PANEL FIVE
NASH: Of course, make sure he doesn't have any accidents...
GROSSMAN: Like Jensen had on that white water rafting trip... Or Davis on the rock-climbing jaunt in Yosemite.

PANEL SIX
GROSSMAN sighs.
GROSSMAN: The mortality rate at this company...
GROSSMAN: You know it's going to send our insurance premiums through the roof.
NASH: Lighten up. We're making a killing.
NASH: 'Thought this year we could go... duck hunting.

PAGE ELEVEN
PANEL ONE
CUT to the duck pond near the retreat, the sun's just coming up. Those annoying little bugs, midges, are all catching the sunlight. GROSSMAN, in duck hunting gear is loading up his shotgun. He talks to his one of his cronies.
GROSSMAN: After our little mishap, I'll stay with the body�doing everything in my power to try to "save" him.
GROSSMAN: You go with some of the boys to get help.

PANEL TWO
GROSSMAN: Be sure to get Sheriff Roberts. He's the one we've made "special arrangements" with.
CRONY: God I hate this crap.
CRONY: It's gonna blow the whole weekend.

PANEL THREE
They spot the PUNISHER sitting in his duck blind.
GROSSMAN: Trust me. You'll be home in time to catch all the sports highlights...
GROSSMAN: There he is, just where we left him....

PANEL FOUR
GROSSMAN takes aim...

PANEL FIVE
...and blows the PUNISHER away.

PAGE TWELVE
PANEL ONE
...But it's not really FRANK, just his hunting jacket, hat, and rifle, propped up in a makeshift scarecrow.
GROSSMAN: Huh?
GROSSMAN: It was just some kind of...

PANEL TWO
He sees a duck decoy hanging from a tree. In its beak is a folded note, on the outside it reads "HEY!"
GROSSMAN: ...decoy?

PANEL THREE
GROSSMAN pulls the decoy down, snapping the wire. He holds the note, now unfolded in his hand.
NOTE: DUCK (A crude PUNISHER SKULL is also scrawled over the unfolded note.)

PANEL FOUR
Suddenly, a tree-branch loaded with spiked stick, swings around and gores both GROSSMAN and his buddy. Their eyes are wide open. It's obvious that they're both still alive.
SFX: SKRUNCHHH

PAGE THIRTEEN
PANEL ONE
BIRD'S EYE VIEW looking down from the branches of the trees around the duck pond. Two other members of the board are walking around with their shotguns at the ready. Suddenly, they hear GROSSMAN and his buddy's death screams.
TEXT: AAAAHHHHHHH

PANEL TWO
They start heading in that direction.
GUY #1: Was that it?
GUY #2: I didn't hear a shot...

PANEL THREE
As they make their way across the forest floor, crunching through leaves and sticks, we can see a figure following them high above in the canopy of the trees' branches.
GUY #1: It was over this way...

PANEL FOUR
It's the PUNISHER, decked out in a makeshift mud/camo-paint. (MIKE-- feel free to put a makeshift skull emblem on his chest.)

PAGE FOURTEEN
PANEL ONE
Outside the woods, the remaining board members drink thermoses of coffee on the hoods of their trendy jeeps. They hear some screams coming from the forest.
GUY #3: Something must've gone wrong...
GUY #4: You don't think...
GUY #5: Oh come, he's just one guy.

PANEL TWO
One of them opens up a trunk at pulls out a bunch of semi-automatics assault rifles.
GUY #5: Here. Now, if something's the matter, I'm sure we can sort it all out.
GUY #3: Where'd you get a hold of these?
GUY #5: Hey there perfectly legal. I use 'em only for hunting.

PANEL THREE
They walk into the forest.
GUY #4: Wonder if he's still alive.
GUY #5: Half hope he is...
SFX: CLIK-ECHH (GUY #5 locks and loads the gun)
GUY #5: It'll be a slaughter.

PANEL FOUR
Long shot of the woods. It's dead silent.

PANEL FIVE
Suddenly, there are burst of gunfire. From everywhere ducks fly out of the brush...

PANEL SIX
The ducks disperse. And silence returns.

PAGE FIFTEEN
PANEL ONE
Monday morning. FRANK, in the business suit again, stands across from NASH, the long boardroom table in between them. No other board members have shown up... as they're all dead.
FRANK: Well, I've had some time to think about it...
FRANK: My fellow board members made some convincing arguments this weekend...
FRANK: A number of power plays...
FRANK: But nothing I couldn't fill with a lot of holes.
PANEL TWO
FRANK: I've decided to follow through with my original plan of action.
NASH: No. I don't think so.

PANEL THREE
NASH pushes a button. A sliding panel opens, revealing the YAKUZA head and his shock troop.

PANEL FOUR
Reaction shot of THE PUNISHER. His face has that "I told you so look."
PUNISHER: Damn.
CAP: Knew I should've nuked this place! But no!
CAP: "Trust me." Micro said. Thanks a lot, pal!

PAGE SIXTEEN
PANEL ONE
PUNISHER jumps for cover, going straight through the meeting room window...
SFX: KASSSHHHH
CAP: Definitely the last time I take my business here!

PANEL TWO
...and into the office area in the next room. A hail of gunfire follows behind him. Office workers duck and scatter. (IMPORTANT-- in the office area we set up all of the weapons the PUNISHER will use in PAGES SEVENTEEN and EIGHTEEN. For example, one of the workers who ducks is pouring piping hot coffee into his "World's Greatest Dad" cup.).
CAP: Don't they know this is no way to treat a majority shareholder?

PANEL THREE
FRANK lands and pulls the handle out of his suitcase.
CAP: They should realize...

PANEL FOUR
The handle's a concealed weapon. When it retracts from the suitcase, we can see that there's a long blade on either side.
SFX: SHKKKT

PANEL FIVE
He sinks it deep into the first ninja to reach him. SPLUTCHHH!
CAP: ...I've got leverage.

PAGE SEVENTEEN
What follows is a whirlwind of action as the PUNISHER flows from panel to panel dispatching all the ninjas with items from around the office work area, while dodging hails of gunfire.
PANEL ONE
He pushes the next ninja aside, impaling him on a memo-spindle.
PUNISHER: Take a memo.
PUNISHER: Re: accidents in the work place.

PANEL TWO
The next ninja is shoved backwards. An open file catches him behind the knee, resulting in his head falling back into a file as well.
PUNISHER: Or on second thought...

PANEL THREE
Before the ninja can react, THE PUNISHER slams the top file shut, snapping his neck.
PUNISHER: ...let's file that for later...
SFX: RRRRUNCH

PANEL FOUR
PUNISHER then grabs a steaming mug of coffee (World's Greatest Dad), and tosses it into the second to last ninja's face!
PUNISHER: ...and break for coffee!
NINJA: EEIIIIYEEE!

PANEL FIVE
Finally the PUNISHER'S luck runs out. The last ninja (the YAKUZA head from PAGE TWO) grabs him, and...

PAGE EIGHTEEN
PANEL ONE
...throws THE PUNISHER back onto the top of an open Xerox machine, his gun rammed under the PUNISHER'S chin.

PANEL TWO
Quick cut to PUNISHER'S hand as it slams down on the Xerox machine's big, green starter button.
CAP: Wonder how they'll write this up?

PANEL THREE
"AHHH!" The ninja recoils as the light from the Xerox blinds him. PUNISHER grabs the back of his head...
CAP: Work related death...

PANEL FOUR
And repeatedly smashes it over and over into the copier's glass.
CAP: ...copycat murder...

PANEL FIVE
Last shot: A series of photo-copies of the ninja's face, getting more and bashed, and the glass getting bloodier and bloodier.
CAP: ...or multiple homicide?

PAGE NINETEEN
PANEL ONE
CUT to NASH, cowering under his desk.
PUNISHER'S VOICE: I've recently met with my financial consultant...

PANEL TWO
PUNISHER pulls him out from under the desk....
PUNISHER: He told me I have the option of throwing out the chairman of the board...

PANEL THREE
PUNISHER hefts NASH up above his head.
NASH: Wh-what are you doing?
PUNISHER: Exercising my option.

PANEL FOUR
PUNISHER tosses NASH through a window, already weakened by bullet holes.
NASH: Noo!

PANEL FIVE
PUNISHER leans out the window and watches.
CAP: That's the problem with big business.
CAP: One day you're on top of the world... Next you're at rock bottom.

PAGE TWENTY
PANEL ONE
ESTABLISHING SHOT. As police and emergency vehicles circle the building, the PUNISHER and other OMNI-MART employees exit out the main entrance. FRANK'S the calm one. The police try to hold them all back, but it's no use.

PANEL TWO
A policeman stops him.
COP: Hey Mac, what's going on? We've had reports of gunfire, ninjas, you name it!

PANEL THREE
THE PUNISHER looks nonchalant as he straightens his tie.
PUNISHER: Don't look at me...

PANEL FOUR
Briefcase in hand, PUNISHER walks off into the distance.
PUNISHER: ...I just work here.
THE END!

[Dingo]

Some of your dialogue was a bit more stilted back then, and it appears you paid a bit less attention to detail then too. Ninja's wouldn't go "hut, hut, hut" would they? Is download the correct term for a CD ROM?

Other than that it was great!

The plotting was just as good as anything you do now. It appears slightly more geared toward cool story/visual moments, but that is not necesarily a bad thing. The humour was corny, but consistently so. Consistent corn is OK.

I have to ask though, I have heard this story of the dead Punisher work before, but how the hell can you get that much inventory issues without somebody noticing? Probably a big hint why Marvel went through financial trouble.

Also, why just scrap the lot? Surely there could have been some good stuff in there. Aside from this, I mean.

[Dingo]

Oh, and, THANKS DAN!

That was really cool of you to do that for us. :D

[John Drake]

Cool, I'll get to reading it later today. That's so cool of you.

[beta-ray]

Though I agree with the critique of the minutae ("hut hut hut" mainly), I can't complain about much else. Exciting read.

[Patrick King]

That sounds like it would have been hella awesome to read in finished form. Some of those lines were really funny, in a gruesome Punisher-ish way, especially the office slaughter. Makes me want to actually draw some of it out!

[Dan Slott]

I've been getting some questions about the differences between PLOT and SCRIPT. That's fair. The easiest answer: A plot describes everything that happens in the story-- everything the artist needs to draw. A script features all the dialogue and text that goes into a story-- everything the letterer needs to letter.

Writing plot then script is usually referred to as "Marvel Style"-- though that's probably more true of the way things were done back in the 60', 70's, and 80's. Nowadays, everyone writes full script... except for dinosaurs like myself. :D

Why do I work this way? I think you get a better finished product-- that's just my personal take. A plot, imo, gives an artist more freedom to express themselves. And a script that's done after the art's in can take different beats into account-- things that the artist has brought to the piece-- expressions on characters faces, reaction shots, and so on.

So, for the curious among you, here's the plot and the script for my 5 page backup from BATMAN ADVENTURES #12...

BATMAN ADVENTURES #12
"The Hidden Display"
(Vouchered as "The Duo Dynamic")
PLOT for 5pgs.
DAN SLOTT
12/5/03
1st REVISION
12/11/03

Rick,
The first two and a half pages of this story take place during the time when DICK GRAYSON had JUST become ROBIN. In DC Animated continuity this would set the story a few months AFTER the flashback sequence in the BTAS episodes "ROBIN'S RECKONING Pt.1 & Pt.2". Please refer to these episodes for the style guides for YOUNG DICK GRAYSON, ALFRED, and BATMAN (no bat frills on the gloves, no yellow oval, and a very stylized bat emblem--different from the one we're currently using). If you don't have a copy, I've got them on tape.
These episodes never establish ROBIN'S first costume or the Batmobile of that era. So let's have fun! I say we go for the CLASSIC ROBIN visual-- a completely yellow cape, green trunks, and green pixie boots. And how about the ol' big-finned, bat-headed Batmobile from the Dick Sprang era? Wouldn't that be a kick? (For the sake of DC Animated continuity buffs, we could always point out that THAT version of the Batmobile can be seen-- retired in the Batcave during one of the BATMAN BEYOND episodes. But now I'm just showing off my inner-geek. And for that, I'm very sorry.)

PAGE ONE
PANEL ONE (please leave room in the upper left for captions)
In voice over, DICK tells the reader about one of his earliest adventures as ROBIN. He and BATMAN had just defeated a mad scientist's GIANT ROBOT DINOSAUR. Robin had been a good soldier through out the entire ordeal, following Batman's lead the entire time. But with the case drawing to a close and the danger clearly over, he broke rank and made a request:
"Can we keep it?" the Boy Wonder asked Batman while standing on top of the toppled (and still smoking) dino-bot.

PANEL TWO
"No." BATMAN tells him, and motions for him to get into the BATMOBILE.
"We could keep it in the cave--" ROBIN protests.
"Transporting something that large would draw undo attention and jeopardize our secret identities."
"But--"
"We'll talk about it at home."

PANEL THREE
ROBIN sits in the BATMOBILE as BATMAN closes the passenger side door, locking him in. From ROBIN'S P.O.V. we can see his own reflection in the passenger side window. He's feeling a little down.
In a caption box, DICK tells us that they never did talk about it at home. That's just something grown ups say.

PANEL FOUR
SILENT PANEL. The BATMOBILE drives away from the toppled dinosaur and away from the readers. In the rear window, ROBIN looks back longingly at the fallen robot.
Please leave room for the title, "THE HIDDEN DISPLAY," and the credits.

PAGE TWO
PANEL ONE
LATER in the DINING ROOM of WAYNE MANOR...
DICK gets up from the table and asks if he can be excused. The food on his plate is mostly uneaten.
BRUCE reminds him that he's going to start training him in the art of Tae Kwan Do first thing in the morning.
ALFRED watches on.

PANEL TWO
SILENT PANEL as ALFRED watches DICK leave the room.

PANEL THREE
ALFRED has a word with BRUCE. He was cleaning MASTER DICK'S room and he noticed that all of his circus posters had been removed.
BRUCE tells him that it was decided that when DICK became ROBIN it would be in their best interest that people weren't reminded that BRUCE WAYNE'S ward was an accomplished acrobat.

PANEL FOUR
ALFRED tells BRUCE that seems quite a big sacrifice. BRUCE reminds ALFRED that it was no more a sacrifice than he made when he was DICK'S age. In order to become BATMAN, BRUCE WAYNE couldn't accept trophies, couldn't let the world know of his accomplishments.

PANEL FIVE
Outside the dining room, DICK has suspended himself off the railings of an overhead balcony-- as if he were on a trapeze. He eavesdrops on the two adults, listening through the crack over the dining room door.
From inside we hear ALFRED tell BRUCE that DICK is different. He grew up in a world of spotlights and applause.
"He's not you, sir" ALFRED tells him, "He needs to shine."

PANEL SIX
Back inside the dining room, ALFRED wraps up his case.
"And maybe," ALFRED tells BRUCE, "if he can not share his accomplishments with the world, maybe it would be enough if he shared them with us."

PAGE THREE
PANEL ONE
SILENT PANEL, In his ROBIN costume, DICK starts heading down the stairs of the BATCAVE.
In a caption box, DICK tells us that they never did talk about the DINOSAUR again...

PANEL TWO
...it was just there the next morning. Like magic. Like finding a present on Christmas morning.
To his shock ROBIN looks up to see THE GIANT ROBOT DINOSAUR standing there. (RICK, you don't have to show us the WHOLE DINOSAUR in this panel, just one of its arms-- or its lower jaw-- poking into frame.)
BATMAN is there. He tells ROBIN he's late. They should get started.

PANELS THREE, FOUR, and FIVE
Rick, all three of these panels link up to become a vista of the TROPHY AREA of the BATCAVE, but each panel progresses in time. As the panels progress, DICK narrates how over the years they continued to collect the trophies. And memories.
In PANEL THREE, BATMAN begins to train YOUNG DICK GRAYSON/ROBIN in the art of Tae Kwan Do. Behind them the TROPHY AREA of the BATCAVE is completely barren, except for the GIANT ROBOT DINOSAUR.
In PANEL FOUR, BATMAN and ROBIN (circa BATMAN AND ROBIN ADVENTURES-- BATS w/ yellow oval and ROBIN in his college years) continue to spar. Behind them we can see THE GIANT PENNY and THE GIANT PLAYING CARD.
In PANEL FIVE, modern day BATGIRL and ROBIN are sparring. Behind them we can see even more trophies AND the original ROBIN COSTUME in a display case. ALFRED is there, he tells BATGIRL and ROBIN that they'll have to wrap things up if they don't want to miss saying goodbye to Master Dick.

PAGE FOUR
PANEL ONE
In caption boxes, DICK tells us that eventually a day came when he had to move on from GOTHAM, stop living in BATMAN'S shadow, and set up shop in his own city.
We cut to TIM, BARBARA, and ALFRED seeing DICK off at the BUS STATION. A bus is nearby, we can read the name "BLUDHAVEN" in its destination marker above its windscreen. DICK has a duffel bag thrown over his shoulder.

PANEL TWO
ALFRED puts a hand on DICK'S shoulder. He apologizes for MASTER BRUCE not being there.
"I figured as much," DICK tells him, "Someone has to watch over the city tonight."
"I knew you would understand," ALFRED tells him, "Take care, boy. Take care."

PANEL THREE
In a MATCH SHOT of PAGE ONE/PANEL THREE, DICK rides inside the bus. His despondent face is reflected in the glass.

PANEL FOUR
CUT to the end of DICK'S first big adventure in BLUDHAVEN as NIGHTWING.
He's just captured KILLER MOTH (a bat-villain we've yet to see in the Adventures verse). Mere seconds ago NIGHTWING trapped KILLER MOTH with his own cocoon gun. The MOTH is stuck to one of the banners on top of the BLUDHAVEN MUSEUM OF HISTORY.
In one hand NIGHTWING twirls the cocoon gun, like a wild-west cowboy. In his other hand he holds some rolled up tapestries. He tells KILLER MOTH that the museum will be happy to know that their silk tapestries are safe.

PANEL FIVE
As NIGHTWING glides away, the trussed up KILLER MOTH yells after him. He wants to know where NIGHTWING'S taking his cocoon gun! That thing cost him two grand to build!

PAGE FIVE
PANEL ONE
With the cocoon gun still in hand, NIGHTWING glides to his new HQ. It's the exact OPPOSITE of the BATCAVE. Where THAT was a sunken underground HQ, THIS is something way above ground, looking out over the city-- NIGHTWING'S AERIE.
What this is exactly is up to you, Rick. But it should work within the confines of Ty's lead story. Here's a few suggestions/ideas: an old water tower, a stilt house hanging off the side of a mountain, an observation deck from a rundown carnival.

PANEL TWO
NIGHTWING opens a hatch on the roof of his new HQ and lowers himself inside.

PANEL THREE
To his surprise THE GIANT DINOSAUR is there in the middle of his HQ. There's a note attached to it-- a note signed with a "bat."

PANEL FOUR
We see a close up of the note in NIGHTWING'S hands. The note tells him that this is just to get him started. Batman's keeping the rest of the trophies, he'll have to get some more of his own.

PANEL FIVE
CLOSE UP on a bemused NIGHTWING brandishing the cocoon gun.
"Way ahead of you, Bruce," he says aloud. And then pauses to wonder-- just how did Batman get that dinosaur all the way up HERE?!
THE END, CHUM.

BATMAN ADVENTURES #12
"The Hidden Display"
(Vouchered as "The Duo Dynamic")
SCRIPT for 5pgs.
DAN SLOTT
12/31/03

PAGE ONE
PANEL ONE
1 DICK/CAP: It was one of my first outings as Robin, the Boy Wonder.
2 DICK/CAP: Batman and I had just defeated a Robot Dinosaur, and there was only one thought on my mind...
3 ROBIN: Can we keep it?
4 BATMAN: NO.

PANEL TWO
5 ROBIN: C'mon, it'd be GREAT. We could keep it in the cave and--
6 BATMAN: I said "NO." Transporting something that large would risk undo attention.
7 BATMAN: To the Batmobile. Now.

PANEL THREE
8 ROBIN: But--
9 BATMAN: We'll talk about it at HOME.

PANEL FOUR
10 TITLE: THE HIDDEN DISPLAY
11 CREDITS

PAGE TWO
PANEL ONE
1 DICK/CAP: We never did talk about it at home. That's just something grown ups say.
2 DICK: May I be excused?
3 BRUCE: All right. But straight to bed.
4 BRUCE: Tomorrow we begin your training in Tae Kwan Do.

PANEL TWO
(Please place this balloon in the lower part of the panel).
5 ALFRED: May I have a word with you, sir?

PANEL THREE
6 ALFRED: While cleaning Master Dick's room, I noticed that all of his Circus Posters had been removed.
7 BRUCE: Yes, Alfred. When he decided to become Robin...

PANEL FOUR
8 BRUCE: ...we agreed it would best not to REMIND people that Bruce Wayne's ward was a trained acrobat.
9 ALFRED: Understandable. But still a LARGE sacrifice none the less.
10 BRUCE: No more than I made when I was Dick's age.

PANEL FIVE
11 ALFRED: I remember. In order to maintain your "secret life," you NEVER kept any trophies. Never let others know of your achievements.
12 ALFRED: But Master Dick is DIFFERENT, sir. He grew up in the spotlight of the center ring.
13 ALFRED: He's not you, sir. He needs to SHINE. And maybe...

PANEL SIX
14 ALFRED: If he can no longer share his accomplishments with the WORLD...
15 ALFRED: ...maybe it would be enough if he shared them with US.


PAGE THREE
PANEL ONE
1 DICK/CAP: We never did speak of the Robot Dinosaur again.

PANEL TWO
2 DICK/CAP: We didn't have to.

PANEL THREE
3 ROBIN: Holy--
4 DICK/CAP: It was just there the next morning. Like magic. Like finding a present under the tree on Christmas morning.
5 BATMAN: You're late. Let's get started. We'll begin with defensive postures.
6 BATMAN: Attack me.

PANEL FOUR
7 DICK/CAP: We always referred to that part of the cave as the Trophy Room.
8 DICK/CAP: But the truth of it was--
9 DICK/CAP: --it was MY Trophy Room.

PANEL FIVE
10 DICK/CAP: At first. Over the years, it became a testament to our victories.

PANEL SIX
11 DICK/CAP: And to our legacy.
12 ALFRED: Master Tim, Miss Gordon. It's time.

PAGE FOUR
PANEL ONE
1 SIGN: TRANSIT AUTHORITY
2 SIGN ON SIDE OF BUS: GOTHAM BUS LINES ("BUS" on the raised door, "GOTHAM" partly obscured).
3 SIGN ON FRONT OF BUS: BLUDHAVEN
4 ALFRED: Are you sure about this, Master Dick? Bludhaven?
5 DICK: I think Gotham's in safe hands. We're practically tripping over each other as it is.
6 DICK: Time I found my own place and get out from under Bruce's shadow.
7 DICK: Speaking of which...

PANEL TWO
7 AFLRED: I'm sure he wishes he could be here but--
8 DICK: Someone has to watch over the city, right?
9 ALFRED: I knew you would understand. Take care, boy.

PANEL THREE
SILENT

PANEL FOUR
10 DICK/CAP: Doesn't take long. First night on the town and I've already nabbed my first bad guy...
11 NIGHTWING: Don't worry, Killer Moth, I'll make sure the museum gets their silk tapestries back.
12 NIGHTWING: Nice web-shooter, by the way.

PANEL FIVE
13 KILLER MOTH: Hey! Where are you going with THAT? That cocoon-gun cost me two grand to build!
14 KILLER MOTH: Stop! Thief!
15 NIGHTWING: Not one for irony, are you?

PAGE FIVE
PANEL ONE
1 DICK/CAP: Yeah, this is going to work out just fine.
2 DICK/CAP: New city.

PANEL TWO
3 DICK/CAP: Swanky new headquarters.
4 DICK/CAP: And with my new trophy, I'm well on my way to--

PANEL THREE
5 NIGHTWING: Holy--

PANEL FOUR
6 NOTE: This will get you started.

PANEL FIVE
7 NIGHTWING: Ha.
8 DICK/CAP: So how DID he get it up here? Best not to ask.
9 DICK/CAP: Chalk it up to magic.
10 SIGN: END

[Dingo]

I've been getting some questions about the differences between PLOT and SCRIPT. That's fair. The easiest answer: A plot describes everything that happens in the story-- everything the artist needs to draw. A script features all the dialogue and text that goes into a story-- everything the letterer needs to letter.

Writing plot then script is usually referred to as "Marvel Style"-- though that's probably more true of the way things were done back in the 60', 70's, and 80's. Nowadays, everyone writes full script... except for dinosaurs like myself. :D


Dinosaur or not, I bet you are the only one that embelishes them with colour coding.
Also, is 'letter' a verb?

[killerbass]

Also, is 'letter' a verb?

It is in the dictionary that comes with Mac OS X 10.4...

verb 1 [ trans. ] inscribe letters or writing on : her name was lettered in gold. � classify with letters : he numbered and lettered the paragraphs. 2 [ intrans. ] informal be given a school or college initial as a mark of proficiency in sports : juniors who lettered in soccer, basketball or softball.

[Miss Kitty Fantastico]

I use 'letter' as a verb, but only in relation to comics. After all, they have letterers - clearly, these are people who letter :lol:

I had a hoot reading the Punisher script - mainly from the hilarity of a bunch of pampered executives trying to take out Frank Castle on a duck hunt. A lot of the laughs were from the very clear visuals I had of the panels, so that was neat writing - sight gags without sight. And even if the photocopier gag had since been done elsewhere (though I must have missed it), it was still awesome.

Ah, thinking back to the days when 64 meg was a lot of data...

[Dan Slott]

Okay... I've received some requests to show more stuff from the "dead pile". I guess it's inherently cooler to see behind-the-scenes stuff that didn't come about. :-?

One of the biggest questions you get time-and-time again as a writer is "Where do you get your ideas?" And there's really no way to answer that...

But what I can show you is how an idea LOOKS closer to the beginning of the process:


THE SPRINGBOARD

I can't even begin to tell you how many of these things I've written! When you're just starting out as a comic book writer-- expect to type out a ba-zillion of these! Your springboard is like a mini-movie treatment. It should tell the editor how you're getting into the story, the big idea, and how you're getting out. It should "wow" them, do it quickly, and above all-- be lean!

For the best results, I'd say you should have anywhere from three to five springs on a page. And DON'T give the editor more than TWO PAGES. Here's why: you might not get a chance to be there to verbally pitch/sell your story and...

NOTHING WILL KILL YOUR PITCH FASTER THAN A STAPLE

If you keep coming to this board and reading my advice to new writers, trust me, you'll hear me say this one OVER and OVER again. Here, let's do it one more time for good measure:

NOTHING WILL KILL YOUR PITCH FASTER THAN A STAPLE

This is 17 years of experience talking to you, boiled down into a simple phrase. Seriously! And here's what it means...

An editor's time is VALUABLE! They've got rollodexes FILLED-TO-BURSTING with numbers of talented, successful, and proven writers that they can call. So... THEY DON'T NEED YOU. THEY CERTAINLY DON'T NEED YOUR PITCH. And, no matter how much passion, talent, or years you've dedicated to reading-- and wanting to WRITE-- comics, they are under NO OBLIGATION to spend ONE MINUTE of their time with you.

(I don't mean to scare you, but that's the God's honest truth.)

So here's the deal... If you are EVER lucky enough to get a chance to pitch something, or LEAVE something with an editor, DON'T make it more than two pages long. Editor's just don't have the time to read something longer than that-- they've got jobs to do. I'm not kidding! Give an editor your super-long proposal-- and the second you're out of sight-- it's going right in the trash. YOU have to make THEIR job easier. Get your idea to them in a quick, easy-to-read way. One page. Two pages max. I'm not joking here. Say it with me:

NOTHING WILL KILL YOUR PITCH FASTER THAN A STAPLE

Really, if you're able to get the "cool factor" of your idea across, DON'T WORRY if your pitch is TOO SHORT. That's a GOOD THING! If the editor would like to see more of it-- all of your contact information (phone, e-mail, etc.) is on your pitch-- THEY will call YOU. Honest!

If you want, we can talk more about pitches and springs later. (In the meantime, here's two more helpful pieces of advice: DON'T INCLUDE ARTWORK WITH YOUR PITCH. And two... FANCY BINDERS AND FOLDERS WORK AGAINST YOU, NOT FOR YOU. No fooling. These are novice mistakes. They're done ALL the time. Trust me, trust me, trust me-- don't do them!)

Remember: All this is being said out of love-- and I'm telling you this to HELP you! :) Really!

Whew! So... In a very longwinded way I've told you to be quick and to the point. ;) But here's the thing, YOU'RE an aspiring writer. You've got all the time in the world. :O
Just kiddin'...

So let's get back to the subject at hand:


THE SPRINGBOARD

Besides being brief, having a good in, a good idea, and a good out-- what should a springboard do? A springboard should tell a story that's endemic to the property. A good Superman story should be just that-- a good Superman story. If you can take Superman out of your story and replace him with Wonder Woman, Daredevil, or Sonic the Hedgehog-- then it's NOT a good Superman story.

That's the basic rule. Your springboard should be endemic to the property. Study the property/character you want to write about. Understand their defining characteristics, tropes, and set up. And make them central to the story you wish to tell.

My last basic rule for pitching springboards: only submit ideas you want to write. I KNOW that sounds obvious-- but trust me, it's important. I know many a writer who's tried to dazzle an editor with how MANY ideas that they can come up with. And, more often than not, they throw one or two extra springboards into their pitch JUST to prove that. And, every time, like clockwork, THOSE are the pitches that the editor likes. So here you have all of these GREAT ideas that you've labored over-- and the editor asks you to develop the ones that you've tacked on at the last minute. AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH! Don't fall into that trap! ONLY pitch the stuff you want to write!

Double whew!

And as Sean Connery said in THE UNTOUCHABLES, "Here endeth the lesson." :)

So... Let's take a look at some of MY springboards from "the dead pile". These are three (of six) springs I submitted to the BATMAN BEYOND office. The remaining three have some cool bits in them that I can probably pick at for other projects. These three, however, are dead. Mainly because they are so endemic to the property, that they can't be reused somewhere else. (See? I was doing my job with at least 3 of 'em!).

Anyway, here they are... (cue the BATMAN BEYOND theme music).

BATMAN BEYOND
SPRINGBOARDS
DAN SLOTT
8/25/99

"QUALITY TIME"
When he was Batman, Bruce Wayne could drop anything at a moment�s notice and jet around the globe to stop villains like Ras Al Ghul and Kyodai Ken. Terry McGinnis, on the other hand, has a life full of ongoing obligations and responsibilities-- to his family, girlfriend, and school. So when Kobra, is getting ready to launch an evil plot from Monte Carlo-- Bruce expects Terry to drop everything and go after him.
The timing couldn't be worse. Terry's family is ready to go off on their big, yearly vacation. Every summer they go to a cabin in the woods, and this year the trip has extra special meaning, because this is the first time they'll be going without Terry's late father. Bruce's solution is to offer to take the entire family along to Monte Carlo. He rationalizes that it will be a luxurious getaway in an exotic locale and much better than a run-of-the-mill camping trip.
As the story progresses, we see that Terry is working extra hard to defeat Kobra-- But he's not trying to outrun the doomsday clock on Kobra's master plan, he's working on a time-frame a whole 14 hours earlier. If he can wrap this adventure up in half the time-- the entire family can still make it back in time to go the cabin in the woods...
Throughout the story, we juxtapose the three main characters and their insatiable drives: Kobra and his desire to take over the world, Bruce and his desire to stop him, and Terry and his desire to do right by his loved ones. By the story's end, Bruce sees in Kobra a mirror image of his own drive-- he sees the wasted life, the loneliness, of the relentless quest. And in Terry he sees the things he either sacrificed or had taken from him-- the richness and love of being part of a family. These are all the things that "Batman" fights for-- and here, Bruce has been asking Terry to push them aside.
On the last page, having pulled off the impossible and stopped Kobra WAYYYY ahead of schedule, we see Terry, his mom, and his brother toasting marshmallows in a campfire by the cabin. As we close, we pan around to see that Bruce is there with them-- invited to be part of their family too.

"JOKING HAZARD"
DANA has been getting more and more frustrated with her and Terry's relationship. She's sure that he can't possibly be spending ALL of the time he has "running errands" for MR. WAYNE....
As the days go by, DANA starts to notice that TERRY is acting more irritably than usual, he's been accumulating bruises, nicks, and cuts, and when she finds a strange costume in his bag she finally figures out his secret... Terry's joined the JOKERZ!
A Fagin-like supervillain, THE BUZZARD, has been rounding up THE JOKERZ to use as his muscle. To get to him, TERRY had to go undercover to get into the JOKERZ gang. But now that DANA has discovered half of his secret life, how does he allay her fears without letting her know that he's BATMAN?

"LIVING VICARIOUSLY"
THE BUZZARD passes on his mantle and hi-tech battlesuit to his wayward son, BUZZBOMB. Now in parallel and juxtaposing scenes, we get to compare and contrast the two different mentor/student relationships of THE BUZZARD & BUZZBOMB and BRUCE WAYNE & BATMAN BEYOND. One group out to commit crimes, the other to take them down!
In the climatic final battle, something bizarre happens as the com-link frequencies cross connect and BRUCE ends up on BUZZBOMB�S line and TERRY winds up hearing THE BUZZARD�S advice.

[Edward J. Cunningham]

NOTHING WILL KILL YOUR PITCH FASTER THAN A STAPLE

I'll forward your advice to Manny Acta and his pitching coach Randy St. Claire. The Nats are sure to beat out the Mets and win the division now! Thanks a lot!!!

[beta-ray]

Dinosaur or not, I bet you are the only one that embelishes them with colour coding.
Also, is 'letter' a verb?

It's a command.

"Letter go you creep!"

:razz:

I am not sure if in the popular language it's a verb, but in art and especially comics, it is.

[Dan Slott]

Hi.
I'm super busy working on Avengers: The Initiative stuff AND fighting off a cold, so I can't really post that much. However...

Got a quick request for the Easter Eggs section-- and it's a pretty easy one. A poster wanted to see one of my SHE-HULK plots. So here's the plot for SHE-HULK Vol.1 #2. As with all plots, if you compare this with the finished work, you'll notice a change here-or-there as the artist gets to put their own personal touches to the story. In the case of SHE-HULK #2, I think all of Juan's choices helped to make this a BETTER story. ESPECIALLY his choice to put Awesome Andy in a shirt and tie! More than ANYTHING-- how Juan drew Andy, his clothes, his body language-- that made ANDY the loveable character he is today!

Okay... Gotta get back to work!
ttyl
Dan

SHE-HULK #2
�CLASS ACTION COMICS�
PLOT for 22 pgs.
DAN SLOTT
1/20/04
1st REVISION
1/21/04

REFERENCE for JUAN
CHARACTERS:
THE SCARLET WITCH (current costume)
THE WASP (current costume)
ATLANTEANS (blue skin, pointy ears)
MOLE MAN�S SUBTERRANEAN SLAVE RACE (the little yellow guys)
RED RAVEN�S RACE OF BIRD MEN (winged warriors)
DOCTOR STRANGE (in full costume and with THE EYE OF AGAMOTTO)
THE MAD THINKER�S AWESOME ANDROID
WARBIRD (in her �sexier� costume�it�s for a dream sequence)
THE BLACK WIDOW (in her current costume)

PLACES AND THINGS:
The George Perez style gate that�s in front of AVENGER�S MANSION
The ROXXON company logo
The last page and panel of SAVAGE SHE-HULK #1
Picture and/or drawing of a comic book �long box�

NEW CHARACTERS & THINGS that JUAN gets to design and create:
CHARACTERS:
DITTO (new recurring character)
STU THE INTERN (new recurring character)
And any additional law office staff
DANGER MAN (and his secret identity: DAN JERMAIN)
DANGER MAN�S WIFE
DANGER MAN�S TEENAGE DAUGHTER

PLACES AND THINGS:
THE TIMELY PLAZA BUILDING
THE GOODMAN, LEIBER, KURTZBERG, & HOLLIWAY OFFICES (NORMAL)
And THE GLK&H OFFICES for SUPERHUMAN LAW (A VERY CRAZY PLACE)
DANGER MAN�S HOUSE and SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD IN LONG ISLAND, NY.

TEXT PAGE
If we can deviate from the standard Marvel-style text page, for this issue I�d like to show two documents that are on HOLDEN HOLLIWAY�S desk.

The first would be an in-house newsletter from the law firm of GOODMAN, LEIBER, KURTZBERG, & HOLLIWAY.
Under their logo/masthead (that we�ll also get to see on PAGE 3), there is a quick bulletin explaining how the law firm is branching out to cover all aspects of SUPERHUMAN LAW. Under this blurb, we see head shots and bios for our four main characters:

HOLDEN HOLLIWAY: the respected senior partner, a legend in the legal world.
MALLORY BOOK: a fast-rising star who, though only five years out of law school, has already tried (and won) many of her high profile cases.
AUGUSTUS �PUG� PUGLIESE: a self-made man who put himself through law school by working nights as a bouncer in the �less savory� parts of town.

And, finally, GLK&H is proud to announce their newest member JENNIFER WALTERS, who has served as a state prosecutor on two coasts, and has also served as legal consultant for THE AVENGERS, FANTASTIC FOUR, and ORACLE INC. In a quick side-note (in very small print) it also briefly mentions that in her spare time JEN is also the SHE-HULK.

The second document would fall across the newsletter. It�s a psyche-profile from the desk of DR. LEONARD SAMSON. Attached to the profile by a paperclip, we can see a color photo of the SHE-HULK hamming it up, playfully flexing her muscles for the camera.
In the psyche profile, DOC SAMSON describes JEN�S dual nature�how as SHE-HULK she�s more outgoing and impulsive, and as JEN she�s more reserved and reigned in.

So, briefly, the actual ART that we would need for this page would be:
Individual head shots of HOLLIWAY, MALLORY, PUG, and JENNIFER.
And the �photo� of SHE-HULK flexing� that�s been attached to a larger piece of paper by a paperclip.

PAGE 1
PANEL ONE (SMALL PANEL)
MORNING. CUT to the standard establishing shot of AVENGERS MANSION (the one where we show a sliver of the mansion behind the large, main security gate that GEORGE PEREZ designed). JUAN, we�ll get you ref. on this.

PANEL TWO
Inside SHE-HULK�S quarters, all of SHE-HULK�S belongings are boxed up, ready for her eventual move out of the mansion. And all of her photos are off the walls.
SHE-HULK (in her uniform�the one-piece purple bathing suit, with the thick white stripe down the center) is using her super-strength to easily move MANY heavy boxes.
Nearby, THE WASP and SCARLET WITCH (who are both in costume) tell her to put that stuff down. They says she can finish packing later, now it�s time to get her ready for her first day of work at her new job!

PANEL THREE
The WASP and SCARLET WITCH pull out some possible outfits for her �neither of which will fit until SHE-HULK changes back into JEN WALTERS.
Reluctantly, SHE-HULK puts the boxes down�

PANEL FOUR
A pouting SHE-HULK gives in and transforms back into JEN. She thinks all of this is stupid. There�s NOTHING she can do as JEN that she can�t do as SHE-HULK.

PAGE 2
PANEL ONE
As her two girlfriends help her accessorize, JEN comments that it�s also tactically unwise. People at large KNOW that �Jen Walters� is the SHE-HULK.
JANET (THE WASP) points out that in Manhattan, there are twelve Jennifer Walters in the phone book.
WANDA (THE SCARLET WITCH) points out that there are two Wanda Maximoffs. Sometimes they get each other�s calls. She asks THE WASP how many Janet VanDyne�s there are.
�Darling,� THE WASP replies, �There is only ever ONE Janet VanDyne.�

PANEL TWO
JEN says she�ll be vulnerable to super-villains! Any one of She-Hulk�s Rogues Gallery could come after her!
THE WASP laughs, �The She-Hulk Rogues Gallery? Since when did you have a Rogues Gallery?�
�Well�� JEN tells her while counting on one hand, �There�s Titania, Ultima, The Man-Elephant� Um� Titania��
THE WASP points out that she already said TITANIA.

PANEL THREE
The SCARLET WITCH performs one of her hex-spells. JEN is covered with a weird glow.
Nervously, JEN asks THE SCARLET WITCH what she just did.
THE SCARLET WITCH tells JEN that she just cast her in a cloaking spell. Now none of her enemies will know who she is in this form.

PANEL FOUR
CLOSE UP ON JEN. She�s now run out of excuses for why she should STAY as the SHE-HULK.
�Thanks,� she says sarcastically.

PANEL FIVE
JEN heads out of the gates of AVENGERS MANSION. In her arms she carries a box of her personal possessions for her new office. (For later on, it�s important that the box has no top. In another panel we�ll be able to see that JEN has some of the photos�from the previous issue�inside.)
THE SCARLET WITCH and THE WASP wave to JEN as she slumps away.
THE SCARLET WITCH wishes her well on her first day of work.
THE WASP whispers to the SCARLET WITCH that THAT�S the first time she�s ever seen a woman be upset that she�s gone down to a size four.

PAGE 3
PANEL ONE
LATER on the crowded BUS to work, JEN is the shortest person there, pressed up against other peoples� backs and chests.
She HATES being JEN WALTERS. As SHE-HULK she can lift ten tons, but as JEN, even this stupid little box that she�s carrying is too heavy!
And her clothes! She hasn�t had to wear these things in years! They still smell like mothballs from the storage closet!

PANEL TWO
Finally, JEN arrives at her new office building, TIMELY PLAZA. It�s an impressive corporate tower (JUAN, this is new�you get to design it. Have fun with it and make it distinctive.)

PANEL THREE
JEN gets out of an elevator, and sees a normal office environment. A secretary sits at the main reception desk. Behind her is a marble wall with the company masthead (GOODMAN, LEIBER, KURTZBERG, & HOLLIWAY) written out in large gold-plated letters.

PANEL FOUR
JEN puts her box of belongings down on the desk. The secretary can clearly see one of the framed photos inside�the one of SHE-HULK and SPIDER-MAN at the bar (from ISSUE #1, PAGE 3).
JEN introduces herself, she�s a new lawyer here at the firm�
Seeing the photo, the secretary looks at JEN with a snooty look of disgust. �Oh,� she says, �You�re one of THEM. You don�t work on THIS floor. YOU need to go to 39. I�ll tell Mr. Holliway you�ll be DOWN shortly.�

PANEL FIVE
JEN comes out on the 39th floor where she�s greeted by HOLDEN HOLLIWAY. He doesn�t seem as stiff and poised as he did last issue. In fact, he seems very playful and silly. He�s happy to see JEN and can�t wait to give her a tour of the place.

PAGE 4
PANEL ONE
As he walks JEN to the reception area, we can see that HOLLIWAY�S chewing bubblegum and is blowing a big pink bubble with it.
In the main reception area, we can see WINGED PEOPLE from RED RAVEN�S CITY, BLUE-SKINNED ATLANTEANS (undersea people with bowls of water over their heads), and some of MOLEMAN�S subterranean servants (little yellow men who skitter about).
JUAN, we�ll get you ref. on all these guys.
JEN is shocked. She wasn�t expecting anything like this.

PANEL TWO (REALLY BIG PANEL)
HOLLIWAY walks JEN further into the offices, passing a row of conference rooms. He explains that GLK&H is currently representing many territorial disputes. Undersea rights with the Atlanteans, mining rights with some of the subterranean races, and air-space fly zones with some of Red Raven�s people.
As they walk past, we can see that EACH conference room (behind large glass windows) has been specially designed for each client�s needs:
The Atlanteans� conference room is filled with seawater. There, they converse with GLK&H lawyers who are wearing diving helmets.
The Subterranean men are in a conference room that is in complete darkness. The window to the room (and the lawyers inside) use special night-vision technology.
And the final conference room is like an aviary, with birdmen flapping around, and lawyers keeping pace with jetpacks.

PANEL THREE
JEN is astounded and a little disturbed.
�I thought I was going to work at GLK&H! One of the most respected law firms in the city!� she stammers to HOLLIWAY, �This place is a� CIRCUS!�
�We practice law here.� HOLLIWAY tells her while blowing a bubble.
�With jetpacks?!� JEN replies.

PANEL FOUR
HOLLIWAY gestures to a NORMAL conference room. He tells JEN that they also deal in straightforward cases.
Inside the conference room we can see DOCTOR STRANGE and a plain-clothes detective from the NYPD (a police officer who�s in a suit and tie, and wears his badge on his jacket pocket).
They�re sitting across the table from MALLORY BOOK and her client.
(JUAN, if you don�t know who DOCTOR STRANGE is, we�ll get you ref.)

PAGE 5
PANEL ONE
JEN points out that THAT�S DOCTOR STRANGE, MASTER OF THE MYSTIC ARTS in there!
�So it is,� says HOLLIWAY as if this kind of thing happens every day, �C�mon, there�s still a lot left on the tour.�

PANEL TWO
REVERSE ANGLE on the conference room as JEN and HOLLIWAY move on. Inside the conference room, MALLORY BOOK is handing the police detective a legal document.
MALLORY says that her client may have stolen the Wand of Watomb, but when police questioned him, he was still under the influence�

PANEL THREE
�of DOCTOR STRANGE�S magic charm, THE EYE OF AGAMOTTO.
CLOSE UP on DOCTOR STRANGE as he points to the magic medallion on his chest. DOC doesn�t see what the problem is. THE EYE OF AGAMOTTO only reveals TRUTH. How can anyone argue against TRUTH?

PANEL FOUR
MALLORY explains that it violated her client�s civil liberties. She�s already been in contact with the DA�s office and, upon the return of the Wand of Watomb, all charges have been dropped.
The police detective tells DOC STRANGE that she�s right. The crook is free to go.

PANEL FIVE
As the detective and the crook (MALLORY�S client) depart, MALLORY and DOCTOR STRANGE have words with each other.
MALLORY tells STRANGE that she�s sorry. She�s just doing her job.
STRANGE tells her that it�s okay. The crook will still answer for his crimes. In fact, eight days from now he�ll get hit by a bus while driving a getaway car. Even though he�s predicting the future, DOC talks about it like he�s talking about the weather.

PANEL SIX
This kind of creeps MALLORY out.
DOCTOR STRANGE goes on to say that his REAL reason for being there is to see HER in action�how adeptly she handles the laws of man.
�Ms. Mallory Book,� he tells her, �I have a client I wish to refer to you.�
(Of course, this is the set up for next month�s scintillating tale�)

PAGE 6
PANEL ONE
Meanwhile, JEN (who�s still carrying her box) and HOLLIWAY continue their tour. They turn around a corner and to JEN�s surprise, they run into�

PANEL TWO
THE MAD THINKER�S AWESOME ANDROID! (JUAN, this is a big, gray, lumpy GIANT with a rectangular block for a head. We�ll get you ref.)
He has a chalkboard hanging around his neck by some rope�along with a piece of chalk on a string. The current message on his chalkboard is �Hello.�
Since he has no pockets, he�s got some kind of carrying case (JUAN, this could be a backpack, fanny pack, or tool belt. It�s up to you.).
JEN is stunned. �That�s the Mad Thinker�s Awesome Android!� she blurts out.

PANEL THREE
JEN is ready to change into SHE-HULK, when HOLLIWAY tells her to calm down. He was one of their clients! Since his last adventure, he gained sentience. GLK&H has helped him get emancipated from the THINKER, and even gain American citizenship.

PANEL FOUR
HOLLIWAY goes on to explain that they�ve even given him gainful employment here at GLK&H. He does gofer work and heavy lifting.
In the background, PUG approaches the AWESOME ANDROID and puts in an order for the local coffeehouse.
�Awesome Andy,� he says, �We need two tall lattes, a mocha frap, and a cinnamon bun. Need me to write that down, big guy?�

PANEL FIVE
AWESOME ANDY gives a �thumbs up.� He�s got it.
�Awesome,� PUG tells him, �Go see Flo for some petty cash. And remember to bring back a receipt, okay?�

PAGE 7
PANEL ONE
JEN watches as AWESOME ANDY heads off.
�Unbelievable,� she mutters.
�Bringing wayward clients on staff is rare here�� HOLLIWAY tells her.
�But we have been know to do it on occasion,� says a voice from off panel.

PANEL TWO
A SECOND HOLDEN HOLLIWAY walks in from off panel. THIS one is the reserved and stoic HOLDEN HOLLIWAY we met last issue�the REAL HOLLIWAY.
The REAL HOLDEN HOLLIWAY apologizes for being late. JEN is confused. The OTHER HOLDEN HOLLIWAY is blowing a bubble with his bubblegum.

PANEL THREE
The bubblegum blowing HOLDEN HOLLIWAY shape-changes into DITTO (an all new character that YOU get to design. I think he should look like a big, pink, wad of bubblegum that�s been shaped into a man.)
The REAL HOLDEN HOLLIWAY introduces JEN to DITTO. He�s their resident shape-shifter.

PANEL FOUR
�See ya around, kiddo,� says DITTO as he takes off.
JEN asks HOLLIWAY why a law firm needs a shape-shifter.
�Are you kidding?� HOLLIWAY tells her, �The man�s the best process server on the East Coast. Now come with me. I want to show you your office��

PANEL FIVE
��and your first client.�
HOLLIWAY opens the door to JEN�S office. Waiting inside is DANGER MAN!
(JUAN, DANGER MAN is an ALL NEW character. You get to make him up. He should be a strikingly handsome man�the quintessential superhero, with a square jaw and massive, muscular physique. His hair and eyes are BRIGHT ORANGE. Giant electrons whiz around his hands and forehead�as if they were the nucleuses of giant atoms.
The electrons around his head stay above his eyebrows�covering the same area of his forehead as a hat brim or headband would.
Even though he wears a suit and tie, a large BLACK warning sign for NUCLEAR POWER glows, floating above his chest. It is backlit by an ORANGE glow.)

PAGE 8
PANEL ONE
JEN shakes DANGER MAN�S hand. She�s not familiar with him. She excuses herself for asking, but is he a hero or a villain?
�Um� Neither,� he tells her, �I�m just a guy. Or rather I was��

PANEL TWO
In PANELS TWO through SIX, DANGER MAN narrates as we FLASH BACK to his amazing (though VERY generic) origin.
�It all happened a couple of weeks ago, back when I was just plain ol� Dan Jermain, Security Inspector for The Roxxon Energy Corporation��

We see a shot of a short, fat, balding white guy, DAN JERMAIN. He�s in front of his locker at work and wearing his orange radiation suit (with a big, black radiation symbol on the front). He hasn�t put on his helmet yet, so we can get a good look at his very NON-heroic face.
DAN is a happy man, and even though he�s short, fat, and balding�he�s drinking from a coffee mug that says �World�s Greatest Lover.� Behind him, taped up inside his locker, we can see holiday photos of him, his overweight wife, and their teenage daughter at the beach.

PANEL THREE
One day, DAN was supervising some workers up on a catwalk. They were installing �DANGER� signs, to let people know that there were vats of HARD ATOMIC WATER below. All of them were in protective radiation suits (with their helmets on).

PANEL FOUR
Suddenly the railing gave way, and DAN fell into one of the ATOMIC VATS!

PANEL FIVE
When he emerged from the vats, to everyone�s surprise, not only had he survived�
Bust soon he found himself growing larger, stronger, more powerful�
�bursting out of his radiation suit, he was transformed into some kind of ATOMIC SUPER MAN!

PAGE 9
PANEL ONE
CUT BACK to JEN�S office as DANGER MAN explains that that�s why he wants to sue ROXXON.
JEN is confused.
�You want to sue them,� she asks, �for making you �larger, stronger, and more powerful?��
�Yes,� he tells her.
HOLDEN HOLLIWAY tells DANGER MAN not to fear. JEN�S the right woman for this job.

PANEL TWO
LATER, in the GLK&H LAW LIBRARY (a room filled with law books).
With a bunch of heavy books in her arms, JEN approaches the LIBRARIAN.
She asks the LIBRARIAN if she has any text that specifically deals with SUPER HUMAN INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENTS.
�This is the North Side,� the LIBRARIAN tells JEN, �We only deal in �stacks.� You want the South Side. THEY have the �long boxes.��
�The �long boxes�?� asks JEN.

PANEL THREE
CUT to the OTHER branch of the GLK&H LIBRARY� This room is filled with comic book long boxes.
This other branch of the LIBRARY is run by STU THE INTERN. STU is tall, gangly, and dressed in a suit with suspenders and a bow tie. (JUAN, this is a new character. You get to design him).
He tells JEN that he�s a big fan of hers and he�s been dying to meet her.
JEN asks him just what the deal is with this branch of the GLK&H library.

PANEL FOUR
STU explains that many Marvel Comics from before 2002 were licensed by the characters and approved and verified by the U.S. government through the Comics Code of America. He shows JEN a comic with the Comics Code seal on it.
JEN gets it. Because of that stamp, these are legal documents and would hold up as fact in a court of law.

PANEL FIVE
STU corrects her. He tells her that it only works for the licensed properties, like FANTASTIC FOUR and THE AVENGERS. In one hand, he holds up a copy of an old FANTASTIC FOUR comic.
(JUAN, leave this blank. We�ll have an ACTUAL old cover scanned in.)
He then points out that comics like DAREDEVIL and SPIDER-MAN are put together from eyewitness accounts. But MARVEL takes liberties with certain details, like coming up with secret identities and their supporting casts.
In his other hand, he holds up a copy of a famous SPIDER-MAN cover where the SPIDEY is unmasked. But THIS cover has been doctored to show a completely DIFFERENT secret identity underneath�someone who is OBVIOUSLY not PETER PARKER.
(JUAN, please leave this cover blank as well. TOM, I don�t know if MARVEL still has a dept. like Romita�s Raiders. Could they still mock up something like this?)

PAGE 10
PANEL ONE
STU tells JEN that he was excited to hear that she�d be working on the DANGER MAN case. A superhuman filing a class action suit because of their origin�that�s really interesting stuff!
He tells JEN that if she�d like, he can pull the origin issues for ALL of the heroes AND villains.

PANEL TWO (SILENT PANEL)
LATER, in her office, JEN pours over stacks of comics and legal books. Important: (JUAN, please leave the comic covers blank. We�ll scan in actual old comic covers for theses. TOM, one of them should be the issue of FANTASTIC FOUR where Jean Grey came back from the dead.

PANEL THREE (SILENT PANEL)
Over the shoulder shot as JEN pulls out a copy of THE SAVAGE SHE-HULK #1. She doesn�t open it yet (because legally we can�t show the Lego add on the back cover). Her thumb covers up the UPC box.
(JUAN, leave the cover blank. We�ll scan in the actual John Buscema cover).

PANEL FOUR
We see a tight close up of the LAST PANEL of the LAST PAGE of SAVAGE SHE-HULK #1.
(JUAN, if possible, could you reproduce this panel? We�ll send you ref. This way we can make this panel look like a hyper-real comic, with big Lichtenstein style dots�like classic 60�s pop art.)
The JEN WALTERS in THAT panel says one of her catch phrases for the FIRST time: �From now on, whatever JENNIFER WALTERS can�t handle�THE SHE-HULK WILL DO!�

PANEL FIVE
It�s nighttime as JEN leaves the TIMELY PLAZA building. She�s tired and frustrated.

PANEL SIX
She ducks around a corner, into an alley�

PAGE 11
PANEL ONE
�and transforms into SHE-HULK, bursting out of tiny JEN WALTERS� clothes. (She was wearing her SHE-HULK uniform underneath.)

PANEL TWO
CLOSE UP on SHE-HULK as she leans against the alley wall in relief. She didn�t think she could stand ONE MORE MOMENT of being JEN WALTERS!

PANEL THREE
MEANWHILE� DANGER MAN takes the train home to LONG ISLAND. It is the exact opposite of PAGE 3, PANEL ONE. Here, DANGER MAN is the tallest person on the train. There�s no way he can blend in. It�s obvious to EVERYONE that he�s a SUPERHUMAN. Everyone stares.

PANEL FOUR
LATER, ON DANGER MAN�S STREET� a row of typical AMERICAN SUBURBAN HOUSES in LONG ISLAND, NY.
DANGER MAN�S neighbors are out on the street talking to each other. What are they going to do about DANGER MAN? The property values on their houses are plummeting now that a SUPERHUMAN lives on the block!
One of the neighbors points off panel and warns the others that HE�S COMING!

PANEL FIVE
In a match shot of the previous panel, the street is now empty as DANGER MAN walks home. Though his body is of VERY heroic proportions, his posture is slumped over and depressed. His jacket is off and his tie is loosened.
He walks up the path to his house. We can see from recent construction, that something ripped off the front of his house and it�s recently been reconstructed. The new lumber though hasn�t been painted to match the rest of the house.

PAGE 12
PANEL ONE
Outside his door, DANGER MAN bends down to pick up his evening paper. But his massive muscular back splits his shirt.

PANEL TWO
DANGER MAN removes his shirt and looks at it. It�s ruined. That�s the third one this week.
With his shirt off, his amazing physique is out in the open. He looks like the cover to a men�s fitness magazine. From off panel, we hear �oohs� and �ahhs,� and even a �hey baby!�

PANEL THREE
We pull back to see that a car is pulling up to the house. It�s a convertible, filled up with cute teenage girls. One of them is DANGER MAN�S daughter and she is completely embarrassed.
�Check out the man candy!� hoots one of the girls.
�Shut up!� DANGER MAN�S DAUGHTER yells at them while getting out of the car, �That�s my DAD!�
�You�re dad�s totally HOT!� says another girl.

PANEL FOUR
As DANGER MAN�S DAUGHTER rushes into the house she yells to her dad that she HATES him!
�I�m sorry, baby�� he says, �Wait!�

PANEL FIVE
He races inside after her, and is about to close the door, when his WIFE yells, �STOP! Don�t slam the door! Remember what happened LAST time?!�
His wife is an overweight woman in her mid 40�s. One of her arms is broken and in a cast

PANEL SIX
DANGER MAN stops and VERY delicately closes the door.
His WIFE asks him how everything went with the lawyers.
�Okay,� he tells her, �How did things go with the insurance agent?�
�Not so good,� she tells him, �We�re not covered for self-inflicted SUPERHUMAN damage.�

PAGE 13
PANEL ONE
His wife says that�s not the worst of it. The insurance people are canceling his life AND health insurance too. They don�t cover superhumans. They would have paid off if the accident blew him up�

PANEL TWO
DANGER MAN gets frustrated and angry. He begins to glow brighter and brighter. This is just GREAT! Well, he didn�t blow up! So what�s he supposed to do now?!
His wife watches on, a little scared.

PANEL THREE
DANGER MAN calms down and stops glowing. He tells his wife that it�s been a long day. He�s just going to go to bed.
His wife asks him if he wants anything for dinner.
�I don�t need to eat anymore,� he tells her, �I�m atomically fueled. Look��
�Wait,� she tells him, �let me clean up and I�ll join you.�

PANEL FOUR
DANGER MAN says he�s going to sleep in the guestroom again tonight. The last time they slept together, he rolled over in his sleep and broke her arm.

PANEL FIVE
LATER, DANGER MAN�S WIFE lies in her bed alone, feeling fat and ugly. Pictures on her wall show the family with the way DAN used to look: short, fat, and balding.

PANEL SIX
As she finally falls asleep, the panel melts away as�
� in her horrible fantasies, she sees her husband, the awe-inspiring DANGER MAN, being fondled and caressed by sexy superheroines� WARBIRD, SCARLET WITCH, THE BLACK WIDOW, and SHE-HULK. (SHE-HULK should NOT be the most prominent superheroine, or that would just be TOO coincidental).

PAGE 14
PANEL ONE
CUT to THE NEXT DAY at the law offices of GLK&H. JEN and HOLLIWAY sit at one of the conference tables across from three representatives from ROXXON (two men and one woman in business suits). There are glasses and a pitcher of water in between them. One of the people from ROXXON has a glass up to his lips and is about to drink�
One of the other people from ROXXON makes their case very clear. They don�t see how any court in the land is going to hold them responsible for making someone larger, stronger, and more powerful. They�re not going to pay DANGER MAN one red cent of damages.

PANEL TWO
JEN WALTERS tells the ROXXON people she�s sorry they feel that way.
�By the way,� JEN adds, �did I fail to mention that we had that water brought in special? It�s from the same vat Dan Jermain fell into.�
The ROXXON people freeze up, a shocked look on all of their faces.

PANEL THREE
�and then start fighting over the water, ALL of them trying to drink it down in the slim hopes of becoming superhuman.
In the background JEN and HOLLIWAY leave the conference room.

PANEL FOUR
�You didn�t really think that would work,� HOLLIWAYS asks her, �Did you?�
JEN tells him it worked in the movie ERIN BROKOVICH. But in this case� it was a desperate shot. After all, who WOULDN�T want to be larger, stronger, and more powerful?

PANEL FIVE
HOLLIWAY takes JEN aside.
�You can�t stand it, can you?� he asks her, �Not being She-Hulk.�
JEN tells HOLLIWAY that from the day she got a blood transfusion from her cousin, BRUCE BANNER/THE HULK, she�s never REALLY needed to be JEN WALTERS again!
WHY would she ever want to go back to THIS? Back to being vulnerable, weak, insignificant�

PAGE 15
PANEL ONE
HOLLIWAY tells her that he thinks JEN WALTERS was one of the finest minds to come out of UCLA LAW. He thinks she matters a great deal. And he thinks that in her own way, she has a greater inner-strength than SHE-HULK could EVER have.
JEN thinks HOLLIWAY just-doesn�t-get-it! It�s like the caterpillar and the butterfly! The fact that he�s trying to force her back into this stupid, old shell� When THE SHE-HULK was born, JEN could be cast aside. She might as well be--

PANEL TWO
Suddenly, in mid-argument, JEN gets an idea and runs off.
�Ohmigod! That�s it! I know how to win this! I�ve got to call DANGER MAN right away!�

PANEL THREE
With her safely out of earshot, HOLLIWAY whispers to himself, �If I can�t get YOU to see the truth, Ms. Walters. Then maybe all of THIS is for nothing.�
(Ooh! A cryptic remark by the head of the law firm? Could he have some strange master plan in the works?)

PANEL FOUR
CUT TO LATER THAT NIGHT at DANGER MAN�S house in LONG ISLAND. DANGER MAN and his family are excited that his layer (JEN) is coming over for dinner. The doorbell is ringing.
�I�ll get it,� says DANGER MAN�S DAUGHTER.
�That must be her,� says DANGER MAN�S WIFE, �Now remember, we can�t get our hopes up.�
�She said she came up with a way to win our case, honey,� DANGER MAN tells her, �Let�s hear her out.�

PANEL FIVE
DANGER MAN�S family is surprised when they open the door and SHE-HULK (not JEN) steps in. She has to duck to get through the doorframe. SHE-HULK�S dressed in nice clothes, nothing too sexy or revealing. (JUAN, they should also be clothes that won�t reveal too much if she changes back into JEN. That will be important in a few pages.)
SHE-HULK explains that when they invited her they said to wear something comfortable. Well, it�s after working hours, and THIS is how�s she�s most comfortable.

PAGE 16
PANEL ONE
When SHE-HULK fully steps into the room, both she and DANGER MAN completely dwarf DANGER MAN�S WIFE and DAUGHTER. Next to the two superhumans, the two �normal� people in the room look small and insignificant.
DANGER MAN speaks out. He�s surprised! He knew his lawyer was JENNIFER WALTERS� but not �THE� JENNIFER WALTERS�
SHE-HULK jokes that there are 11 others listed in the phonebook. And one of the AVENGERS cast a magic spell on her� So she can understand the confusion.

PANEL TWO
LATER, OVER A HALF FINISHED DINNER�
We come into the middle of the conversation as JEN wraps up how she�s going to argue DANGER MAN�S case.
��and once we establish that �Danger Man� is effectively an all new entity, we then argue that for all intents and purposes, that �Dan Jermain� has ceased to exist.�

PANEL THREE
As SHE-HULK continues to make her point, the camera focuses on DANGER MAN�S WIFE and her reaction. To her, not only is this argument disturbing, but the fact that her husband is so quick to accept it, is horrifying.
SHE-HULK refers to �THE JEAN GREY PRECEDENT� a case she witnessed as a member of the FANTASTIC FOUR. It involved a woman�who supposedly evolved into a higher superhuman form� but was actually replaced by another entity. Her REAL body was left in a pod at the bottom of Hudson Bay�

PANEL FOUR
We keep DANGER MAN�S WIFE in shot as DANGER MAN and SHE-HULK talk back and forth, getting excited about the case.
�So?� DANGER MAN asks, �You�re saying that the day Danger Man was born?��
�Dan Jermain died,� SHE-HULK sums up, �He�s not coming back. And his family should be compensated for their loss.�

PANEL FIVE
We stay on DANGER MAN�S WIFE as, out of gratitude, DANGER MAN clasps SHE-HULKS hand and thanks her.
�Do you really think this will work?� he asks her.
�I think I can sell it to a jury.� SHE-HULK tells him.

PAGE 17
PANEL ONE
DANGER MAN�S WIFE grabs her daughter and starts heading for the door.
�Honey?� DANGER MAN asks, �Where are you going?�
�I- I- can�t do this anymore,� she tells him, �We�re leaving.�

PANEL TWO
CUT to outside the house. DANGER MAN�S WIFE tells her daughter to get into the family car. DANGER MAN has followed them outside, and unintentionally ripped the door from off its hinges.
�Get in the car, Molly.�
�Honey, don�t go!� DANGER MAN pleads, �Whatever it is, I can change!�

PANEL THREE (small panel)
His atomic-powered hand reaches for her arm, the one in the cast�

PANEL FOUR (small panel)
And then, as if reminding himself how fragile things can be to his touch, he pulls his hand away.

PANEL FIVE
Moments later, DANGER MAN�S wife is looking out the driver�s side window of the car.
�That�s the PROBLEM,� she tells him, �You changed.�

PANEL SIX
DANGER MAN and SHE-HULK watch as DANGER MAN�S WIFE and DAUGHTER drive away. DANGER MAN begins to glow a brighter and brighter orange.

PAGE 18
PANEL ONE
SHE-HULK reaches out to comfort him�

PANEL TWO
As his anger level rises, DANGER MAN glows EVEN brighter. He tells SHE-HULK to go away! And in a fit of rage he SMACKS her with an ATOMIC POWERED PUNCH!

PANEL THREE
SHE-HULK goes crashing THROUGH trees and mailboxes, and finally comes to a stop as she slams into a parked SUV. The metal frame of the family van bends and buckles against SHE-HULK�S super-strong body.

PANEL FOUR
Hearing the sound, neighbors come out of their houses they want to know what�s going on.
SHE-HULK pulls herself out of the wrecked vehicle.

PANEL FIVE
Picking up the damaged SUV to use as a weapon, SHE-HULK tells everyone to go back inside.
She knows she�s got to take DANGER MAN out before�

PAGE 19
PANEL ONE
�he blows himself up!
Holding the damaged SUV over her head, SHE-HULK looks back at DANGER MAN. He�s glowing brighter and brighter! He�s no longer orange, now he�s WHITE hot!

PANEL TWO
SHE-HULK drops the SUV and starts heading over to DANGER MAN. She asks him just WHAT it is that he thinks he�s doing?!

PANEL THREE
DANGER MAN says that he WANTS to blow himself up! It�s the only way Roxxon will pay up! The only way his insurance will cover him! The only way he can provide for his family! Why be so damn �academic� about it?! Everything WOULD be better off he actually WAS dead!

PANEL FOUR
SHE-HULK struggles to get closer in the wake of all the energy he�s giving off. She tries to talk him out of it�to tell DANGER MAN that she knows what he�s going through�
DANGER MAN tells her that she has NO IDEA what he�s going through! He never asked for this! He just wants things to go back to the way they were! He wants his old life back!!

PANEL FIVE (SMALL, THIN PANEL)
Silent panel. CLOSE UP. REACTION SHOT OF SHE-HULK�S EYES.

PAGE 20
PANEL ONE
SHE-HULK changes back to JEN WALTERS. DANGER MAN freaks out. What�s she doing? As SHE-HULK she could SURVIVE the blast! But like THIS she�ll be KILLED!

PANEL TWO
JEN tells DAN that she knows what she�s doing. She�s vulnerable now. More at risk.

PANEL THREE
DANGER MAN warns her�he�s an atomic super man that�s about to go critical. Doesn�t she GET that?!!

PANEL FOUR
�No,� JEN tells him, �You�re just a guy. A good guy. Someone who looks out for others, more than he looks out for himself. And if you go, you�re taking me with you.�

PANEL FIVE
DANGER MAN powers down. He�s no longer glowing. JEN holds him as he cries. He tells her that he just doesn�t want THIS life. He just doesn�t. What�s he going to do?
�I don�t know, Dan,� she tells him, �But we�ll work something out.�

PAGE 21
PANEL ONE
DAYS LATER, JEN is organizing things in her office at GLK&H. In her hand she holds a file about DAN JERMAIN/DANGER MAN.
It�s open to a psyche-profile from the desk of DR. LEONARD SAMSON (just like the psyche-profile from the opening TEXT PAGE). A picture of a sad-but-calm DANGER MAN is attached to the profile with a paperclip.
In caption boxes we find out that DAN JERMAIN (a.k.a. DANGER MAN) has been moved to a psychiatric hospital for Superhumans for observation.

PANEL TWO
JEN goes through her box of belongings and flips through the framed photos of herself as SHE-HULK.
(JUAN, please only show the ones w/ SHE-HULK, or SHE-HULK w/ Marvel characters. We CAN show pics of SHE-HULK with real world celebrities OR other licensed characters ONCE�using the rules of parody and one-time use. But if we show them TWICE, we run the risk of angering REAL lawyers.).
In caption boxes we discover that DANGER MAN�S mental anguish has been VERY easy to prove.

PANEL THREE
JEN settles on just ONE photo and pulls it out of the box. Its back is to us and we can�t see what it is yet.
In caption boxes we discover that Roxxon settled the case out of court for a very LARGE amount. Enough to provide for the Jermain family. And enough to start research for a cure.

PANEL FOUR
JEN puts the one picture on the wall. It�s JENNIFER WALTER�S graduation photo from ISSUE #1.
�There she is,� comes a voice from off panel, �My hero!�
In a caption box, JEN mentions that a forty percent contingency fee for her law firm didn�t hurt either.

PANEL FIVE
HOLDEN HOLLIWAY has walked into JEN�S office. He tells her that she just brought millions of dollars into his firm on her first case. The least he can do is take her out to lunch.
She accepts.
In a caption box, JEN tells us that she doesn�t know if she can really chalk these current events up as a victory. But she did learn one, very important new piece of information�

PANEL SIX
As HOLLIWAY and JEN leave, the camera stays on the picture on the wall.
In a caption box, JEN tells us, �That some of the things She-Hulk can�t handle�Jennifer Walters can.�
THE END

[Crimson]

Dan I loved your post on propsals (Springboards) but could you post some of your successful ones?

It would be good to see how you put forward books that got picked up as well as ones that were rejected.

[Miss Kitty Fantastico]

Dan, thanks for taking the time to post these - it's interesting to see how a comic comes to be, and as an aspiring writer I think there's plenty to learn (especially in your advice on pitching) that applies beyond the comic industry too.

I was especially pleased to see that the script you chose was the Danger Man issue - I've never sat down and tried to figure out which She-Hulk issue is my all-time favourite, but that'd certainly be on the list.

(Not having re-read the early issues recently though, I'd forgotten about Dan Jermain's wife's paranoid dream, so "WARBIRD (in her �sexier� costume�it�s for a dream sequence)" made me sit up and take notice in case it was a missing scene where Shulkie dozed off in her office...)

[ultimatexavior]

I love this type of stuff. The untold stories behind stories or unpublished stories. Since this is my first post I thought I'd gush a bit before I start ask annoying questions. It's a great way to learn how to write scripts and to present your stories to publishers or your co-creators. thanks Dan!

xavior

[Simps]

My last basic rule for pitching springboards: only submit ideas you want to write. I KNOW that sounds obvious-- but trust me, it's important. I know many a writer who's tried to dazzle an editor with how MANY ideas that they can come up with. And, more often than not, they throw one or two extra springboards into their pitch JUST to prove that. And, every time, like clockwork, THOSE are the pitches that the editor likes. So here you have all of these GREAT ideas that you've labored over-- and the editor asks you to develop the ones that you've tacked on at the last minute. AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH! Don't fall into that trap! ONLY pitch the stuff you want to write!
Not exactly related to comics writing, but last year when we had to pitch new product ideas to develop for a business class, the one my whole group wasn't enthusiastic about and I fought against was of course the one the professors liked best.

[Dan Slott]

Prophet, visionairy, or lucky guesser?

YOU BE THE JUDGE!


From my first ever super hero story, Speedball in "To Bounce Or Not To Bounce", NEW WARRIORS ANNUAL #1, July 1991...

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/DanSlott/Speedball1991.jpg

Spikes on a Speedball suit? Nah...

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/DanSlott/Speedball1991-2.jpg

No, darn it! It was just a joke!

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/DanSlott/Speedball1991-1.jpg

See? It looks silly! No one would ever...

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/DanSlott/Penancetbolts.png

Oy. Okay, it's all my fault. Sorry.

;)

ttyl
Dan

[Dingo]

I loved that story the first time I read it (before I knew who Dan Slott was).

Now... it's a little too close to home.

I mean, he even lost his powers temporarily...



btw, threw in everything but the kitchen sink in that one didn't you Dan?

[Corey]

That's pretty funny!

I remember reading that story when it originally came out. One of the best New Warriors back-ups.

While I really enjoyed Evan Skolnik's run on New Warriors following Fabian Nicieza, I always wondered 'what if Dan Slott had gotten the gig'?

Dan, were you ever up for writing New Warriors?

[Sam Johnson]

Is it just me, or does anyone else think that if you look at a Marvel or DC comic from the arly 90s or before, the art is on average much stronger? Maybe it's because they had more of a 'house style'?...

[tom daylight]

I find the art is universally of a much higher standard today.

[Dingo]

I find the art is universally of a much higher standard today.

Are you just judging the art, or the computer colouring that we get today?

[tom daylight]

The art as a whole. Pencilling, inking and colouring is generally of a higher standard, printing is better too, allowing for better detail and less of the dots and smudges of yesteryear.

[Dingo]

The art as a whole. Pencilling, inking and colouring is generally of a higher standard, printing is better too, allowing for better detail and less of the dots and smudges of yesteryear.

I'm not sure I agree.

The penciling may be tighter, but that doesn't automatically equate to better.

Because the penciling is tighter nowadays there is (apparently) less skill involved in inking. I don't know anything about this though.

The colouring I would say is the biggest difference. Computer colouring just looks beautiful compared to older methods.

And of course there is paper quality...

[tom daylight]

By "less skill" do you mean "less finding ways to accommodate older printing techniques"? Because, dying though the artform of inking appears to be, I think it involves more skill than ever before, now that the art is exposed to its higher levels of resolution...

[Dingo]

By "less skill" do you mean "less finding ways to accommodate older printing techniques"? Because, dying though the artform of inking appears to be, I think it involves more skill than ever before, now that the art is exposed to its higher levels of resolution...

No, I mean that because so much more is expected of pencillers, inkers have much less in the way of embelishment to do. They no longer have to fill in the gaps that were suggested by the pencils, and less often have to fix mistakes of pencillers.

So by less skill, I kind of meant that the old Chasing Amy line of inkers just being tracers is becoming more true in a general sense.

As I said though, I don't really know anything much about this... it's just what I have heard.

[tom daylight]

take a look at this recent (this year) panel by stuart immonen, inked by wade von grawbadger:

http://www.immonen.ca/news/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/hellcat_pencils.jpg

http://www.immonen.ca/news/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/hellcat_inks.jpg

I defy you to tell me that the finished piece is all Immonen. There have decidely been subtle choices made by the inker, about what's black, how thick the line is, etc.

A good example I can see - look at the crease on her right shoulder.

[Dingo]

I defy you to tell me that the finished piece is all Immonen. There have decidely been subtle choices made by the inker, about what's black, how thick the line is, etc.

A good example I can see - look at the crease on her right shoulder.

Oh absolutely there are subtle changes, but that is one piece, and we are talking about sweeping industry wide trends.

Having said that, a quick google turned up a Neal Adams piece from Avengers 93 Inked py Tom Palmer.

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g33/dingogary/inking.jpg

I think this is more indicative of what was happening at the time, and Neal Adams is definately no slouch when it comes to putting pencil to paper.

[Sam Johnson]

I agree that you can get the beautiful superstar art today, but I think for the most part, maybe because less books were published each month, the artists had a stronger style and were better storytellers. I certainly wouldn't call it "universally better".

[Dan Slott]

Hi.
Dad got me a digital camera for my ol' B-day.
(Thanks, Dad!)
And I thought I'd give it a quick test-- especially before San Diego-- just to make sure I could upload stuff here when I got back. So here's my first test...

So, I thought I'd SHOW you guys my "Bad Habit"...
...I'm an Action Figure Junkie. There. I admit it.
Over the past few years it's gotten a li'l out of control. So, one of the caps I put on myself was that I could only buy action figures of characters I'd written stories for. Aaaaand sometimes that includes custom figures.
So here, for your enjoyment are 3 fun figs.-- all of them from my issue of MIDNIGHT SONS UNLIMITED #9:
The Mighty Destroyer, Blazing Skull, and Union Jack!


http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/DanSlott/MidnightSons9.jpg

Both the Mighty Destroyer and Blazing Skull are customs. The Mighty Destroyer was commissioned from a website (I believe it was built off of a Super Powers Superman fig.). The Blazing Skull was made by my friend Jess, using an old Daredevil fig. (from an old Spider-Man line, a Ghost Rider fig., and a lot of love). The Union Jack fig. was a Wizard Exclusive from waaaaay back.

Outside of those two custom fig.s, I only own 6 other customs: a Two-Gun Kid, Speedball, Night Thrasher, Powdered Toastman, Blue Falcon, and Hardbody (a character I created for Acclaim). I owned a seventh: Oddball (another character I created for Acclaim), but sadly it fell off a shelf and shattered.... Once that happened, and after DC put out an ACTUAL Blue Falcon figure-- I decided to chill on custom figs. Because in THIS market, they're probably going to make WHATEVER obscure figure you want ANYWAY.

Okay... There you have it. My deep, dark, embarrassing secret. So shoot me! :)

ttyl
Dan

[tom daylight]

So, one of the caps I put on myself was that I could only buy action figures of characters I'd written stories for.

Like THAT'S a limit!!! :roll:

PS... read one of your earliest ever Spider-Man stories, in Venom Super-Special #1, today. The rest of the comic sucked, but your story with Alien Costume Spider-Man and Mark Bagley's art was terrific! Would love to see you collaborate with Bagley again - maybe on a few issues of Avengers: the Initiative? :)

[Spidey616]

Hey Dan-O, I'm sure everyone here completely understands your "action figure" obsession. I mean just ask Greg Horn about his Elektra barbie collection. (If you ask him about it, don't say Spidey616 mentioned it :))

As long as we're sharing, take a look at this Mjolnir replica I bought last month, and later got signed by the legendary Walt Simonson and Thor/Beta Ray Bill writer Mike Oeming:

http://shutter08.pictures.aol.com/data/pictures/12/009/7F/FE/AB/FD/ujna0BWMN8VbjsGBCyj-RzertxRb8u050300.jpg


PS: WONDER TWIN POWRS ACTIVATE!
http://shutter10.pictures.aol.com/data/pictures/13/005/6F/FF/97/0D/gHrPSvLUx1wSEzbA5Nl1X8UTLXHCa6gU0300.jpg

[Dan Slott]

Seriously... Who out there would WANT to own a Night Thrasher & Speedball set of action figures?


http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/DanSlott/nightthrasherspeedball.jpg

I am such a geek...

[Merrik]

Seriously... Who out there would WANT to own a Night Thrasher & Speedball set of action figures?


:sad:

Me...



:D

[Crimson]

So, one of the caps I put on myself was that I could only buy action figures of characters I'd written stories for.

I think we've found the reason behind your wealth of guest stars and one page cameos... you crafty son of a gun.

[Dan Slott]

This's one of those plots where everything just worked. I loved this one. I loved how it came out. And boy did Kieron do a GREAT job on the art!
Very little changed from plot to script-- except for 3 minor tweaks:

1) The final title was WAY better: "Dis Man, Dis Monster, Disarmed!" (And there's a funny story to that... but let's save that for another day...)

2) The opening line was changed to a teeny, little "She's gonna kill me..." Which was wayyyy better storywise than hearing Ben say "Wotta revoltin..." etc. for the billionth time.

and

3) Kieron pointed out a time paradox at the end. If all of time changed, why weren't Reed and Sue in togas? Good point. My fix was keeping them in the Baxter Building-- obviously Reed had built some kind of time-defense shield for just such an emergency. So, instead of coming IN from a night on the town, instead Reed & Sue were IN the building the whole time, using some kind of VR tropical vacation (which we called the "Paradise Simulator"). Problem solved.

Anywhoo...

Here you go:

THING #7
��on the way to the forum.�
Plot for 22pgs.
Dan Slott
3/29/06

Reference:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphrodite_of_Melos
http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paris/tour/louvre.outside-night.html


PAGE 1
SPLASH PAGE.
Exterior. Daytime. We open on what�s left of a sculpture garden in ANCIENT GREECE. Right before we came in on this scene, BEN was smacked really hard by HERCULES and was sent flying into a sculpture garden.
Now, BEN�S sprawled out on the ground with bits of classic-style Greek statues strewn around him (there can even be shattered parts of a HERCULES statue, if you want to work HERC�S visual into the first page). The most prominent statue�lying right in BEN�S lap�is the VENUS DE MILO.
BEN, with a look that is equal parts terror and guilt, has one of the VENUS DE MILO�S broken arms in each of his hands.
He gulps and very meekly says, �Whatta revoltin� development��
(BEN is wearing nice clothes, something that he�d wear while taking ALICIA somewhere nice for her birthday. But they can be ripped and torn from his battle with HERCULES).

PAGE 2
Panel One
ALICIA comes wandering into frame. She�s calling out to BEN, asking him if he�s all right. (Even though she�s in Ancient Greece, ALICIA is still in modern day clothes).

Panel Two
Still lying in the wreckage of all the statues, BEN tells ALICIA that she should stay back. It�s still dangerous! (Though actually he�s a bit more afraid for HIMSELF, and what he thinks ALICIA will do to him if she finds out he just destroyed this classic piece of art!)
ALICIA blindly trips on some of the wrecked statues�

Panel Three
�and lands on top of the VENUS DE MILO. One of her hands touches one of the statue�s severed stumps, and her other hand touches one of the severed arms in BEN�S hands.
�Baby?� says BEN, �You okay?�
�I�m okay,� she says, �Nothing�s bro-- Wait! What�s this�? Oh no��

Panel Four
With both ALICIA and VENUS lying in BEN�S lap, ALICIA continues to feel the statue.
�Easy, Alicia�� pleads BEN, �It�s okay� We can fix this. Maybe go back to our century fer some super glue or sumthin���
�Oh NO!� stammers ALICIA, �No! No! NO!�

Panel Five
With her face right up in his, ALICIA yells out, �BENJAMIN J. GRIMM! What have you DONE?!�
BEN winces. In captions he thinks how this day didn�t start out to good neither�

PAGE 3
Panel One (Large Panel)
We open on THE PUPPET MASTER�S secret headquarters. THE PUPPET MASTER is playing with two dolls�with one being a doll of ARLO and the other being one of ALICIA. He makes them kiss.
In front of him, sitting on a plush couch, are ARLO and ALICIA making out.
And in the background, suspended by giant adamantium marionette cables, is a helpless THING.
THE THING yells out that he always knew something wasn�t kosher with ARLO!
THE PUPPET MASTER gloats that he used his puppets to find the perfect man for his daughter�someone who was finally worthy of her!

Panel Two
THE THING tries to free himself, but he�s hanging in the air and there�s nothing to give him any traction. So he just flails about while suspended on the giant marionette cables. He tells the PUPPET MASTER that when he gets outta there�

Panel Three
CLOSE UP on the PUPPET MASTER as he pulls out a THING doll. The PUPPET MASTER tells BEN that he�s never getting out of there! But it�s nothing to beat himself up over� Or is it?

Panel Four
The PUPPET MASTER makes his THING PUPPET keep hitting himself. And the REAL THING does the same.
�Why do you keep hitting yourself, huh Thing?� chuckles the PUPPET MASTER, �Why do you keep hitting yourself?�
In the foreground, the real ALICIA and ARLO continue to make out on the couch.
In the lower right corner is a caption box where we hear SUE STORM say, �So? What happened next?�

PAGE 4
Panel One
Cut to the streets of Manhattan, in the bohemian/artsy area of Soho. Daytime.
BEN (dressed up in his nice clothes) is walking down the street with LOCKJAW. They�re heading to ALICIA�S Soho loft (which we haven�t seen in the series yet).
BEN�S carrying a bouquet of posies in one hand, and talking with his cell phone in the other.
�I�ll tell ya what happened,� says BEN, �I woke up. That�s what happened.�
BEN goes on to say that he�s checked up on ARLO. And there�s nothing sinister or hinky with him at all. Basically, ALICIA�S found herself a great guy. And how is he going to compete with that?

Panel Two
Cut to SUE STORM-RICHARDS in the residential kitchen of the BAXTER BUILDING. She�s giving her children, VAL (who should be in a highchair) and FRANKLIN, their breakfast while she�s on the phone with BEN.
�Fine,� she tells him, �give up. But I never thought that you, Ben Grimm would be such a coward.�

Panel Three
Cut back to a close up of BEN. He rolls his eyes and asks SUZIE how many times she thinks she can sucker him with that line. (It�s the same line she used to get Ben into the rocket back in FF #1�)

Panel Four
Cut back to SUE. She smiles. And then asks BEN if he can watch the kids again tonight. She and Reed have to go to some science symposium. Over the phone we can hear BEN say that he�ll do it.
SUE asks him to bring ALICIA along.

Panel Five
Cut back to BEN. He tells SUE that he can watch the kids by himself. Over the phone, SUE reminds him that the LAST time he did that, he took the children to the track! BEN sighs and says he�ll be sure to bring ALICIA with him. He says goodbye.

PAGE 5
Panel One
THING and LOCKJAW arrive at ALICIA�S building, they step inside and prepare to for the two story walkup.

Panel Two
Upstairs, BEN starts to open the door to ALICIA�S apartment/loft. He can�t believe that she lives in the city and doesn�t lock her doors!

Panel Three
Peeking through the door, BEN sees ARLO giving ALICIA her birthday present�

Panel Four
We zoom in to see that ARLO has made ALICIA a small replica of her favorite statue, THE VENUS DE MILO. As she touches it, ALICIA is so grateful! What a perfect gift!

Panel Five
Back in the hallway, BEN shrugs as he looks down at his sad-looking bouquet of posies.

PAGE 6
Panel One
BEN and LOCKJAW come into the apartment. (The posies are nowhere to be seen). BEN says �Hi� to everybody and asks ALICIA if she�s ready for the bestest birthday ever! ALICIA asks BEN if he�s finally going to tell her where he�s taking her. BEN says that it�s a surprise.

Panel Two
ALICIA walks past BEN and says she better get a coat. In the background ARLO goes to pet LOCKJAW, but LOCKJAW has immediately taken a dislike to him�and starts to growl.

Panel Three
Close up on BEN, he turns as he hears both a �chomp� and ARLO calling out to him.

Panel Four
We pull back to see that LOCKJAW has chomped on to one of ARLO�S legs and is not letting go. BEN reprimands LOCKJAW, and alternately praises him in whispers.
�Lockjaw! Whattya think yer doin?! (Good dog). Let go a� Arlo�s leg there (Atta boy).�

Panel Five
A little later, ALICIA, BEN, and LOCKJAW head out the door. ARLO (with one leg covered in Lockjaw-slobber) waves to them and tells them to have fun. BEN can�t believe this guy!
Nearby, we can see the discarded posies on the floor.


PAGE 7
Panel One
Cut to BEN, ALICIA, and LOCKJAW walking down the streets of New York. ALICIA asks if they�re �there� yet. BEN tells her that they�re �close.�

Panel Two
CLOSE UP as BEN leans over and whispers in LOCKJAW�S ear. In captions, BEN tells us that he sure is lucky he�s got a teleportin� dog� And he�s also lucky that he was actually paying attention to all a� them art lectures ALICIA used ta drag him to�

Panel Three
Suddenly, LOCKJAW teleports the three of them away from New York in the daytime�

Panel Four
�to Paris at night, right outside the Louvre Museum. ALICIA is a little confused. Did it get cold all of the sudden? And are they near a tour group? It sounds like a bunch of people are speaking French�
BEN tells her that it�s all part of the surprise.

Panel Five
ALICIA smiles and tells BEN that it puts her in mind of when she was an art student in Paris. How she would often go to the Louvre Museum, and on a number of occasions they actually let her touch the Venus De Milo.
BEN sighs. So much for that idea�

PAGE 8
Panel One
BEN whispers to LOCKJAW again�

Panel Two
�and the three of them teleport away from Paris.

Panel Three
Cut back to NEW YORK in the daytime, and an establishing shot of the BAXTER BUILDING. In one of the windows we can see the flash of light from LOCKJAW�S teleporting effect, as the three of them have teleported inside.

Panel Four
BEN walks ALICIA down the hallway to REED�S lab. ALICIA asks how they got indoors. BEN says that he had LOCKJAW teleport them, because he thought it would make this leg of the trip go faster.
ALICIA is confused. This �leg� of the trip? Just where are they going?

Panel Five
As BEN opens the door to REED�S lab, he tells ALICIA that they�re not going to a �where�, they�re going to a �when.�
Inside the lab is DOC DOOM�S TIME MACHINE (and all the controls and switches to work it). All around the lab are big signs that read: �BEN, DON�T TOUCH� �THIS IS NOT A TOY!� �BEN, KEEP OUT!� �NO!� and �BEN, REMEMBER THE ALAMO!�

PAGE 9
Panel One
Cut to ALICIA as she looks a little nervous. She wants to know what BEN is up to. One of BEN�S hands reaches into frame and hands ALICIA an FF badge (like the kind BEN has on his belt). From off panel, BEN tells her that she�s gonna need one of these where they�re going�since it�s got one a Reed�s universal translators built in it.

Panel Two
BEN starts working a bunch of the dials and switches as he fires up the time platform. He tells ALICIA that he�s setting it for the Greek Isle of Melos around 130 BC. That should be about right.
He tells LOCKJAW to stay. He and ALICIA are gonna go on a short trip, but they�ll be back.

Panel Three
BEN takes ALICIA�S hand and walks her onto the time platform. ALICIA isn�t certain they should be doing this. BEN tells her not to worry. He�s gonna make sure that she has herself a birthday to remember.

Panel Four
The platform rises up to their waists. From the waist up, they�re still in REED�S LAB. But from the waist down, they�re in ANCIENT GREECE�.

Panel Five
�and when the platform clears their heads, they are ENTIRELY in ANCIENT GREECE!

PAGE 10
Panel One
DAYTIME, ANCIENT GREECE, AN OUTDOOR SCULPTURE GARDEN. THE MIGHTY HERCULES (sporting the hide of the Nemean Lion) poses for a sculptor who is sculpting HERC�S full figure likeness. The SCULPTOR is pleading with HERCULES to remain in one pose.
HERCULES says that if the SCULPTOR expects him to keep his focus while all 12 of his labors are immortalized, he shall need more drink!

Panel Two
HERCULES takes a break. He hefts a large barrel of wine over his head and chugs off of it. In the foreground, the SCULPTOR sighs�as he thinks that the wine is the reason HERCULES cannot focus.

Panel Three
Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, HERCULES rails that all this standing around does not sit well with him! Aye! What he wouldn�t give for a more suitable venture�a woman to woo, a war to be won, a monster to--

Panel Four
Over the shoulder shot as HERCULES spies THING & ALICIA nearby. DOC DOOM�S time platform is disappearing over their heads, and casting them in a heavenly glow.

Panel Five
HERCULES looks to the heavens, beams, and thanks Zeus for so graciously attending to his needs!

PAGE 11
Panel One
Cut back to BEN and ALICIA. ALICIA doesn�t think that they should be there. What if they alter the course of history?
BEN tells her to lighten up. He�s trying to show her how much she means to him. Why he�s bending time and space for her! He�d like to see anyone top that!

Panel Two
BEN takes ALICIA by the wrist and tells her that since they�re there, they can go find that statue she likes so much. Maybe even be there for when the guy makes it.
�How�s that for a birthday present, baby?�

Panel Three
ALICIA tries to pull herself away. She tells BEN that she doesn�t want to do this. And that she doesn�t want him calling her �baby.� She�s seeing ARLO now. Not him.
BEN starts to argue with her�

Panel Four
�when someone from off panel tells him to release the maiden.
The shadow of HERCULES falls across BEN, as BEN turns to face this stranger.
�Look, pal,� says BEN, �this ain�t none of your��

Panel Five
Reaction shot of BEN as he suddenly realizes that he�s face to face with HERCULES!

PAGE 12
Panel One
POW! HERCULES lays into the THING!

Panel Two
Like a boxer shaking off a solid hit, BEN tries to get his bearings. Nearby, Alicia calls out. She wants to know what�s going on.
BEN�S more than a little ticked off. He asks HERCULES why�d he go and do that? BEN thought they were old pals.
HERCULES laughs at such a thought. �Surely you jest, troll. For nay, I know you not!�

Panel Three
�I get it,� BEN grumbles, ��Cause a� time travel this�s probably the first time we ever��

Panel Four
But before BEN can finish his thought, HERC slams into him again, knocking him through (and demolishing) either trees or Greek columns.

PAGE 13
Panel One
Various Greek citizens come around (they�re all decked out in the togas and sandals, and one of them is the SCULPTOR from PAGE 10). They want to see what�s causing all the commotion.
One of the Greeks points towards HERCULES (who�s charging at THE THING in the background). The man yells out that everyone must come and see! The Mighty Hercules is about to dispatch another monster!

Panel Two
As the Greek citizens rush forward, they come across ALICIA. They wonder what kind of a person would wear such strange attire. ALICIA is blindly reaching out in front of her. She asks everyone what�s going on.
A person that�s close to her, points out that she�s blind.

Panel Three
BEN gets up on his feet, cocks back a fist, and gets ready to smack the oncoming HERCULES.
�It�s a good thing you ain�t gonna meet me fer another two thousand years!� BEN yells at him ��Cause that�s how long it�s gonna take ya to forgive what I�m about to do to ya!�

Panel Four
Cut to a crowd shot of ALICIA and the GREEKS, with ALICIA in the middle. �Here we go again,� she sighs, �This is where he says, �It�s Clobberin� Time���

PAGE 14
Panel One
BEN lays into HERCULES while screaming, �IT�S CLOBBERIN� TIME!�

Panel Two
MATCH SHOT of PAGE 13, PANEL FOUR, except now all the GREEKS are staring at ALICIA. They�re all marveling at how her �prediction� came true! Though she is blind, she possesses a second sight! Surely, she is one of the blind oracles!

Panel Three
One of the THING�S blows sends HERC crashing into a stack of his wine barrels!

Panel Four
HERC is pissed! Standing up, he is drenched in wine. And not only has it stained his hard-won hide of the Nemean Lion, but now he is out of a rare and precious vintage�one procured from his Uncle Dionysus! This �rocky troll� has much to answer for!


PAGE 15
Panel One
Instead of trading blows, the next time HERC charges the THING, he grabs on to him and begins to grapple.

Panel Two
Suddenly, HERC gets BEN in an advantageous hold�

Panel Three
�and hoists BEN up above his head!
While up in the air, BEN yells at HERC to put him down!

Panel Four
Cut back to the GREEKS and ALICIA. As she starts to crouch, ALICIA tells the others that this would probably be a good time to duck.

Panel Five
MATCH shot as all of the GREEKS duck with ALICIA� Right as BEN goes flying over their heads in a big orange blur.
One of the GREEKS nods in approval and mentions that this blind oracle is VERY good!

PAGE 16
Panel One
BEN goes smashing into the sculpture garden from PAGE 10, and we�ve just about come full circle to the scene from PAGE 1.

Panel Two
Cut back to the GREEKS as the SCULPTOR moans that those were his sculptures! Another GREEK comforts him.
�It is indeed a tragedy, Alexandros,� says the man comforting the SCULPTOR. ALICIA is shocked to hear this.

Panel Three
She turns to the SCULPTOR and asks him if he�s Alexandros of Antioch? He says he is. Does he know her?
�In the future,� she tells him, �you�ll be famous. It�s believed that you sculpted the Venus De Milo.�
THE SCULPTOR says that he is not familiar with that work.

Panel Four
Alicia takes a sigh of relief. Maybe it�s NOT one of the destroyed sculptures. Maybe he hasn�t sculpted it yet.

Panel Five
Then she realizes that she�s in ANCIENT GREECE. She asks him if he�s sculpted �The Aphrodite of Melos.� Because that�s what the VENUS DE MILO was called back then�
THE SCULPTOR nods. It was over there.
ALICIA is crestfallen.

PAGE 17
Panel One
As ALICIA heads off panel, HERCULES approaches the SCULPTOR.

Panel Two
HERCULES asks the SCULPTOR to forgive him for hurtling the rocky troll towards his workshop� and destroying his great works.

Panel Three
The SCULPTOR shrugs it off. He tells HERC not to worry. He just found out from the oracle that his fame will live far into the future.

Panel Four
The two of them look off panel as they hear ALICIA yell out �BENJAMIN J. GRIMM! What have you DONE?!�
HERCULES excuses himself, he must attend to yon fair maiden!

Panel Five
BEN & ALICIA are in the same position they were on PAGE 2, PANEL FIVE, as HERCULES approaches, ready for battle!

PAGE 18
Panel One
ALICIA yells at the two of them to stop�JUST STOP! Before any more damage is done.

Panel Two
HERCULES is confused. He thought he saw ALICIA trying to escape from the rocky troll�s unwanted advances?

Panel Three
ALICIA says that just because she said that BEN isn�t her boyfriend doesn�t mean that he�s not her good friend!

Panel Four
Helping the THING get to his feet, HERCULES apologizes for the misunderstanding. But still�he found the THING to be a challenging opponent. He tells the THING that they should spar again some time.

Panel Five
As HERCULES wanders off, BEN cracks his knuckles and grumbles that they�ll have a rematch all right! When he least suspects it! In 2006!

PAGE 19
Panel One
BEN stands the VENUS DE MILO back up. Looking a little sad, he asks ALICIA if she really meant what she said back there. About how he was just her good friend. And how he weren�t her boyfriend no more.

Panel Two
As the two of them stand there, with the VENUS DE MILO in between them, ALICIA tells BEN that that ship has sailed. There�s just too much history between them.

Panel Three
CLOSE UP on a sad ALICIA as she tells BEN that whatever they had�it�s just been broken so many times. She doesn�t know if it could ever be fixed again.

Panel Four
CLOSE UP on BEN�S hand as he takes one of ALICIA�S hands. From off panel, he tells her that just cause something is broken� just cause it ain�t perfect� Well that don�t mean that it ain�t beautiful.

Panel Five
We pull back as BEN places ALICIA�S hand on the VENUS DE MILO so she can feel it.
As he does this he tells her that sometimes those faults and flaws only add to how special something is�its story �its history. How sometimes that just makes it a classic.

PAGE 20
Panel One
The TIME PLATFORM appears on the ground nearby. And BEN walks ALICIA over to it. While they head towards it, BEN tells ALICIA that that�s what they are. A classic. Everybody knows it. They�re �Ben & Alicia�!

Panel Two, Three, Four, and Five
As the platform rises again, the camera stays in ANCIENT GREECE, so it simply appears that BEN & ALICIA are disappearing from the feet up to the head. Till all that�s left in the last frame�is the VENUS DE MILO standing on its own.

Panel Two
BEN tells ALICIA that they�ve got a love story that�ll last through the ages. They�re one of them timeless couples that�ll be around forever.
�Like Romeo & Juliet,� says BEN.
�Tristan & Isolde,� says ALICIA.
�Robin Hood & Maid Marion,� says BEN.

Panel Three
�Anthony & Cleopatra� says ALICIA.
�Minnie & Mickey� says BEN.
�John & Yoko,� says ALICIA.

Panel Four
They look at each other and smile as, at the same time, they both say, �Reed & Sue.�
�Ben & Alicia,� says BEN.
�Alicia & Ben,� says ALICIA.

Panel Five
SILENT PANEL (they�ve completely vanished).

PAGE 21
Panel One
Nighttime. REED & SUE walk in the door to the main residence of the BAXTER BUILDING. They�re both dressed for a nice evening out and wearing overcoats.
REED says he still doesn�t understand why SUE made up that story about a science symposium�
SUE says she had her reasons.

Panel Two/Large Panel
They come into the main room where they see BEN and ALICIA sacked out on the couch�each with one of the RICHARDS� children in their arms�
All four of them are asleep, and ALICIA is nestled up against BEN, her head resting against him. LOCKJAW is there too, curled up and asleep at BEN�S feet. (It�s just the perfect picture of love, home, and hearth.)
�See?� says SUE triumphantly.

Panel Three
REED has a question for her. He asks SUE how is it when he used the children to experiment with BEN�S behavior (back in THING #4) it was unacceptable�But it�s perfectly fine when she does it?
SUE tells him that it�s because there are some equations that she understands better than he does.

Panel Four
Suddenly, REED notices something SHOCKING outside the window. SUE nervously asks him, �What now?�

PAGE 22
This page plays out as a SPLASH with PANEL ONE and PANEL THREE being inset panels.

Panel One
With the �camera� outside the BAXTER BUILDING looking back at REED & SUE, the two of them look in shock (right at the reader).
�Oh no�� gasps SUE.
�Ben must�ve used the time machine again,� says REED.

Panel Two
SPLASH of NEW YORK CITY (with the BAXTER BUILDING dead center) at night.
All of history has been rewritten somehow so that the Greek Empire never fell. There are still skyscrapers throughout the city, but there�s NO sign of any art deco�and EVERYTHING is Greek�with lots of columns, friezes, and statues. (There can even be a prominent, giant Greek-style statue of BEN & ALICIA. And maybe one or two of HERCULES).

Panel Three
MATCH SHOT of Panel One, except now REED has one arm around SUE and another arm thrown up in the air as if to say �eh.� Instead of facing the reader, they�re both walking away.
�We�ll fix it in the morning,� says REED with a sigh.
THE END

[nick maynard]

how was i not aware of this thread earlier!

this is awesome.

[tom daylight]

It's still a bit of a paradox; Ben changed one thing (the Venus de Milo) that was meant to be changed yet also changed something (the Greek architecture in New York) that wasn't.

Although I suppose that's assuming that our timeline, where the Venus de Milo had no arms, was the original one and not just the newest one. (Are there any prior appearances of the VdM in Marvel Universe continuity before this? Not that it matters, I guess, since those comics might have been retroactively fixed by the time travel...)

[Spidey616]

Awesome Dan! I love that issue, but personally, i think my favorite issue of your Thing series was #4 w/ Lockjaw and Frankie and Valeria Richards. I don't know, I just love that one page of seeing all the things Frankie buys with his money, and of course Valeria is just adorable. "Horsey!" I just have to ask, was this issue inspired by any personally experiences with any of your own nieces and nephews?

I hope you start a thread devoted to your "Thing" series and give us some plots/storylines that never came to be. Like that story involving Thing beating the crap out of Shocker.

Hope you don't mind me beating you to the punch and posting "A:TI" #7 solicit. Are we coming to the end of the 1st arc when it was 1st proposed as a mini?

[tom daylight]

Tom Brevoort says the original mini would have had a one-issue WWH tie-in and then a two-part wrap-up arc, but now it's a two-part WWH tie-in and what was the "wrap-up" is now three issues long.

[Spidey616]

Hey Dan what's it like working with Fabian Nicieza seeing as how you used to be his intern back in your early days at Marvel.

Does it go without saying that you two have a good writing relationship as well as friendship? Did you have to communicate with him long distance when writing "GLI" or does he live close enough to the Marvel offices for you two to sit down together in 1 room and break it down?

I guess since this as inadvertantly become the Dan Sloot Q&A instead of Easter Eggs, which I hope pops up once your schedule become more manageable, who are your writing mentors and heroes in general? In the years since your first comic you wrote, (Mighty Mouse #10), what have you learned how do you think you've grown as a writer?

[Crimson]

Awesome Dan! I love that issue, but personally, i think my favorite issue of your Thing series was #4 w/ Lockjaw and Frankie and Valeria Richards. I don't know, I just love that one page of seeing all the things Frankie buys with his money, and of course Valeria is just adorable. "Horsey!" I just have to ask, was this issue inspired by any personally experiences with any of your own nieces and nephews?

I hope you start a thread devoted to your "Thing" series and give us some plots/storylines that never came to be. Like that story involving Thing beating the crap out of Shocker.

Hope you don't mind me beating you to the punch and posting "A:TI" #7 solicit. Are we coming to the end of the 1st arc when it was 1st proposed as a mini?

I want to hear the storyline he kept saying other writers were going "Damn! I wish I'd thought of that" or "That's amazing!".

Actually with Marvel Comics Presents I'm amazed he hasn't pitched the story again.

[Benny]

Hi, Dan! I remember that when I met you at a NY show back in 1994 or so (got signed the Ren & Stimpy issue where Ren steals Santa's files to blackmail people) that you described this concept for a twelve issue miniseries. As I recall, it would be about a guy who would be given a year to live by his doctors, and so decided to become a vigilante along the lines of the Punisher. And each issue, as he got sicker, and he got wounded in battle, he'd become more & more horrible looking. Each cover would have a new picture of him in the corner box, gradually showing him getting progressively worse month by month. Sounded humorously macabre. I'd certainly enjoy hearing a bit more about that.

[Dan Slott]

Hi, Dan! I remember that when I met you at a NY show back in 1994 or so (got signed the Ren & Stimpy issue where Ren steals Santa's files to blackmail people) that you described this concept for a twelve issue miniseries. As I recall, it would be about a guy who would be given a year to live by his doctors, and so decided to become a vigilante along the lines of the Punisher. And each issue, as he got sicker, and he got wounded in battle, he'd become more & more horrible looking. Each cover would have a new picture of him in the corner box, gradually showing him getting progressively worse month by month. Sounded humorously macabre. I'd certainly enjoy hearing a bit more about that.

Man, I really would like to do that someday.

At one point in time I pitched it to DC, but with a superhero-ish twist. And DC was interested. That pitch turned it into a 5 issue mini, with each issue structured after the K�bler-Ross stages of grief and loss: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. That pitch was sent in at the same time as my Arkham pitch-- and DC told me that they liked both, but they wanted me to do Arkham first. By the time Arkham was done, I was already working on the JLA arc-- and before that was finished-- I was under exclusive contract at Marvel.

Cut to a couple years later, I'm sitting at a Marvel retreat, Jeph Loeb is pitching the Death of Captain America mini-event, and JMS threw out the idea of structuring it after the K�bler-Ross stages of death. And I had to just sit there and bite my lip. Sometimes ideas are in the ether, waiting for people to find them. And JMS found it-- fair and square. And I got to be there to see the lightbulb go off over his head. :)

Ah well.

So scrap the superheroish version of the idea, eh?

Still would like to go back and do that original mini though. Heck, an editor at Marvel DID want to do it wayyyyy back then. Problem was, he got let go before the project was approved. And in the face of someone you like losing their job... losing an assignment seems trivial. BTW, I bumped into that former editor years later, and he was doing just fine.

[Crimson]

Hi, Dan! I remember that when I met you at a NY show back in 1994 or so (got signed the Ren & Stimpy issue where Ren steals Santa's files to blackmail people) that you described this concept for a twelve issue miniseries. As I recall, it would be about a guy who would be given a year to live by his doctors, and so decided to become a vigilante along the lines of the Punisher. And each issue, as he got sicker, and he got wounded in battle, he'd become more & more horrible looking. Each cover would have a new picture of him in the corner box, gradually showing him getting progressively worse month by month. Sounded humorously macabre. I'd certainly enjoy hearing a bit more about that.

Ah crap... there goes one of my pitches. Damn you Slott and your brain being 13 years ahead of mine! :mad:

[tom daylight]

Cut to a couple years later, I'm sitting at a Marvel retreat, Jeph Loeb is pitching the Death of Captain America mini-event, and JMS threw out the idea of structuring it after the K�bler-Ross stages of death. And I had to just sit there and bite my lip. Sometimes ideas are in the ether, waiting for people to find them. And JMS found it-- fair and square. And I got to be there to see the lightbulb go off over his head. :)


Ironically he'd already done it, in Spider-Man: The Other.

As for your "year-to-live vigilante" idea, some of that has also been done in an excellent three-part LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT story arc by Will Pfiefer and Chris Weston, a couple of years ago - I usually can't stand Batman but I really liked this one. (Picked it up because I'm a Weston fan.) #197-199.

[Dan Slott]

Ironically he'd already done it, in Spider-Man: The Other.

As for your "year-to-live vigilante" idea, some of that has also been done in an excellent three-part LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT story arc by Will Pfiefer and Chris Weston, a couple of years ago - I usually can't stand Batman but I really liked this one. (Picked it up because I'm a Weston fan.) #197-199.

Well, I'm not sure where the LOTDK issues fall time-wise, but this a pitch that Tom Brevoort and I made to Punisher editor, Don Daley, back in October of 1993. (Boy, do I feel old right now...)

Here's a redacted version of the first paragraph...

"******** finds out he has less then a year to live. He has a brain tumor. His doctors tell him he could go a month from now, or he could drop dead tomorrow. He walks home in a stupor, oblivious to the world, until he's pulled into an alleyway and held up at gun point.
Staring down the barrel, ******** suddenly realizes that it has no power over him. Hell, he's going to die anyway. He takes on the mugger, stealing his gun, and shooting him point blank. For the first time in his life, he has a purpose. He's got a gun and a year till he's dead; and he's not going alone. He's begun his **********!"

It's a basic idea, I'd be surprised if someone else DIDN'T hit it or come close to it honestly by now. That said, I think our take on it was pretty cool-- how we set up the supporting cast-- what the character's journey was going to be-- all the taboos we could break-- and all the twists and turns we could make.

In the end? It IS a project I'd like to come back to.

[Dan Slott]

Wow!

While digging through an old folder to find that info I put into that last post, I came across this...

A killed springboard for a back-up in the 1992 HULK ANUAL (or maybe it would have run in '93? Whatever the case, it was pitched AND approved in '92). Bobbie Chase, who was the HULK editor at the time, bought this off of me-- and I was raring to go on it-- but the FANTASTIC FOUR office killed it...

Here's the spring:

HULK ANNUAL
BACK UP IDEA
DAN SLOTT
9/14/92

THE ABOMINATION/"IN THE COMPANY OF THE MONSTROUS"
When we last saw the Abomination he was living among the homeless in the sewers beneath Manhattan...
Nightfall: the homeless that can double-up, watching over each other in their sleep. This never happens with the Abomination. Shunned and feared by even the most wretched, it's his lot to be ever alone. As he falls asleep, though, it's hard to imagine anything that could harm his 980 lb. frame.
He awakens in the twilight hours. His eyes open to find a horde of grotesque monsters staring down at him. Repulsed, he lashes out. There's hundreds of them. An epic battle breaks in the underbelly of the city. Streetside: buildings shake, power & water lines erupt, pavement cracks open swallowing up people, cars, and buses.
The Abomination fights at full fervor, but the odds are against him. Pinned down, he struggles to break free. One of the beasts rips out a jagged section of pipe and is about to skewer the Abomination through the head, when suddenly a whistle blows. All the monsters freeze in place as the Mole Man approaches.
The Abomination recognizes Mole Man from files he'd seen during his days of being a spy for foreign powers (probably from FF #1, when Mole Man destroyed some Iron Curtain installations). Abomination demands to know what this is all about. The Mole Man tells him that through his sources he found out about the Abomination's status and whereabouts. He and his minions tunnelled up to the sewers to offer him a new life.
They were going to ask the Abomination to come live on Monster Island, where he'd no longer be treated as a monster, but as an equal. But the Mole Man can tell by the Abomination's initial reaction of fear and disgust that he's not ready for Monster Island yet. Inside he's just like all the other surface dwellers. The Mole Man and his entourage leave the Abomination to his life in the sewers.
The Abomination walks back to his spot, knowing himself too much a monster to be among men, and too much of a man to be among monsters. He goes back to sleep.

So...

Why was this story killed? Because the FF office said I was portraying the Mole Man incorrectly. Apparently they saw Mole Man as so much of a recluse that he would never actively recruit monsters to come live on Monster Island with him.

When I pointed out that Mole Man had acted like this before, recruiting THE THING in FF #296, I was told to "drop it." Whatever reason they had wasn't important. Basically, they didn't like it, or me, or the color of my shirt. Or maybe they just ate a bad muffin that day. There was nothing Bobbie's office could do, so I should let it go. Ahhhh well... :-?

It was a very different Marvel back then. Offices were far more territorial about their characters and how they were used in other office's books. EVERY Marvel Character was put in the domain of one office or another. And any time a book wanted to use another office's heroes, villains, or supporting cast as guest stars "Character Approval Forms" had to be filled out and approved.

If that system were still in place today, I can't even begin to guess how many headaches I'd have working on cameo and guest star heavy books like SHE-HULK and AVENGERS THE INITIATIVE. :eek:

[tom daylight]

Well, I'm not sure where the LOTDK issues fall time-wise, but this a pitch that Tom Brevoort and I made to Punisher editor, Don Daley, back in October of 1993. (Boy, do I feel old right now...)


Yeah, it was really recent, and distinctly different to your pitch (so I don't believe one was inspired by the other) - I don't want to tell you how though, because it's a really good story and I don't want to spoil it for you.

[Benny]

It was a very different Marvel back then. Offices were far more territorial about their characters and how they were used in other office's books. EVERY Marvel Character was put in the domain of one office or another. And any time a book wanted to use another office's heroes, villains, or supporting cast as guest stars "Character Approval Forms" had to be filled out and approved.



As a reader, that was one of my least favorite periods in Marvel's publishing history. All the groups of characters were all off in their own little corners of the Marvel universe, almost completely segregated from everyone else. It really gave the publishing line a disjointed feel.

I am not saying I would want to see the Avengers and the X-Men meet every other month. But I always liked more subtle nods to continuity, like when you would have Xavier call up Reed Richards on the phone for a couple of panels to discuss some invention that Forge was whipping up for the X-Men, or Wolverine fighting Psycho Man for one story as a break from the usual armies of Hand ninjas, or the Thing's poker games, where you'd have members of the Avengers, X-Men, and who knows who else show up for a hand or two. Stuff like that. It always made things more colorful.

I'm glad that after "Heroes Reborn" Marvel went back to having that atmosphere of shared continuity.

[Spidey616]

As long as we're on the subject of comic projects you hope to do someday, Dan, you still have any interest in your "What if...." story for Marvel? What about that "Choose Your Own Story" comic that would have to be book sized?

[Crimson]

As long as we're on the subject of comic projects you hope to do someday, Dan, you still have any interest in your "What if...." story for Marvel? What about that "Choose Your Own Story" comic that would have to be book sized?

Would that be like thos kids books that were all the rage 10 years ago? Where you choose to go to page 10 or page 201, depending on your choice?

I'd imagine that would do pretty well in bookstores with the younger audience. Giving it a bit more of an interactive feel.

[Dan Slott]

Hi!
If this is the first time you've been to this thread, here's a quick index so you can find all the Easter Eggs! :)

Plot for a dead issue of PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL
(Marvel paid for it, had it penciled, inked, and colored. But never saw print).
http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showthread.php?t=114294

5 Pages of Plot & 5 Pages of Script from the BATMAN ADVENTURES #12 back-up story.
(For any of you who want to see how an ol' dinosaur writes "Marvel Style")
http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showpost.php?p=2731134&postcount=7

My Take On Pitching Springboards-- and Dead BATMAN BEYOND springs.
(Learn from my mistakes. What NOT to do when pitching springs.)
http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showthread.php?t=114294&page=2

Plot for all of SHE-HULK #2
('Cause someone requested it. And I liked it.)
http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showpost.php?p=2748632&postcount=14

My Eerie Speedball Prediction from 1991
(It�s spooky how dead on I was�)
http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showpost.php?p=3103348&postcount=19

My Bad Habit #1
(Some of the custom action figures I own�)
http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showpost.php?p=3338382&postcount=32

My Bad Habit #2
(More of the custom action figures I own�)
http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showpost.php?p=3339702&postcount=35

Plot for THING #7
(My favorite thing I wrote in 2006)
http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showpost.php?p=3343876&postcount=38

Killed spring from an INCREDIBLE HULK annual
(And insights into how characters were "shared" by different offices in the 90's.)
http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showpost.php?p=3859355&postcount=50

And there you go! :)

And I should have a reeeeeally cool, all-new Easter Egg up pretty soon. So be sure to keep an eye on this thread, okay?
ttyl
Dan

[Dan Slott]

a very special Easter Egg feature:
THE ARKHAM ASYLUM: LIVING HELL
Ryan Sook Sketchbook

I was gabbing with Ryan Sook last week-- about this n' that-- and at one point I asked him if he'd mind if I ran some of his pre-production Arkham Asylum sketches. Not only did he say it'd be all right-- he said he'd get a kick out of it. Luckily, I'm a super-pack-rat who NEVER throws anything away...

So...

Here for your viewing pleasure, here comes the best darn Easter Eggs this thread has ever seen!

This is a promo piece that Ryan did for the book. It was cross-purposed, with sections of it used in clip art to promote the project. It didn't see print in its entirity until the release of the AA:LH TPB. Here, for the first time, is the original in B&W!


http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/DanSlott/AALHColor.jpg

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/DanSlott/AALHBW.jpg

When the release date of the first issue was looming, a choice had to be made for who would do the cover art. In the end we were honored to have Eric (THE GOON) Powell on covers. Though Ryan had submitted, what I thought, were some amazing designs-- which included his own cool idea for both a trade dress and logo.

Here are Ryan's proposed covers for AA:LH #2 and #6. I really think these are AWESOME!


http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/DanSlott/ark2coversketch.jpg
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/DanSlott/ark6coversketch.jpg

Before starting work on the book, Ryan did BEAUTIFUL character studies on all of our new characters and leads. This is the first time anyone outside of the AA:LH has really seen them...

Warren White, "The Great White Shark", a.k.a. "Fish"
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/DanSlott/Fish.jpg

Humpty Dumpty (notice the different civillian name, I switched it to Humphry Dumpler by the time I went to script)
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/DanSlott/HumptyDumpty.jpg
You'll also notice a note about a lobotomy scar. In my original outline, Humphry was going to get lobotomized-- or possibly trepanned. This would've given him the visual of a "cracked egg" by the series end.

Jane Doe (Boy, did Ryan nail this! Ain't she CREEPY?!)
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/DanSlott/JaneDoe.jpg

The Junkyard Dog (If I hadn't been kicked off BATMAN ADVENTURES, my next arc would have included a DC ADVENTURES UNIVERSE version of this character-- in a pretty weird story...)
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/DanSlott/JunkyardDog.jpg

Doodlebug
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/DanSlott/Doodlebug.jpg

Death Rattle
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/DanSlott/DeathRattle.jpg

Aaron Cash, the stalwart guard of Arkham. A gold star for the first person to figure which actor we were basing him on. :)
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/DanSlott/Cash.jpg

And the pi�ce de r�sistance! My favorite sketch Ryan did for this project...
Humphry Dumpler as a wee lad.
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/DanSlott/younghumphry.jpg
If memory serves, Ryan's wife had this made into a T-shirt. :)

Thanks again to Ryan for letting me run these!
Some day, my friend, when the stars align we'll FINALLY get to do ARKHAM 2! (Seriously! We had all 6 issues planned out! And they're SO good!)
ttyl
Dan

[John Drake]

Those are REALLY cool.

[Crimson]

Finally got to read Arkham (and Big Max) and it was such a creepy story... when Fish is the fridge and eek!

Have any of the characters appeared since? I really liked them.

[Dan Slott]

Gail Simone has used Humpty Dumpty a couple of times.
But the BIG thing that came out of Arkham was that for a nice stretch of time, Warren White was the Crimelord/Kingpin of all of Gotham in ALL of the Bat-Books! Pretty nifty!

[Patrick King]

I got ahold of Arkham Asylum 2-6 (they didn't have 1 at the place I found them), and I gotta say that was a CREEPY story. Incredibly fun though.

[Joe Henderson]

I LOVE Arkham Asylum--such a great story, and Sook's art is just wonderful. Thanks for posting all the easter eggs--awesome stuff.

[changingshades]

Damn I need to get this.

[Spidey616]

As soon as I heard about the Joker shower prison scene, I got the TP as soon as I could. Man, I can't believe no one ever thought of using the Joker like that before. One of my favorite panels. :)

As for what actor was the basis for Aaron Cash, I'll venture a guess and say Forest Whitaker. Am I close?

[mrorangesoda]

Aaron Cash, the stalwart guard of Arkham. A gold star for the first person to figure which actor we were basing him on. :)


Ving Rhames?

If you ever go back to DC, I'd buy an adventures of Young Dumpty book.

[Spidey616]

And Aaron Cash is modeled on.....LAURENCE FISHBURNE!!!

[Arion]

Those are REALLY cool.

Indeed . I love the characters design .

[Dan Slott]

BLACKJACK: THE AMAZINGLY FANTASTIC ADVENTURES OF ACE & ONE-EYED JACQUIE
From Pitch to Plot to Script

AMAZING FANTASY #15
BLACKJACK PITCH
Dan Slott
7/7/05

�Blackjack� is the codename for two secret agents, ACE and ONE-EYED JACQUIE. Together they work for an international espionage unit, G.R.A.M.P.A., the Global Reaction Agency for Mysterious Paranormal Activity. Unbeknownst to the rest of us, the men and women of GRAMPA keep us safe from surreal and bizarre perils that threaten our planet on a daily basis.
At its heart, BLACKJACK is an update of THE AVENGERS (Steed & Peel�not Cap, Thor, & Iron Man) by way of Hong Kong cinema and set in the Marvel U. Lots of gunplay, casual cool heroes, mixed in with comic book universe absurdity.

For the sake of the AF #15 project, instead of doing an 8pg. short story, I was wondering if we could do four 2pg. stories instead? Each BLACKJACK installment would be a double-page layout, like a big Sunday Funnies feature. Plots would be great, big, over-the-top brouhahas that would play out in breakneck speeds�taking up the space of two old-school Twinkie ads. You know how some fans are complaining about �decompressed� stories? Well, these would be �hypercompressed� ones!
The smaller space could also give us a chance to play around with both format and experimental storytelling techniques�trying out tricks that might not hold up when played out for more than two pages. Like stories that read differently when held up to a mirror�or when laid out on a Mobius Strip�or when read up/down instead of left/right.

Right now, my basic ideas for two of the stories are:

�Blackjack Vs. Utopia�
Aliens seek to contain the spread of humanity by ending famine, war, and disease�and giving us everything we�ve always wanted. In order to �save� us, ACE & JACQUIE have to destroy the aliens' Utopia-machines, and return us all to our regular, miserable selves. But it�s for our own good, since society can only move forward and grow when we�re all discontent.

�You Say You Want An Evolution�
ACE & JACQUIE have to stop a mad scientist from sending a �time bomb� back in time to subvert the evolutionary process. The problem is, for the entire story�ACE & JACQUIE are dinosaur-people and the mad scientist is a human. When he SUCCEEDS�ACE & JACQUIE are transformed into humans� and the mad scientist becomes a monkey. But everyone�s memories are addled, so everyone thinks that ACE & JACQUIE won� even the mad scientist-monkey.

AMAZING FANTASY #15
THE ADVENTURES OF BLACKJACK
PLOT for four 2pg. stories
Dan Slott
7/21/05

BLACKJACK is a two-person team-- secret agents that are a modern day updating of THE AVENGERS (the 60's spy show with STEED & EMMA PEEL-- and NOT Cap, Thor, and Iron Man).
They work for a secret agency called G.R.A.M.P.A. (The Global Reaction Agency for Mysterious Paranormal Activity). The insignia for this group (which would be displayed on their vehicles and equipment) is a globe of Earth, placed inside a Penrose Triangle, with the letters GRAMPA running around the edges.
The Penrose Triangle is an "impossible object." Reference for it can be seen here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Penrose_triangle.png

The two-person team of BLACKJACK consists of:

ACE
ACE is a man of average build in a gray 3-piece suit and tie. He wears gloves and a Mexican wrestling mask. His mask has a large SPADE (the suit from a deck of cards) on it. It covers his entire forehead and the stem of the spade goes across the bridge of his nose. There is a large white "A" in the inverted heart of the Spade-- kind of like CAPTAIN AMERICA'S "A".
ACE is very prim and proper-- even when he's shooting someone with his twin pistols.

ONE-EYED JACQUIE
JACQUIE is a sultry sexpot in a black leather body suit and thigh-high boots. The suit is sleeveless and has revealing holes, showing off her slender hips and navel. Her hair is golden blonde, straight, and ends with two rows of stylized curls-- like the hair on the JACK OF SPADES playing card. And, as her name suggests, she wears an EYE PATCH (over her left eye). The EYE PATCH sports a SPADE emblem.
JACQUIE is a tease-- in a cute, coquettish way-- not at all slutty or sleazy. Where ACE has two pistols, JACQUIE will often be found firing one very LARGE gun, rifle, or even a bazooka-- some kind of firearm that's usually large enough to sport a GRAMPA emblem.

TRUST ME, THIS'LL BE FUN!
In the space of 8 pages you'll get to draw London, New York, and Tokyo. There'll be vampires, dinosaur-people, a giant alien, robots, and monkeys! Not to mention outer space satellites, jetpacks, bazookas, and the Ark of the Covenant! What's not to love?

BLACKJACK in "Heavy On Action, Light On Plot"
PAGE 1
Panel One
In a circular inset panel, we see a nice money shot of ACE & JACQUIE-- something and JAMES BOND-ish with ACE standing all cool and casual, his gun drawn, and JACQUIE seductively leaning against him, her gun drawn , its barrel pressed against her pouting lips.
If you want, they can be standing on a spade, in a Penrose Triangle, or a blank background.
Over the top of the inset panel, running along the curve is the logo: BLACKJACK
Below the inset panel, running along the curve is the title: in "Heavy On Action, Light On Plot"

Panel Two
It's midnight and ACE and JACQUIE are running along the streets of LONDON, guns drawn. Behind them are a mob of vampires (your typical, modern day, dressed all in Goth clothes vampires). We can clearly make out the first few vamps, the rest are just a loosely defined mob.
In a caption box a narrator introduces us to ACE and ONE-EYED JACQUIE, top agents of G.R.A.M.P.A., the Global Reaction Agency for Mysterious Paranormal Activity.

Panel Three
As JACQUIE gracefully vaults the fence to a nearby park (or outdoor football/soccer field), ACE follows her, but turns back to fire a few rounds into some approaching vamps! The bullets rip into them-but really do no
harm whatsoever-they're just average bullets and these ARE vampires.
In a caption box, the narrator brings us up to speed-how in this, their latest adventure, ACE & JACQUIE have lured out the largest Vampire nest in the United Kingdom.

Panel Four
We pull back as the horde of vampires chases ACE & JACQUIE into the open field. There's hundred s of them, and they're swarming around ACE & JACQUIE, surrounding them.

Panel Five
We zoom back in, ACE & JACQUIE are back to back, guns ready-and they're surrounded on all sides by approaching vamps.
In the foreground, the lead vampire laughs. He tells them that there's nowhere they can run to now, nowhere they can hide!

Panel Six
Close up on ACE as he holds up a small device with an antennae, a red light, and one simple button. As he clicks down on it and the red light goes on, ACE tells the head vamp that he's got it all wrong. Actually, there's nowhere for THEM to hide.

PAGE 2
Panel One
Cut to a satellite in Earth's orbit, it's in a trajectory where it can see the Sun rising. On the sattelite we can clearly see the GRAMPA logo, and a red light that's now blinking.
Large mirrors start to unfold from the satellites armatures.

Panel Two
The satellite reflects a strong beam of light from the sun-all the way to another satellite which is hovering over the dark side of Earth-and then THAT satellite reflects the beam down towards England.

Panel Three (the Big Money Shot)
Down on Earth, it's a strange sight in the field around ACE & JACQUIE as a hundred yards of sunlight encompasses them, frying all of the vampires, and yet-in the distance, the rest of London remains in nighttime.

Panel Four
Cut to GRAMPA HQ as ACE & JACQUIE'S boss (a distinguished elder statesman with large sideburns that flow into Victorian-style mutton chops) is at his desk and talking through an intercom. On the wall behind him we can see the large GRAMPA logo (a globe of Earth, placed inside a Penrose Triangle, with the letters GRAMPA running around the edges).
The head of GRAMPA asks them if everything's all right. Did the device work? And can they shut it off now?

Panel Five
Cut back to the field where ACE (still in his 3 piece suit) has prepared of lovely picnic. He's on a blanket next to a picnic basket-with a lovely dish of cream and strawberries laid out. As he pours some champagne into two glasses, he tells GRAMPA that they're not quite done with their midnight sunshine. not just yet.
Next to him, ONE-EYED JACQUIE is in a two-piece bathing suit, sunning herself with a tanning reflector.
THE END

BLACKJACK in "Held Up to Reticule"
PAGE 1
Panel One
Downtown Tokyo, TERMINUS (the big Galactus-level baddie from FF and THE AVENGERS), is knocking down buildings and causing widespread panic. Tanks and army vehicles are overturned on the street. TERMINUS laughs at us wee pitiful humans! Nothing can stand against him! This planet is doomed! DOOMED!
Leave room for LOGO and TITLE: BLACKJACK in "Held Up to Reticule" On either side of the logo we can see an ACE of SPADES and a JACK OF SPADES (with the JACK having JACQUIE'S face).

Panel Two
On the street, one of the soldiers points to two figures approaching by jetpacks! It's ACE & JACQUIE! And one of them is carrying a strange metal satchel/briefcase.
The soldier screams for his men to fall back! Forget TERMINUS! The agents of GRAMPA are here! Run for your lives!!!

Panel Three
As ACE & JACQUIE land on a nearby rooftop, we can clearly see the satchel-it bears the GRAMPA logo.
In the background, the gigantic TERMINUS bellow out. He demands to know why such a fuss is being made over these two tiny mortals!

Panel Four
On the rooftop ACE & JACQUIE initiate "Protocol Zero"! They each place their thumbprints on different sides of the satchel (like nuclear silo operators each presenting a launch key). Their thumbprints and voiceprints match. "Protocol Zero" is in effect! The locks on the satchel click open.

Panel Five
In a reveal, we look into the satchel as it opens. There in a special housing is THE ULTIMATE NULLIFIER: the DEADLIEST WEAPON in the Marvel Universe!

PAGE 2
Panel One
Money shot of JACQUIE as she aims THE NULLIFIER right at the reader. She orders TERMINUS to stand down IMMEDIATELY!

Panel Two
TERMINUS freaks out. He knows of the dreaded ULTIMATE NULLIFIER! He raises his hands, telling the mortals to not make any rash decisions. He yields!

Panel Three
Later, the sun is going down as TERMINUS sits there-knees on the ground, hands clasped behind his head. In the distance, two massive helicopters fly in-airlifting in the world's largest handcuffs.

Panel Four
Later still, back at GRAMPA HQ, ACE politely holds a door open for JACQUIE (who is carrying the ULTIMATE NULLIFIER and casually spinning it around as if it was a wild west pistol).
On the door is a GRAMPA logo and a face plate that reads, "Prop Room".

Panel Five
Inside is a room full of prop weapons-but not just ANY fake weapons-these are props of the deadliest weapons in the Marvel U. There's a shelf full of ULTIMATE NULLIFIERS, another for COSMIC CUBES, for SERPENT CROWNS, and even INFINITY GAUNTLETS. Also, along the room, there are other famous "MacGuffins"-we can see a couple MALTESE FALCONS and a sled that says "Rosebud."
In the foreground, ACE & JACQUIE sit on an ARK OF THE COVENANT (right out of RAIDERS) and toast each other with matching HOLY GRAILS.
"Props to you, Ace," says JACQUIE.
"No dear," says ACE, "Props to you."
THE END

BLACKJACK in "Evolved Sensibilities"
PAGE 1
Panel One
In a circular inset panel, we see a MATCH SHOT of the first panel from "Heavy On Action, Light On Plot"- except this time, for no good reason, ACE & JACQUIE are dinosaur-people. JACQUIE is still in the same seductive pose and still wearing her leather body suit-and she still has her full head of hair. Everything is identical-except they look like dinosaur-people.
Over the top of the inset panel, running along the curve is the logo: BLACKJACK
Below the inset panel, running along the curve is the title: in "Evolved Sensibilities"

Panel Two
At GRAMPA HQ, ACE & JACQUIE'S BOSS is talking into his intercom. He still has his large mutton chops, but now. he's a dinosaur-man-an elderly, well-mannered, British dinosaur man.
Talking into the intercom he asks ACE & JACQUIE if they've located KING SAPIEN yet?
Over the airwaves, ACE replies that they have-and that he's already armed the device!
Their BOSS greenlights them for an incursion! GO! GO! GO!

Panel Three
ACE and JACQUIE (who are dinosaur people as well) leap from one New York City rooftop down towards another.
Behind them, in the city skyline we can see billboards of dinosaur-people selling popular products. This is obviously a dinosaur-person world.

Panel Four
DINOSAUR-ACE and DINOSAUR-JACQUIE come crashing through a skylight and into a mad scientist's hi-tech lab! The mad scientist (KING SAPIEN) and his henchmen look up in surprise-and oddly enough-all of them are HUMAN.
One of the henchmen yells out, "It's Ace and Jacquie! Agents of GRAMPA!"

Panel Five
As ACE & JACQUIE fight the henchmen, KING SAPIEN runs into the foreground (right at us, the reader). He orders him men to keep the GRAMPA agents busy! He has to activate the device!

Page 2
Panel One (Please leave LOTS of room for copy)
KING SAPIEN starts turning dials and flicking switches on a giant Jack-Kirby-style machine. While he does this he "monologues" about what this device is and what it will do. It's a "Time Bomb"-a fiendish device that will send deadly explosions back through time-all the way to Primordial Earth-endangering all of Earth's evolutionary process!
It's his ultimate revenge for the Dino-Men's treatment of his species! Locking them up in zoos! Treating them as test subjects and objects of ridicule!
And with that, he gets ready to click the last switch.

Panel Two
DINOSAUR-ACE fires an explosive round towards the machine.

Panel Three
There's a big explosion! Everyone is backlit as the machine goes up!

Panel Four
When the smoke clears, ACE and JACQUIE are humans again-and KING SAPIEN and all of his henchmen are now monkeys (though still wearing monkey versions of all their clothes).
JACQUIE commends ACE on his shot! He's saved them all! (It appears all of history has changed, but none of them are any the wiser-even the mad scientist-monkey.)

Panel Five
Later, as ACE & JACQUIE lock KING SAPIEN (who's now called KING SIMIAN) back in his cage in the Bronx Zoo, KING SIMIAN curses them (yes, he's a talking monkey).
He swears that NEXT time his plan will succeed! Just wait!
JACQUIE jokes to ACE, she wants to know what grounds they have for locking up a monkey.
ACE tells her that he broke one of the biggest laws ever.
"And that would be?." she asks.
"Darwin's, of course," he replies.

BLACKJACK in "Happy Ending"
PAGE 1
Panel One
We open on the British country side. People happily wait in line as they make their way to a UTOPIA CENTER-a high-tech complex where NON-THREATENING, FRIENDLY, PEACE-LOVING ROBOTS provide people with whatever they need.
Everyone in line is well dressed, happy, and looks as if they want for nothing. They've got all kinds of iPods, gizmos, toys-whatever they want. And everybody is being nice to each other.
The ROBOTS of the UTOPIA center go up and down the line telling people that soon they'll be helped-one at a time. In the meantime, is there anything they can do for them? Any drink of their choice? Balloon animals for the children? Anything.
Leave room for LOGO and TITLE: BLACKJACK in "Happy Ending" On either side of the logo we can see an ACE of SPADES and a JACK OF SPADES (with the JACK having JACQUIE'S face).

Panel Two
Suddenly, ACE & JACQUIE come barreling in over the hillside! They're driving a cool, convertible HUMMER with a GRAMPA logo on the hood.
ACE is driving and JACQUIE is standing up with a bazooka-like device up on her shoulder!
JACQUIE yells for everybody to get clear!

Panel Three
The ROBOTS yell for them to stop! Not the UTOPIA CENTER! What are these crazy humans doing?!?
But it's too late! JACQUIE has already fired her bazooka! The missile blasts through the air-with a smoky contrail going all the way back to the sexy spy.

Panel Four
People scream as the UTOPIA CENTER is destroyed!

Panel Five
ACE & JACQUIE go to work, pulling out their guns and firing away at the ROBOTS, blowing them apart.
The ROBOTS are scared and confused! Why would they destroy this UTOPIA CENTER?
While he blasts them away, ACE tells the ROBOTS that they're not just destroying THIS center. This is an organized strike! AGENTS OF GRAMPA are destroying EVERY center around the globe!

PAGE 2
Panel One
As one of the ROBOTS lies on the ground he explains that they were sent to Earth as a gift! As the ROBOT talks, ghosted behind him we see an image of space ships approaching Earth.

Panel Two
As the flashback continues, we see how UTOPIA CENTERS gave everything Earthlings ever wanted-they ended war, famine, poverty, racial hatred.

Panel Three (please leave lots of room for copy)
Out of the flashback, JACQUIE stops the robot's speech by grinding what's left of his head with the heel of her boot.
As she does this she tells the ROBOT that that's the point! The ROBOTS' alien masters were afraid of humans growing, achieving, spreading out across the stars and encroaching on their empire.
ACE agrees. The ROBOTS gave Earthlings everything they wanted. But to advance man NEEDS to be discontent! Through adversity and hardship is how mankind THRIVES!

Panel Four
Standing in the smoking ruins of the UTOPIA CENTER, the crowd of now shaken and disturbed humans gathers. They yell at the secret agents! What have they DONE?! Some of them chant, "We HATE you, Ace and Jacquie!"

Panel Five
In a circular inset panel ACE & JACQUIE wave back to the crowd and tell them to USE that discontentment! It's for their own good!
THE END

AMAZING FANTASY #15
BLACKJACK SCRIPT
Dan Slott
9/27/05

Note to Dave:
Dave, I really need your help on this one. With the BLACKJACK stories we're telling a LOT of story in VERY small spaces. I'm trying to keep the script VERY copy light-- as not to cover up too much of Pete Woods' gorgeous art. I'm really going to need some of your magic to help pull this off!
Thanks,
Dan.
BTW-- Credits will go on PAGE 8. Thanks again!

PAGE 1
Panel One
TITLE: BLACKJACK in THE WINNING HAND
CAPTION (w/rounded corners): Case #538: Terminus� attack on Tokyo
TERMINUS/BRST: Pitiful microbes! Surrender your planet, or I shall CRUSH YOU ALL!

Panel Two
SOLDIER: Forget Terminus! Look! Agents of G.R.A.M.P.A.!
SOLDIER: Run for your LIVES!

Panel Three
(This balloon can be placed breaking up into Panel Two�so as to avoid covering ACE, JACQUIE or the container they�re carrying).
TERMINUS: HA! You fear THESE tiny specks?! Why?

Panel Four
JACQUIE: Care to show him, Ace?
ACE: Very well. Initiate PROTOCOL ZERO!
ACE: Authorization: Ace.

Panel Five
JACQUIE: And One-Eyed Jacquie.
COMPUTER-VOICE FROM CASE: Stand by.

Panel Six
SFX: Bleep

Panel Seven
SFX: Boop

Panel Eight
SFX: Tsss

Panel Nine
COMPUTER-VOICE FROM CASE (Please place in upper right corner): Protocol Zero has been sanctioned. Proceed with caution.
JACQUIE: Ooh. May I?
ACE: I insist.

PAGE 2
Panel One
JACQUIE: Alien invader, this is your ONLY warning!
SFX (WEAPON SFX, running diagonally from behind Panel Two to past the edge of the upper right corner of the page): HHRRMMMMM

Panel Two
JACQUIE: Down on your knees! Hands behind your back! NOW!
TERMINUS: The ULTIMATE NULLIFIER?! No! Please!

Panel Three
TERMINUS: I- I yield.

Panel Four
CAPTION (Upper Left Corner): Later, back at G.R.A.M.P.A.* headquarters�
JACQUIE (from inside the base): Ace? Just how many times HAVE we pulled that off�
CAPTION/SMALL TYPE (Lower Right Corner): *Global Reaction Agency for Mysterious Paranormal Activity.

Panel Five
JACQUIE: �without firing a shot?
SIGN ON DOOR (please leave original lettering�so that it matches w/ coloring): PROP ROOM
ACE: Don�t know. I�m drawing a BLANK.

Panel Six
SMALL TEXT ON THE WOODEN SLED ON THE WALL: Rosebud
ACE: Cheers. Props to you, Jacquie.
JACQUIE: Props to you, Ace. Say, is that the Holy Grail?
ACE: There�re three more in the cupboard. Help yourself.
TEXT (Lower Right Corner): End

PAGE 3
Panel One
LOGO (with the characters� heads popping in front of it): BLACKJACK
TITLE (under the inset circle): in
�Heavy On Action,
Light On Plot�

Panel Two
CAPTION (w/rounded corners): Case #714: On the run from every Vampire in London

Panel Three
JACQUIE: If it�s not a bother, could we go through it again?
ACE: Certainly. Let�s see�
ACE: There�s wooden stakes, decapitation, garlic, holy water�

Panel Four
JACQUIE: Silver bullets?
ACE: For werewolves? Yes.

Panel Five
ACE (connected to the balloon from the previous panel): Vampires? No.

Panel Six
ACE: Oh. And we mustn�t forget the BIG ONE.
JACQUIE: The Big One?�
MAIN VAMPIRE: Enough! That was quite the chase�

Panel Seven
MAIN VAMPIRE: �but it�s over. Look around.

Panel Eight
MAIN VAMPIRE: There�s nowhere you can run. No place to hide.

Panel Nine
ACE: Funny�
SFX (pushing button): Bleep

PAGE 4
Panel One
SFX (ABOVE SATELLITE): Boop

Panel Two
SILENT

Panel Three
SILENT

Panel Four
ACE: �I was about to say the same thing.
SFX (VAMPIRE SCREAMS ALONG THE BOTTOM OF THE PANEL): YEAARGHHH
MAIN VAMPIRE: SUNLIGHT?!

Panel Five
VAMPIRE: B-but HOW?!

Panel Six
JACQUIE: Easy, luv. It�s all done with mirrors.
RADIO TRANSMISSION (BRST W/ NO TAIL): Ace? Jacquie?

Panel Seven
GRAMPA: This is GRAMPA. Come in.
GRAMPA: Did the device work? And may we switch it off now?

Panel Eight
JACQUIE: Please, sir, not just yet.
ACE: After all, we�re still enjoying our moment in the sun.
TEXT: End

PAGE 5
Panel One
LOGO (with the characters� heads popping in front of it): BLACKJACK
TITLE (under the inset circle): in
�You Say
You Want an
Evolution?�

Panel Two
GRAMPA: Ace? Jacquie? Come in.
JACQUIE/TRANSMISSION (brst w/ no tail): Jacquie, here, Grampa.
CAPTION (w/rounded corners�in lower right corner): Case #803: In progress�

Panel Three
JACQUIE: We�ve located the evo-terrorist. And we believe he�s armed the WMD.
JACQUIE: Starting our incursion-- NOW! Jacquie Out.

Panel Four
ACE: Hold it right there, King Sapien!
KING SAPIEN: ACE and JACQUIE?!
KING SAPIEN: Get them, my Primateers! Keep them busy, whilst I�

Panel Five (all balloons stacked or butting against the bottom of the panel)
ACE: You�ll do NOTHING, Sapien! You�re under arrest by the authority�
ACE: �of the Global Reaction Agency for Mammal/Primate Affairs!
KING SAPIEN: Is that so?

PAGE 6
Panel One
KING SAPIEN: Let�s see how long your authority lasts�
KING SAPIEN: �once my TIME MACHINE dumps this devolving agent into Earth�s PRIMORDIAL OOZE�
KING SAPIEN: �And drops YOU and YOUR KIND down to MY rung of the evolutionary ladder!

Panel Two
ACE: Not on my watch! Firing EXPLOSIVE ROUNDS!
SFX: BANG

Panel Three
SILENT

Panel Four
ACE: Nice try, King Simian. But too little, too late.
JACQUIE: Good shot, Ace!
KING SIMIAN: No! My plan was perfect! It should have worked!

Panel Five
CAPTION: Later, at the Bronx Zoo�
KING SIMIAN: Just you wait, Ace! Next time I WILL succeed! I�ll devolve you ALL!
ACE: Silly monkey, that�ll never happen�

Panel Six
ACE: Not as long as the law�s on my side.
JACQUIE: And which law would that be?
ACE: Darwin�s, of course.
TEXT: End

PAGE 7
Note: Please keep �Centre� with British spelling. Thanks.

Panel One
TITLE: BLACKJACK in HAPPY ENDING
CAPTION (w/rounded corners): Case #999: Classified
LARGE ROBOT: Welcome, Humans. The Utopia Centre is now open!
MEDIUM-SIZED ROBOT: Everything you want is inside. And all of it is FREE!
TINY ROBOT: Drinks while you wait? Umbrellas in every color!

Panel Two
ROBOT: All for you! All in the name of friendshi�
OLD MAN: Eh? What�s that?
GIRL: Oh no! It�s�

Panel Three
GIRL/CAP: ��agents of G.R.A.M.P.A.!�
VANITY LICENSE PLATE ON JEEP: GRAMPA
SFX: VRMMM

Panel Four
JACQUIE: Everyone, CLEAR OUT!
JACQUIE: FIRE IN THE HOLE!

Panel Five
BIG SFX: KCHOOM

Panel Six
ROBOT GETTING HEAD BLOWN OPEN: They destroyed the Utopia Cent-aargh
ROBOT GETTING CHEST BLOWN OPEN: But WHY? Rrghzz�

Panel Seven
JACQUIE: Not just THIS Utopia Centre!
ACE: This is an organized strike! Agents of G.R.A.M.P.A. are taking out EVERY centre around the globe!

PAGE 8
Panel One
ROBOT: B-but we mean n-no harm.

Panel Two
ROBOT: We came as g-gifts�
ROBOT/CAP: �from b-beyond the stars. We would have h-helped you�
ROBOT/CAP: �p-p-put an end to war, disease, and f-f-famine!

Panel Three
ROBOT: G-given you ANYTHING you ever w-w-want�
SFX: BANG

Panel Four
JACQUIE: Exactly. But to advance man NEEDS to be discontent!
ACE: Through adversity and hardship is how mankind THRIVES!

Panel Five
SFX (BIG TEXT/PEOPLE SHOUTING): What have you done?!
SFX (BIG TEXT/PEOPLE SHOUTING): You ruined it!
SFX (BIG TEXT/PEOPLE SHOUTING): We HATE YOU, Ace and Jacquie!

Panel Six
ACE: Good, you�re miserable.
JACQUIE: Use it!

CREDIT BOX (please use the LOGO for BLACKJACK):
--The Amazingly Fantastic Adventures of BLACKJACK have been brought to you by�
(Credits go here)

[tom daylight]

Bring back BlackJack! (Preferably with Woods!)

[Sam Johnson]

Hey Dan, quick question. I know you write "plot" (i.e. without finished dialogue) to give the artists more room for interpretation, but I was just curious as to what the thinking is behind breaking down your scripts into panels. I know most writers do that today, but I for one can't contemplate handling the visual side of things in a script. Does that help you to visualise the action, or do you draw thumbnails to plan your script or what? Just curious to know.

[Spidey616]

Hey, Kirkman and Pak brought Monstro and Mastermind Excello back through their Marvel books, so there's got to be an opportunity for Blackjack to appear in A:TI and/or ASM :D and how about the rest! Like Positron, the Heartbreak Kid, The Great Video, and my favorite- THE GUY IN SPIDEY'S ARMPIT

With A:TI debuting Taskmaster, I heard you had a cool pitch idea with him and his photo reflexes in relation to certain characters like Iron Fist and Spider-Man. Any chance you still have it and could dig it up and post it on this thread.

[Jones]

Thank you so much for this Dan! Really great of you to take the time.
Here's my quick question...you say to only submit a springboard or synopsis...but is it ok to submit an open-ended synopsis? That is, the idea for the first part (or issue) of a story or arc? Or the the springboard have a beginning, middle and end?

Thanks again.

[Dan Slott]

Thank you so much for this Dan! Really great of you to take the time.
Here's my quick question...you say to only submit a springboard or synopsis...but is it ok to submit an open-ended synopsis? That is, the idea for the first part (or issue) of a story or arc? Or the the springboard have a beginning, middle and end?

Thanks again.

You never know what's going to work as a good pitch for ANY editor. But it's probably a good idea to have a WELL THOUGHT OUT ending for WHATEVER story you're going to pitch.

'Cause heaven help you if they DO buy it-- and when you deliver the script, your ending fizzles. :Oops:

Oooh, I wouldn't wanna be in your shoes if that happens. :scared:

Even if your editor doesn't ask for it, you need to work your story out. :Ponder:

Just in case. :)

[Jones]

Thanks so much...you're definitely my new favorite creator. ;-)
Really, I have sooooo much respect for someone in your position who still takes the time to do this.

I'm sending out an inquiry letter today...so I guess I'll see you around the office in a few weeks.

Thanks again

[Dan Slott]

Easter Egg: Killed BATMAN ADVENTURES Plot

Hi.
I haven't put up a new Easter Egg in a while. (Sorry!) So how's this...

Back in the day when I was co-writing BATMAN ADVENTURES with Ty Templeton, we came up with a fun/funky way of writing a monthly 22 pg. comic together:

4 issues arcs. 2 self-contained stories an issue: a 17 page lead and a 5 page back-up. Each back-up would complement/flesh-out a story element from the lead. And, though each issue could stand on its own, all four would link together to tell a larger story that would culminate in the fourth.

It was a tricky set-up. But we liked the challenges that it created. We did 3 full arcs like this and were very happy with the results. The two of us worked out the basic ideas of each issues, but one of us would be responsible for the four leads, the other for the four back-ups. And at the start of each arc, we'd switch.

Now let me tell you, writing a 5 page story is tough. There's not much room to move, you have cut everything to the bone, and you have to focus on ONE thing/through line. In the end it can be a lot of fun.

Writing a 17 page lead-- that has to modularly fit with 3 other 17 page leads-- and provide a jumping off point for a small back-up story? Now THAT'S a b*tch! And, what BOTH of us found, was that we'd need a LOT of help from the "back-up" guy. In each arc, inevitably, the lead writer would ask the back-up writer to scrap ONE of their story ideas-- and use that space to tell a short story that would fill in a gap FOR the lead story.

In our second arc, I had to ask Ty to scrap a story he was working on to do a 5 pager of Batman and Batgirl taking down the Sportsmaster. I'm not going to get into the why... as I'm already rambling enough as it is... So I'm just going to say I needed it to make my next issue work.

When we were working on the first arc, Ty REALLY needed a short story that showed Batman using his detective skills to figure out the location of Ra's Al Ghul's secret base. The short I ended up writing came out REALLY good, so I couldn't complain. But...

I had already written, re-written, and re-re-written my 5 pager for that issue. It explained (what I thought) was a fun gap in the first arc: If Ra's Al Ghul put a contract out on ALL of Batman's enemies, why hadn't we seen anyone go after Catwoman? The resulting story showcased a fun throw down between two of Batman's key romantic rivals: Selina and Talia. And it set up one of the villains for my next arc: Bronze Tiger (who hadn't been seen yet in the DC Adventures Universe).

But what can you do? We each had a "Get out of Jail Free" card, and that's where Ty needed to use his. So I scrapped my Selina/Talia short-- and instead did a nifty short about Batman using his fearsome visage and his scientific knowledge to locate Ra's Al Ghul's HQ.

Which is a VERY long winded way of saying:
Here's my scrapped Catwoman short.
Enjoy.
:bats:

BATMAN ADVENTURES #4
�CAT�S GAME�
PLOT for 5pgs.
Dan Slott
11/5/02
1st REVISION
11/14/02
2nd REVISION
12/10/02

PAGE ONE
PANEL ONE
INT. THE EGYPTIAN WING OF A GOTHAM CITY MUSEUM, NIGHTTIME. CATWOMAN (in full costume and night vision goggles) drops in through a skylight�

PANEL TWO
�And prepares to steal a golden, jewel encrusted mask of the Egyptian goddess, Bast.

PANEL THREE
As CATWOMAN goes about her task, THE BRONZE TIGER (the League of Assassin�s greatest agent�who we�ve yet to see depicted in �Adventures� style) emerges from the shadows. CATWOMAN is firmly in his sights�

PANEL FOUR
MONEY SHOT. He lunges at her! CATWOMAN springs out of the way JUST in time. THE BRONZE TIGER�S claws completely demolish the pedestal the mask was resting on. Its rubble and its shadow, WILL EISNER like, forms the story�s title.
TITLE: CAT�S GAME

PAGE TWO
PANEL ONE/BORDERLESS
In a montage sequence, we see image after image as the BRONZE TIGER and CATWOMAN squaring off. (Think of those great mini-figures they do in the pages of the monthly CATWOMAN comic).
Though CATWOMAN may be an excellent thief, her fighting skills are nowhere near THE BRONZE TIGER�S. He IS the world�s greatest assassin�and she is in for the fight of her life! (Ty�if you�d rather have the story�s title HERE, the two of them could by fighting around the giant letters of the story�s title �Cat�s Game).
During the course of this fight, CATWOMAN drops the mask of Bast.

PANEL TWO
Seeing no profit in the fight�and a GOOD chance that she could lose, CATWOMAN decides to make a run for it. She leaps towards a window, her body braced to break through it�.

PAGE THREE
PANEL ONE
Suddenly, iron shutters slam down�

PANEL TWO
�and as CATWOMAN slams into them, she receives a powerful electric shock! This has been a well-prepared trap.

PANEL THREE
CATWOMAN slumps down on the floor, momentarily stunned and immobile.
In the foreground, THE BRONZE TIGER readies a deadly shuriken. He tells CATWOMAN that this has all come to pass as HIS contribution to RA�S AL GHUL�S gift. She shall bother THE BATMAN no longer.

PANEL FOUR
CLOSE UP of CATWOMAN as she helplessly watches the shuriken hurtling straight at her head.
�The camera� is tracking right behind the shuriken, speed lines racing off its outer edges�

PAGE FOUR
PANEL ONE
MATCH SHOT OF THE PREVIOUS PANEL. The shuriken comes to a sudden stop, inches from CATWOMAN�S head. A crossbow bolt sticks out of the wall, its shaft going through the hole in the shuriken�s center. It�s a one in a million shot�a shot of unbelievable skill!

PANEL TWO
THE BRONZE TIGER spins around, ready to strike. A shadowy, crossbow-wielding figure drops down through the open skylight and into a shaft of light. It�s TALIA!

PANEL THREE
THE BRONZE TIGER kneels down before her, acknowledging TALIA as the Daughter of the Demon�s Head, and current leader of The League of Assassins.
TALIA admonishes THE BRONZE TIGER. Neither she nor her father wishes to see CATWOMAN harmed. TALIA tells the TIGER that he will be punished for his �initiative�� later.

PANEL FOUR
The iron shutters open up, casting the room in a different light.

PANEL FIVE
THE BRONZE TIGER jumps through one of the windows and takes off. Shaking off the effects of the electric shock, CATWOMAN gets to her feet. She asks TALIA why she butted in, especially when she had a chance to get rid of �the competition.�

PAGE FIVE
PANEL ONE
TALIA explains that if CATWOMAN had perished at the hands of one of the League�s assassins, it would forever drive a wedge between herself and BATMAN. Alive, however, CATWOMAN is no �competition.�

PANEL TWO
CLOSE UP on TALIA. Her lips curl into the slightest of smiles.
�Your Batman,� she explains, �is MY beloved, both in and out of his mask. We our destined to be together. You, however, are just a lowly thief� �beneath his notice and mine.�

PANEL THREE
Seething, CATWOMAN stands framed in the broken window, intent on leaving...
�Fine,� says CATWOMAN, �Go on and think of him as your �property�.�

PANEL FOUR
�We all know what I do to other people�s property,� purrs CATWOMAN as she snatches up the mask of BAST.

PANEL FIVE
SILENT PANEL. TALIA watches CATWOMAN, her ill gotten gains in hand, bound off into the night.

THE END.

[Dingo]

These easter eggs are great Dan!

Thanks!


(Why am I yelling everything?!)

[Dan Slott]

Easter Egg: My very DEAD JLA ADVENTURES meet the NEW GODS story.

You can have the best story in the world (or THINK that you have the best story in the world... which is kind of like the same thing) and if no one buys it, well... that's it. Finito. Kaput.

This is the fate of most stories. But for some reason, it's a little more frustrating when you're THIS close to selling it, and have worked for the company/office/book in question and that particular door IS open to you... when it just comes down to a matter of not quite synching up with the editor's personal tastes.

In the end, THIS story-- which I really LOVED-- didn't happen for a number of reasons:
1) I'd already sold a number of stories to this title, and they were trying to make it more of a "stepping stone" kind of book, letting young turks get in their first shots and letting well-respected vets ply their trade again. I'd already had 4 shots, so it wasn't really fair for me to get a fifth.
2) The editor thought it was too much of a "kitchen sink" story, throwing in too much stuff. But I LOVE doing exactly that, whenever I can, and I didn't want to cut any of it. The editor entertained fleshing it out MORE and making it a two-part story, which I started to take a crack at, but...
3) My time was filling up elsewhere on other projects and...
4) In all honesty, the editor "just wasn't feeling it".
5) On top of that, as time went on, the NEW GODS (the issue's guest stars) started showing up in the JLA cartoon-- and knocked a lot of this right out of any possible JLA ADVENTURES continuity.

But trust me, #4 was the real killer. :(
You can't have a hit every time.
And, even when you FEEL like you have one, sometimes you can't always hit it right with the editor.

Ah well...

Here's the JLA ADVENTURES tale for you, but with one caveat.
When I show you this stuff in the Easter Eggs section, I do it because these stories are DEAD and pretty much unusable. This story, however, had two REALLY GOOD character beats (one for GREEN LANTERN and another for the MARTIAN MANHUNTER). And these are beats that I know, somewhere down the line, I can get a lot of mileage out of.

I was debating about whether or not to run this piece at all, but decided that if I REDACTED the beats, you'd still be able to read most of the story and (hopefully) like it. I'm VERY sorry if that's frustrating for you-- and I completely understand. But yours truly does have to make a living-- and some ideas are hard to come by. Again, sorry about that. :)

With that in mind, here we go...


JLA ADVENTURES INV.
"FOURTH WORLD'S FINEST"
PAGE & PANEL BREAKDOWN
DAN SLOTT
6/4/01

PAGE ONE/SPLASH
We open on the rooftops of Metropolis. An enormous BOOM TUBE bursts open and out comes HAWKGIRL, WONDER WOMAN, SUPERMAN, THE FLASH, and BATMAN! Each of them is carrying one of Earth's prominent religious leaders (a wide spectrum of faiths are represented).
SUPERMAN tells the various holy men not to worry. He knows they've just been through a grueling ordeal, but it's over now. They're home!
(On either side of the SPLASH PAGE we run ROLL CALL HEADSHOTS for both the JLA and this issue's guest stars, THE NEW GODS).

PAGE TWO
PANEL ONE
CLOSE UP on SUPERMAN as he brings us up to speed in a flashback panel. It seems that the JLA has just wrapped up one of their biggest adventures yet!
In his quest to find the anti-life equation, DARKSEID abducted Earth's religious leaders-- hoping to find the answer hidden somewhere inside Earth's spirituality.
But, as always, the JLA put a stop to his schemes.

PANEL TWO
Back in the present, WONDER WOMAN looks to the holy man she helped rescue, the head of the Greek Orthodox Church.
This priest, however, will have nothing to do with her. She steadfastly insists that she's the daughter of the amazons of Greek myth. His church does NOT acknowledge her existence.

PANEL THREE
WONDER WOMAN stares at the man dumbfounded. She knows where she comes from! And by Hera, here she stands!

PANEL FOUR
An excited FLASH races into frame. The Pope blessed his boots! Ain't that cool?
SUPERMAN stops him in his tracks. He tells FLASH that these people represent the sacred beliefs of countless cultures. The JLA needs to be on their best behavior...

PANEL FIVE
...and show proper respect!
Behind them, another BOOM TUBE hums to life.

PAGE THREE
PANEL ONE
From out of this BOOM TUBE a collection of NEW GODS come flying out: ORION, LIGHTRAY, MR. MIRACLE, BIG BARDA, and METRON! They too are bringing back more religious leaders of Earth.

PANEL TWO
HAWKGIRL and other Leaguers go over and thank the NEW GODS for their help. She's sure they couldn't have pulled off this rescue without them!
In the foreground, BATMAN looks around. He doesn't see any sign of GREEN LANTERN or THE MARTIAN MANHUNTER.

PANEL THREE
"Weren't they with you?" asks the easy going LIGHTRAY. In stern contrast, the dark and brooding BATMAN declares that "They didn't make it out!"

PANEL FOUR
SUPERMAN tells ORION that the JLA doesn't leave men behind. He needs him to fire up another BOOM TUBE!
ORION not only activates his MOTHER BOX, but he pledges the NEW GODS' help as well. They'll find his friends, even if they must go the very ends of the Fourth World!

PAGE FOUR
PANEL ONE
Establishing shot of PLANET APOKOLIPS. A caption box tells us that three days have passed....

PANEL TWO/MONEY SHOT
In the alleys of the ARMAGHETTOS, HAWKGIRL and BIG BARDA are beating the hell out of the FEMALE FURIES!

PANEL THREE
A savage HAWKGIRL grabs one of the fallen FURIES by the collar. She cocks back her mace ready to strike. She demands to know where LANTERN and J'ONN are!
None of the FURIES will talk. They don't know anything! And even if they did, they'd never tell! They're far more afraid of their lord, DARKSEID, then they'll ever be of the JUSTICE LEAGUE!

PANEL FOUR
Close up on BARDA. She hopes that her husband, SCOTT is faring better....

PAGE FIVE
PANEL ONE
Establishing shot of GRANNY GOODNESS' ORPHANAGE.

PANEL TWO
Close up on a gloating GRANNY. MR. MIRACLE and BATMAN had tried to infiltrate the orphanage. They knew that if JOHN and J'ONN had been captured, they'd probably be taken here for brainwashing and reprogramming.

PANEL THREE/MONEY SHOT
We pan around to see that not only did their plan fail, but the two heroes have been captured as well.
And now, strapped to a giant rocket-death-trap, both BATMAN and MR. MIRACLE are going to be launched into space and then destroyed!

PANEL FOUR
GRANNY hurls a switch...

PAGE SIX
PANEL ONE
...and cackles as the rocket launches, blasting up into the night sky above Apokolips!

PANEL TWO
As BATMAN and MR. MIRACLE struggle against both their shackles and increasing g-forces... We pan past their heads to see the planet, NEW GENESIS, hanging in the night sky.

PANEL THREE
We zoom in closer to NEW GENESIS to see two streaks of color circling the planet at incredible speeds-- one yellow, the other red.

PANEL FOUR/MONEY SHOT
FLASH and LIGHTRAY are racing along the surface of NEW GENESIS, searching high and low for any trace of JOHN or J'ONN.

PAGE SEVEN
PANEL ONE
As they race along, they pass THE FOREVER PEOPLE riding on their SUPER-CYCLE. Have they seen the missing JUSTICE LEAGUE members?
They haven't. But they'll keep looking as well!

PANEL TWO
As they continue to race along NEW GENESIS, the light-hearted LIGHTRAY can't help but fly a few corkscrews and barrel-rolls.
FLASH turns and snaps at him.
"What's the matter with you?!" he barks at him, "C'mon get serious!"

PANEL THREE
FLASH can't BELIEVE that he just said that (or that he's met someone flightier than himself!).
He apologizes, saying that he's just a little on edge. His friends are missing! For all he knows, they could be dead....

PANEL FOUR
Still as cheerful as ever, LIGHTRAY tells the FLASH that it should be easy to find out if his friends are dead. They just have to ask the BLACK RACER.
LIGHTRAY is pretty certain that he saw him when they raced past the southern continent....

PAGE EIGHT
PANEL ONE
LIGHTRAY and THE FLASH race into a lush oasis where the BLACK RACER, the Fourth World harbinger of death, is tending to an old, dying lion. He has come to accompany its soul on the next part of its "journey."

PANEL TWO
In the same cheerful manner that he asked the FOREVER PEOPLE, LIGHTRAY asks the BLACK RACER if he's seen JOHN or J'ONN.
"No," the RACER tells him, "I haven't."

PANEL THREE
CLOSE UP on the RACER as he says, "Not yet."

PANEL FOUR
As the RACER takes off into the night sky (heading towards APOKOLIPS), LIGHTRAY smiles at the FLASH.
"See," he tells FLASH, "Your friends aren't dead."
A deeply troubled FLASH mutters to himself that this place is SO WEIRD!!

PAGE NINE
PANEL ONE
Establishing shot of DARKSEID'S stronghold. The firepits of APOKOLIPS flare up along the horizon.

PANEL TWO
Inside, SUPERMAN, his costume tattered and torn, is being attacked by hordes of DARKSEID'S minions: KANTO, KALIBAK, DOCTOR BEDLAM, and STEPPENWOLF.

PANEL THREE
With a mighty shrug, SUPERMAN flings them all off!

PANEL FOUR/MONEY SHOT
Though battle damaged and weary, SUPERMAN makes his way to DARKSEID'S throne, where DARKSEID himself sits-- majestic and, perhaps, a little bored.
SUPERMAN demands to know where his friends are! DARKSEID has had more than his share of the LEAGUE. He neither knows nor cares about SUPERMAN'S latest "belly ache."

PAGE TEN
PANEL ONE
He tells SUPERMAN if he truly wants information-- he should simply ask his "guide."
DARKSEID gestures to METRON, the NEW GOD who accompanied SUPERMAN.
After all, METRON is the NEW GOD of knowledge. He has ears and eyes all over the Fourth World.

PANEL TWO
SUPERMAN is both angered and dumfounded. He approaches METRON, floating nearby on his MOEBIUS CHAIR.
"You've known where they were all this time?!" he asks.

PANEL THREE
"Yes." METRON tells him, "But I never give information freely. I only trade."

PANEL FOUR
"Anything!" SUPERMAN yells, "What do you want?!"
METRON tells SUPERMAN that he possesses information lost to the ages.

PANEL FIVE
METRON will reveal JOHN and J'ONN'S location in exchange for the myths of Krypton.
"FINE!" SUPERMAN tells him.
"Very well," says a calm METRON, "start at the beginning please. What are the Kryptonian myths of creation�?"

PAGE ELEVEN
PANEL ONE
Meanwhile, far below in the subterranean depths of APOKOLIPS...
ORION and WONDER WOMAN make their way across a vast land bridge suspended over rivers of bubbling lava.
Segueing from the previous scene, WONDER WOMAN is asking ORION about the origins of the NEW GODS. She was told that these "NEW GODS" came into existence when the "old gods" died. This confuses her, because she has frequently been in contact with the "old gods"-- and she can vouch that they are not only alive, but thriving.

PANEL TWO
ORION stops her. He tells her that he knows what he believes. And isn't his existence proof enough for her? (Which strangely echoes WONDER WOMAN'S own theological argument with the holy man on PAGE TWO).

PANEL THREE
WONDER WOMAN changes the subject. She asks ORION where they are now.
ORION tells her that the subterranean tunnels of the Fourth World are home to a race of "bugs." But where the "bugs" on NEW GENESIS are merely annoying foragers, the "bugs" of APOKOLIPS are far more bestial and godless in nature.

PANEL FOUR
Turning a corner, WONDER WOMAN sees something awe-inspiring ahead of them.
She points ahead and tells ORION he may have to rethink just how "godless" these bugs really are!

PAGE TWELVE
PANEL ONE/MONEY SHOT
In a great cavern, the subterranean bug-men of APOKOLIPS are praying to a giant, living BUG GOD!
WONDER WOMAN and ORION look on in shock as a group of these bug-men are about to offer the god a sacrifice-- a chained and helpless GREEN LANTERN!!!

PANEL TWO
ORION plows into the bugs about to sacrifice GL, while WONDER WOMAN catches him and prepares to break him free!

PAGE THIRTEEN
PANEL ONE
With her amazing strength, WONDER WOMAN rips free the chains holding GL captive. While she does this, she asks him what happened.
As GREEN LANTERN tells her, the panel frames bleed into flashback borders...

PANEL TWO
GREEN LANTERN imparts how he and J'ONN were covering everyone else's escape. But before they could enter the BOOM TUBES, J'ONN was set upon by PARADEMONS...

PANEL THREE
...and dragged into one of the FIRE PITS!

PANEL FOUR
Screaming in agony...

PANEL FIVE
...J'ONN passed out, and plummeted towards the planet's surface-- showing no signs of life and stuck in his ghostly, intangible form!

PAGE FOURTEEN
PANEL ONE
GREEN LANTERN watched in horror as J'ONN's intangible form fell right through the surface of APOKOLIPS itself!

PANEL TWO
Creating a giant green-energy drill, GREEN LANTERN raced after him, tearing and digging up earth in his wake!

PANEL THREE
He tunneled deep into APOKOLIPS, following as fast as he could. But the previous adventure had taken too much of a toll on him. His ring was running out of power, and he hadn't recharged it in some time.

PANEL FOUR
With his ring's energy depleted, GREEN LANTERN tried to brace himself as the very tunnel he had created, came crashing down around him.

PANEL FIVE
The force of the rubble not only knocked him through to these subterranean passages, but left him unconscious as well.
And that is how the bugs found him.

PAGE FIFTEEN
PANEL ONE
Back in the present, WONDER WOMAN tells GL to look for cover. She'll protect him until they can get back to Earth and recharge his ring!
GL will have none of it. He's a trained soldier. And [REDACTED GREEN LANTERN BEAT]...

PANEL TWO
[REDACTED GREEN LANTERN BEAT]

PANEL THREE
[REDACTED GREEN LANTERN BEAT]

PANEL FOUR
[REDACTED GREEN LANTERN BEAT]

PANEL FIVE
As JOHN STEWART [REDACTED GREEN LANTERN BEAT], WONDER WOMAN joins him-- awed at his courage and filled with newfound respect.

PAGE SIXTEEN
PANEL ONE
High above the ARMAGHETTOS, MR. MIRACLE surfs through the air on his aero disks and BATMAN glides down on a bat-chute. Behind them is an epic explosion as the bomb they were supposed to be strapped to explodes!

PANEL TWO
As they land MR. MIRACLE starts to explain the elaborate and clever way he got out of that latest death-trap, but BATMAN doesn't care.
He tells MR. MIRACLE that that's not important right now. They have to stay focused.

PANEL THREE
Frustrated, MR. MIRACLE turns to BATMAN and asks him if he could at least explain how HE got out of HIS side of the trap...
Again BATMAN cuts him short. There's not time. He points to an energy pulse building up nearby. If he's not mistaken, it looks like the transportation signature of METRON'S amazing MOEBIUS CHAIR!

PANEL FOUR
In a burst of energy METRON and THE MOEBIUS CHAIR appear-- as well as SUPERMAN, BARDA, HAWKGIRL, LIGHTRAY, and FLASH, who are all holding on and linking their hands together.

PAGE SEVENTEEN
PANEL ONE
BATMAN asks SUPERMAN what's going on. SUPERMAN tells him that they know where JOHN and J'ONN are!

PANEL TWO
BATMAN and MR. MIRACLE link up with the others as the chair begins to teleport again.

PANEL THREE
Same as before. In a match shot, everyone is in the same position as they were in PANEL TWO, but now the background has changed to that of the subterranean caverns from PAGE TWELVE.

PANEL FOUR
Meanwhile, WONDER WOMAN and GL fight off the bug-men and ORION readies his ASTRO-FORCE. He prepares to blast away the giant bug-god. In reaction the bug-god flails its massive tentacles-- it is an awesome and frightening display!
The newly arrived JLA & NEW GODS jump into the fray to join their comrades.

PAGE EIGHTEEN
PANEL ONE
Before ORION can take his shot, HAWKGIRL flies in and tries to hold him back. Surprised, ORION asks her why she would have him stay his hand?
HAWKGIRL yells out that it's because THAT bug-god is J'ONN!!!

PANEL TWO
In a quick flashback panel, METRON explains that when J'ONN'S intangible form fell from the bug's "heaven," they believed it to be their god...

PANEL THREE
...and as they started to pray to it, their thoughts overwhelmed the mind-addled telepath and shape changer...

PANEL FOUR
...and he changed into the god they WANTED him to be!

PAGE NINETEEN
PANEL ONE
BATMAN tells the others that the real problem is the power of these bugs' faith. If they're going to save J'ONN, they're going to have to take out his "worshippers"!

PANEL TWO/MONEY SHOT
While HAWKGIRL, ORION, and SUPERMAN hold J'ONN (still in his BUG-GOD form) at bay, EVERYONE ELSE takes on the horde of bug-men!

PAGE TWENTY
PANEL ONE
At super-speed, FLASH and LIGHTRAY take out all the remaining bug-men as the others tend to J'ONN.
Floating above them all in his MOEBIUS CHAIR, METRON points out that their efforts are working. Without his "worshippers" concentrating their thoughts on him, J'ONN is taking on the shape of a formless lump.

PANEL TWO
SUPERMAN is concerned for J'ONN'S safety. What can they do to save him? WONDER WOMAN tells him that they have to [REDACTED MARTIAN MANHUNTER BEAT]

PANEL THREE
ORION hands his MOTHER BOX to BATMAN. He tells BATMAN that the power of MOTHER BOX will [REDACTED MARTIAN MANHUNTER BEAT]


PAGE TWENTY ONE
PANEL ONE
[REDACTED MARTIAN MANHUNTER BEAT]

PANEL TWO
[REDACTED MARTIAN MANHUNTER BEAT]

PANEL THREE
[REDACTED MARTIAN MANHUNTER BEAT]

PANEL FOUR (LONG HORIZONTAL PANEL/SILENT)
We watch as J'ONN'S form shifts and changes from a shapeless lump into something closer and closer to his true form...

PANEL FIVE
[REDACTED MARTIAN MANHUNTER BEAT]

PANEL SIX
[REDACTED MARTIAN MANHUNTER BEAT]

PANEL SEVEN
[REDACTED MARTIAN MANHUNTER BEAT]

PANEL EIGHT (LONG HORIZONTAL PANEL/SILENT)
We watch as J'ONN'S form finishes his transformation as he changes into his Martian form... and finally his MARTIAN MANHUNTER form!

PAGE TWENTY TWO
PANEL ONE
All J'ONN'S friends crowd around him. They're so happy to see him again. J'ONN smiles, but he says there's something important that he has to do.

PANEL TWO
J'ONN addresses the bug-men. He says something in a strange alien tongue, and they all begin to pray again.

PANEL THREE
As all the heroes gather around the MOEBIUS CHAIR and prepare to teleport back to Earth, ORION asks J'ONN what he said to them.
J'ONN tells the assembled group that for all their powers, nothing compares to the power of faith. And who is he to take such a thing away from them?

PANEL FOUR
As they begin to disappear, WONDER WOMAN asks J'ONN just what is it that HE believes in.
"I believe in you," J'ONN tells them, "I believe in my friends."

PANEL FIVE/SILENT PANEL
With all the heroes gone, the bug-men continue to chant and pray.
THE END!

[Spidey616]

Here's something I found on another message board.

Pictures of Dan Slott back when he did Marvel tours and had....HAIR!:scared:

We luv ya Dan ;)

http://onfinite.com/libraries/1358662/1c5.jpg

[Amedeo]

Here's something I found on another message board.

Pictures of Dan Slott back when he did Marvel tours and had....HAIR!:scared:

We luv ya Dan ;)

http://onfinite.com/libraries/1358662/1c5.jpg

Proof that this Dan Slott is a Skrull.

[Slewo.O]

Proof that this Dan Slott is a Skrull.

Man I wish I could meet Dan Slott in his hairier days. Time travel we need to invent it like right now!

[joefixit2]

Man I wish I could meet Dan Slott in his hairier days.

Just look at his back. Hey-O!!!!!!

[Dan Slott]

Here's something I found on another message board.

Pictures of Dan Slott back when he did Marvel tours and had....HAIR!:scared:

Ah. I remember that day. That was right before I gassed up the Edsel so I could take Betty-Sue to the sock-hop. Good times. :)

[Scott Mateo]

Does Marvel still do tours?

[Arion]

Does Marvel still do tours?

Not anymore, I think.

[TonyEsmond]

You cant judge all art all at once. It is so dependant on the artist and the inker.

[Dan Slott]

Saw this over on the Marvel site...

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/DanSlott/bblaster.jpg


:scared: Y'know, in my day, that's what we called the editor...:scared:


JUST KIDDIN'!!!

And on that note, I better get back to work!
(Or else...)
ttyl
Dan
:spidsens:

[Dave Horvath]

Nice!

[Dan Slott]

Hi.
In the course of traveling around the internet, I often find that people have over-simplified my views/past history of where I stand on the subject of illegal downloads. So... I thought I'd leave an easy to find (and/or link to) copy of this comprehensive statement I made some time ago...

You'd like to hope that when people discuss things over the internet they do so with an open mind and are willing to accept new ideas and other points of view-- as opposed to rigidly sticking to one side no matter what.

A while back I took a very public and strict stance against illegally downloading entire comics over the internet.
While I was doing this-- I WAS downloading TWO types of media:
1) TV shows which were out of circulation and not available on DVD.
2) International TV shows and movies which were not available for sale on American region DVD players.

I did this with the knowledge that WHENEVER material I'd downloaded became available in the States I IMMEDIATELY purchased those shows/movies/boxsets-- and I've got a wall full of the American releases of British and Japanese DVDs to back that up-- as well as boxsets of American shows that took awhile to be released.

While I was passionately arguing my case about comics-- it was pointed out to me that if I REALLY wanted to-- I could BUY a foreign region DVD player AND international DVDs when they came out in their respective markets-- I had no counter argument for that. THAT was a good point. I conceded and STOPPED downloading shows all together. That was a few years back and I've still stuck to it.

People's views can (and for a proper cause should) change. I hope that during the course of this thread I can convince some of you to see my point of view when I put forth simple, cogent arguments for how downloading affects myself and other creators-- and our potential FUTURE incomes. While that's a concept that might seem intangible to some of you-- for comic book creators (not the highest paid jobs on the planet) it's a VERY real and deeply PERSONAL concern as we try to budget for ourselves and our family's expenses and quality of life. Whatever you may think about any creator's skill, talent, ability what-have-you-- we ARE people, this is our JOB, this is what brings us income, food, shelter, security, and helps us provide for our loved ones. If you consume the product we've produced-- if you were compelled to experience the unit of entertainment we worked on-- and you read it ALL THE WAY to the last page-- we DID our job-- and it's my belief that we fulfilled our part of the understood contract between the storyteller and the audience. If the audience does an endrun on that pact by denying their patronage-- that's not very ethical. The fact that in some cases it's EASY to skip that step does not mean that it's RIGHT or that it's an ENTITLEMENT. Comics are fun. To the audience they're not a necessity-- like food or clothing. But for creators, it DOES provide those things-- and the promise of FUTURE food and clothing-- when the audience HONORS their part of that contract.

Everyone's entitled to their opinions. But illegal downloading isn't an "opinion." It's an illegal act.

That said, I am not approaching this subject with a my-way-or-the-highway attitude. I DO understand that there are mitigating factors in some cases. I have a world of sympathy for that fan in the middle of a foreign country with no LCS for hundreds of miles-- and practically no access to ANY U.S. comics. And I understand the validity of certain circumstances here and there. But I see no excuse for (and I'm going to be VERY specific here) someone who lives in a country where comics are available but who HABITUALLY downloads a title issue after issue-- month after month-- who reads it cover to cover-- and who has no intention of buying it. That specific person is a thief. And I have no problem with pointing that out.

But what if the party who illegally downloads the comic deletes it?

Well, was that deleted comic-- was it compelling enough for you to read from start to finish?
If someone ordered a steak and it wasn't cooked properly, it's ONE thing if they put down their fork after a bite or two and say, "This was a bad steak. I'm not paying for it."
It's something else entirely if they eat every ounce of the steak and say, "I didn't like that steak, so I'm not paying for it."
Well, guess what, you liked it enough to eat the whole damn thing.

If you reach all the way to the end, you should reach all the way into your wallet.
It doesn't matter if you delete it.
If you don't like it. Don't read it.
It's that simple.

If you finish the entire story, something must have been compelling enough for you to finish the journey-- even if it was, at worst, "slow down and look at the car crash" fascination. Whatever the case, you got the full unit of entertainment out of that comic. It's NOT an ENTITLEMENT to read comics. People make them for a LIVING. You get the benefits of their WORK. When you ILLEGALLY download it, that's STEALING-- that's ILLEGALLY obtaining COPYRIGHTED material.
Disposing of the evidence does NOT absolve you of the crime. For example, it's still a murder even if you dump the body, right?

But isn't it the same thing as checking it out from the library?
No. At the library there's only ONE physical copy. That creates limits to how many people can read it at ONE time-- and limits the convenience of reading it when you want to. Purchasing your own physical copy gives you the LEGALLY obtained convenience of reading it whenever you want-- gaining that convenience is part of your purchase. And that ONE copy that the library has? It was LEGALLY purchased. It's like borrowing a comic from a friend-- BUT the library has thousands of friends that it loans it out to ONE at a time. That copy ALSO has the wear and tear of having been read by hundreds of people.

And there IS a BIG difference between a physical copy and an electronic copy:

The moment someone COPIES the COPYRIGHTED material AND DISTRIBUTES the copy by placing it on the internet a CRIME has been committed. Crime = problem. You've now created an INFINITE amount of copies. You are DISTRIBUTING the copy-- whose Intellectual Properties do NOT belong to you. There are LAWS which govern how the material is distributed. That's not a choice the consumer gets to make BEYOND their ownership of the physical copy.

That's the difference. And whether you, personally, see it or not is NOT the issue. It's the law, and it's not up for personal interpretation. Personal interpretation is a slippery slope. Imagine there's someone-- with a unique PERSONAL interpretation of the law-- and they feel that if you leave your house-- but don't lock your door-- that they're free to walk in and take what they want. Does the absence of the lock mean that they're not stealing? With this age of scanners and the internet it's too convenient for some to get into "the house" and steal-- and the running argument/rationalization of people who practice this seems to go like this-- "Until they can figure out how to put a lock on that door, why shouldn't I take whatever I want?" The CONVENIENCE of the situation doesn't trump the MORALITY of the situation, the lack of protection doesn't absolve the theft, and it IS still an ILLEGAL ACT.

At the end of the day, I'M not the guy writing the laws on this. But those laws HAVE been written:

Copyright is a form of legal protection provided by United States law (Title 17 U.S. Code) that protects an owner's right to control the reproduction, distribution, performance, display and transmission of a copyrighted work.

Any activity that violates these protections, such as downloading and/or sharing copyrighted works without the owner's explicit permission, is in violation of United States law.

Violations of copyright law can lead to criminal charges and civil penalties. Under current copyright law, criminal cases of copyright violation carry a penalty of up to five (5) years in prison and a $250,000 fine. Civil penalties for copyright infringement include a minimum fine of $750 for each work. While criminal prosecution for illegal downloading is rare, civil law suits are quite common for some institutions. (This is due to the NET Act, we'll get to that in a sec...)

Currently, these are what constitute copyrighted works under United States Law:

* Books, articles and other writings
* Songs and other musical works
* Movies and Television productions
* Pictures, graphics and drawings
* Computer software
* Pantomimes and choreographic works
* Sculptural and architectural works

(Yes, as crazy as it sounds, you can copyright pantomime and choreography. Though I doubt that would sound crazy to a hard working choreographer...)

The United States No Electronic Theft Act (NET Act), a federal law passed in 1997, provides for criminal prosecution of individuals who engage in copyright infringement, even when there is no monetary profit or commercial benefit from the infringement. Maximum penalties can be five years in prison and up to $250,000 in fines. The NET Act also raised statutory damages by 50%.

Prior to the enactment of the NET Act in 1997, copyright infringement for a non-commercial purpose was apparently not punishable by criminal prosecution, although non-commercial infringers could be sued in a civil action by the copyright holder to recover damages. At that time, criminal prosecutions under the copyright act were possible only when the infringer derived a commercial benefit from his or her actions. This state of affairs was underscored by the unsuccessful 1994 prosecution of David LaMacchia, then a student at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, for allegedly facilitating massive copyright infringement as a hobby, without any commercial motive. The court's dismissal of United States v. LaMacchia suggested that then-existing criminal law simply did not apply to non-commercial infringements (a state of affairs which became known as the "LaMacchia Loophole"). The court suggested that Congress could act to make some non-commercial infringements a crime, and Congress acted on that suggestion in the NET Act.

The NET Act amends the definition of "commercial advantage or private financial gain" to include the exchange of copies of copyrighted works even if no money changes hands and specifies penalties of up to five years in prison and up to $250,000 in fines. It also creates a threshold for criminal liability even where the infringer neither obtained nor expected to obtain anything of value for the infringement.

The act raised the levels of statutory damages in civil cases to $750 - $30,000 per work (and up to $150,000 per work in case of willful infringement).

Here's what the courts have said about the illegal downloading of copyrighted images:

"Distributing unlawful copies of a copyrighted work violates the copyright owner’s distribution right and, as a result, constitutes copyright infringement. . . . . [Unlawful distribution occurs where] [f]iles of [copyrighted] information are stored in the central system, and subscribers may either ‘download’ information into their[computers] or ‘upload’ information from their home units into the central files . . . ."
Playboy Enterprises v. Russ Hardenburgh, Inc., 982 F. Supp. 503 (N.D. Ohio 1997).

"[The Copyright Act] provides that an owner of a copyrighted work has the exclusive right to reproduce the work in copies . . . [and] to distribute copies of the work to the public . . . . [A]nyone who violates any of the exclusive rights of the copyright owner … is an infringer of the copyright."
Playboy Enterprises v. Webbworld Inc., 991 F. Supp. 543 (N.D. Tex. 1997).

And here's what the courts have said about the illegal downloading of copyrighted text:

"Defendant Free Republic is a ‘bulletin board’ website whose members use the site to post news articles to which they add remarks or commentary . . . . The Plaintiffs' [Los Angeles Times and Washington Post] complaint alleges that unauthorized copying and posting of the articles on the Free Republic site constitutes copyright infringement . . . . "
L.A. Times v. Free Republic, 2000 U.S. Dist. LEXIS 5669 (C.D. Cal. 2000).

"When a person browses a website, and by so doing displays the [copyrighted] Handbook, a copy of the Handbook is made in the computer's random access memory (RAM), to permit viewing of the material. And in making a copy, even a temporary one, the person who browsed infringes the copyright. Additionally, a person making a printout or re-posting a copy of the Handbook on another website would infringe plaintiff's copyright."
Intellectual Reserve, Inc. v. Utah Lighthouse Ministry, Inc., 75 F. Supp. 2d 1290 (D. Utah 1999).

Wow! This was a pretty big DOWNER of an "Easter Egg", wasn't it? :P

Well, to offset this dour diatribe, in case you didn't read (or get) a copy this X-mas,
here are links to all 27 pages of my and Jame Fry's one and only issue of our original, creator owned comic, BIG MAX!
This is something James and I OWN and WE thought it'd be neat to OFFER it up to everybody for FREE (while keeping they copyright, of course. :)).
As creators, this was OUR choice to make, and that makes it different. And, hopefully, kinda cool. ;)

http://twitpic.com/v3fsd
http://twitpic.com/v3g0x
http://twitpic.com/v3g7d
http://twitpic.com/v3gd0
http://twitpic.com/v3gl5
http://twitpic.com/v3kv2
http://twitpic.com/v3kzi
http://twitpic.com/v3l59
http://twitpic.com/v3la3
http://twitpic.com/v3lfi
http://twitpic.com/v3pvp
http://twitpic.com/v3q01
http://twitpic.com/v3q6a
http://twitpic.com/v3qna
http://twitpic.com/v3qxf
http://twitpic.com/v3tyv
http://twitpic.com/v3u2e
http://twitpic.com/v3u6l
http://twitpic.com/v3ub0
http://twitpic.com/v3ufo
http://twitpic.com/v3yvt
http://twitpic.com/v3yy3
http://twitpic.com/v3z4r
http://twitpic.com/v3za1
http://twitpic.com/v3zfm
http://twitpic.com/v5isk
http://twitpic.com/v5jjd

[Sarcoidosis]

I'll admit, I didn't read the whole thing, but I read enough to know that I agree. I have large music and comic book (trade paperback, actually) collections. I will use thirty second previews for music or eight page previews for comics to decide what I will buy because those are legal means of evaluating whether or not I want to make that purchase, just like movie trailers. Moreover, the companies in question have agreed to release that media to people for preview purposes, which is different from if I stole it evaluate whether or not I would buy the product.

People argue that having pirated movies/comics/music available increases the sales of those items. Even if that were true, which I doubt, it's still not within your rights to take that item. It's like stealing 1000 dollars, investing it, making 2000 off of it, and returning it to the person from whom you stole. The results don't matter. It wasn't within your rights to take the item in the first place.

I will only get items online if I have legitimately purchased the rights to enjoy that media and then been deprived of them due to an error on the part of the distributor. It happens every once in a while when a show airs that I have taped on DVR and the audio does not come through because someone at the station is asleep at the switch. I subscribe to a service that gave me the right to view that show. I don't feel guilty if the service lets me down and I look elsewhere to acquire the media for which I had already paid. It might also happen if I bought a comic with a printing error that caused two pages to be missing.

Unfortunately, it seems few people my age share my sentiments.

EDIT: Now I've read all of it.

[Kazekun]

I agree aswell. There's certain times for certant things, by certain people then it can be understood as to why this or that happens. But if it blatently happens, and you know it's wrong. Don't do it. Simple, right?
I personally am in no financial scenario where I can afford all the comics I get, i mean, I can, but it costs me on something else down the road, as do most things you purchase, but I still take the time out to buy what interests me instead of scouring the internet for ways to download it. It's more or less of knowing your rights from your wrongs. And what you choose to do with said knowledge. Sure, things cost money, but that's what we call an economy, that stimulates itself off the money you use to purchase the item of your choice, which was worked hard on by people tryin to make a living off these items. Green makes the world go around, in both the economical and the ecosystematical kind of ways. It's like a universal color.
So, why a downer yes, it truly is something that needs to be adressed everywhere. Which why we have ads in front all our movies we buy, right?

Oh, and I absoultely LOVED your script offerings you gave us on the first page. Truly a great insight into how comics are done. My favorite part was the "Marvel Way" plot and script dynamics. I never thought of writing it out like that, since I do full scripts like all new timers in this day in age. I'm always looking for new ways to give my best friend, an artist, different ways to express his artistic freedom in our projects while still staying true to the story. I may have to try the plot and script thing once, see how it turns out.
Thanks DAN! ^_^

[Seraphex]

Awesome stuff. Thanks for posting these scripts!

[JRL]

Dan, the plot/script for the Batman and Robin story is fantastic! I wish I had that issue. I have been dabbling with comics writing and fan fiction for a while, but strictly for fun. Dick Grayson always was my favorite DC character, and Spider-Man my favorite Marvel character. I rarely join message boards, but after seeing this, I just had to comment and thank you for the above behind the scenes look, as well as for making Amazing Spider-Man good again! :-)

[Arion]

Welcome to the board, JRL.

[Dan Slott]

Hi. I posted this on another thread here at the Bendis Boards.
But it really should be here too. So...

Here you go:

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #656
“No One Dies”
Part 2 of 2 “Resolve”
Plot for 30 pgs.
Dan Slott
12/20/10

PAGE 1
Panel One
It’s moments after the end of #655, MASSACRE has just executed his first hostage at the bank robbery. The man’s body lies dead on the street.

Panel Two
CAPTAIN YURI WATANABE and the policemen on the scene are out of their element. They don’t know what to do. The person they’re facing off against is a certifiable madman. YURI gets on her bullhorn and says that she can’t deal with this man in good faith if he continues to execute hostages—

Panel Three
Cut to MASSACRE. Pacing past all of his bomb-vest-wearing hostages. He tells her that this isn’t about playing by her rules. She has to play by his.

Panel Four
CLOSE UP on MASSACRE as he holds his kill-switch up to his face. With an emotionless expression, MASSACRE pushes one of the multiple buttons on the kill-switch…


PAGE 2
Panel One
The cops reel in horror as part of the building they were watching blows up. BOOM! Sending glass, masonry, and shrapnel everywhere.

Panel Two
CLOSE UP on SPIDER-MAN in mid-swing over the city-- his head sharply turning to the sound of the explosion.

Panel Three
We pull back to see SPIDEY changing the direction of his swing towards the action. About 10 or 15 blocks away, smoke is rising from the building. Car alarms are going off from the shock.

Panel Four
Cut back to MASSACRE—he informs us that he took out the west wing of the bank. He had seven hostages on that side of the building.
He states his demands again: He wants all alarms, close circuit cameras in the building—and for five blocks—turned OFF. And he wants the police and all authorities to pull back that far as well.
This is not a negotiation. These are the rules. They have ten minutes and counting.


PAGE 3
Panel One
Covered in debris—with smoke and dust still in the air—the cops are completely unnerved. One cop is freaking out—he can see a body part in the wreckage (though the reader can’t).
In the foreground, YURI looks like she’s in complete shock. One of her officers is asking her what they should do next.
“Captain Watanabe? Captain?!”

Panel Two
We go closer in on YURI’S face. She doesn’t know what to do. There’s a nick-or-cut from some shrapnel across her cheek. Maybe her eyes are starting to tear up (or maybe that’s too much?).

Panel Three
Another cop points skyward—looking almost relieved. He tells the CAPTAIN that—look—SPIDER-MAN’S here! In the middle of all this horrible real-world-violence—a super hero is on the scene! There may just be a way out of this after all!
SPIDEY’S small in the background-- a tiny figure, swinging on a gossamer thread.

Panel Four
Hero shot of SPIDEY swinging through the skies of New York—one of his hands outstretched—shooting a web right at the reader! This is a pure, iconic, stick-it-on-a-poster-or-a-lunchbox SPIDER-MAN visual. It’s everything we love about this guy!


PAGE 4
Panel One
Aspect shot of the web hitting squarely on a brick in the side of a building…

Panel Two
Same shot as before, but as SPIDEY has swung past, the mortar around the brick crumbles, it comes loose and starts to give way…

Panel Three
…as the full force of his weight rips the brick out of the building—SPIDER-MAN loses control of his swing—and he goes gracelessly flailing—dragging a web and a loose brick behind him…

Panel Four
…SPIDER-MAN slams down to earth in front of the startled cops. This is NOT a funny moment. It is embarrassing and off-putting. (And the LAST thing we should see is the brick beaming him on the head as a silly punctuation mark to the seen. Again, this is not funny. This is a moment where our hero is shown to be all too frail and human.)
In fact NOTHING about Spider-Man this issue is funny. Spidey is straight-down-the-line serious this issue. This is a Spider-Man who FAILED to save Jameson’s wife. In his own guilt-laden mind, he has a LOT to atone for. Think of how Spider-Man/Peter Parker was for MONTHS after Gwen’s death. We’re in that kind of zone here. No quips. No puns. No jokes of any kind.


PAGE 5
Panel One
The cops look around nervously. Should they help SPIDEY up? YURI asks if he’s okay.

Panel Two
Close up on SPIDER-MAN. He’s frustrated. He thinks about how recent events have left him without his spider-sense. Before this happened, he had no idea how MUCH he relied on it—in tons of little, everyday ways. Is he going to have to think about every time he shoots a web to swing off of now?!

Panel Three
SPIDEY gets up and asks YURI what’s going on here. YURI tells him that it’s a hostage situation—and that the hostage-taker has already killed eight people. At least six more are in danger.

Panel Four
SPIDEY tells YURI that he’s on top of this. He’s dealt with this kind of psycho before. YURI has faith in him. But some of the cops nearby look a little on edge—thanks to SPIDEY’S recent wipeout.


PAGE 6
Panel One
SPIDEY starts walking past the police barricade and into the no man’s land between the cop cars and the bank. SPIDEY is holding hands above his head—without his spider-sense, he’s leaving himself COMPLETELY vulnerable—and he knows it. SPIDEY says he’s just coming in to talk…

Panel Two
Cut to a cold, emotionless MASSACRE. He says there is no way this is acceptable. A super hero? An Avenger? Approaching the perimeter? This is impermissible.
If we can see the hostages in this shot, they’re scared out of their wits. Some are crying.

Panel Three
MASSACRE smashes out a window—kicking it out with his boot.

Panel Four
And then opens fire, spraying bullets out the window—down at SPIDER-MAN and the cops.


PAGE 7
Panel One
BIG IMAGE of the cops ducking for cover as their cars are riddled with bullets—windows shattering—bullet holes peppering their cars—metal-on-metal sparks lighting up.
Meanwhile, in the line of fire, SPIDER-MAN is leaping, bounding, and springing out of the way!
In rapid-fire thoughts, SPIDEY tells the reader that he’s freaking out! He’s dodging bullets WITHOUT his spider-sense?! That’s crazy! It’s all just random guessing! He’s practically blind here!

Panel Two
In all the chaos, SPIDEY takes careful aim, bends his wrist down—and fires a SPIDER-TRACER. (Remember—just like that time he shot a tracer at SCREWBALL, Spider-Tracker’s are stored on the BACK of his wrist—as opposed to his web-shooter which is on the front of his wrist.)

Panel Three
It’s a one-in-a-million shot, but the SPIDER-TRACER goes right though the shattered glass of the window…

Panel Four
…and gets on MASSACRE’S coat! MASSACRE doesn’t even notice—as he’s still blasting away—unloading his automatic weapon!

PAGE 8
Panel One
CLOSE UP on SPIDEY as he continues to leap about. He is SO pleased with himself. In his mind, what little of a plan he has is already working.

Panel Two
We pull back—as in mid-leap, SPIDER-MAN GETS SHOT! Grazed across his ribs by bullet-fire!

Panel Three
SPIDEY falls on the ground, wounded. And YURI gets out from behind the cop cars to go after him—like a brave soldier going back for a downed comrade.

Panel Four
YURI pulls him back behind the barricade. She’s worried about SPIDEY! She’s never seen him get shot before. SPIDEY tells her not to worry about it. He did what he had to do. He’s got a tracer on that maniac. If they can get him go—and leave the hostages behind—they can nail him when he’s on his own.

Panel Five
YURI gets on her bullhorn and yells out to MASSACRE—telling him that he’s won. They’ll do whatever he wants!


PAGE 9
Panel One
Cut to later. Things are settled down. There’s no more dust or debris in the air. The cars have been pulled back blocks away. SPIDEY has some kind of towel or dressing that he’s holding to his wound. YURI is receiving a call from the bomb squad. They’re saying that they’ve removed the vest from the last of the hostages.

Panel Two
SPIDEY and the cops approach the site of the bank. Hostages (no longer wearing their vests) are being lead to ambulances by well-padded NYPD bomb squad units.

Panel Three
Aspect shot: One cop spots an open manhole cover. He thinks this is where MASSACRE went.

Panel Four
Down inside the sewers, YURI, SPIDER-MAN, and a couple of cops are standing by a four-way junction… Each of the three branching pathways in front of them is wired with explosives. One of the cops says that they’ll have to bring the bomb squad down here as well.
YURI asks SPIDER-MAN which section they should clear first. Which way did MASSACRE go? What’s his spider-tracer telling him?

Panel Five
CLOSE UP of SPIDER-MAN, his head lowered in shame. HE DOESN’T KNOW! His spider-tracers are linked to his spider-sense! Without it, they’re useless! He doesn’t know what he was thinking!


PAGE 10
Panel One
Establishing shot of the building where NIGHT NURSE has her emergency super hero clinic.

Panel Two
Inside her bare bones ER, NIGHT NURSE is properly dressing SPIDER-MAN’S wound. His shirt’s off, but his mask is still on.
NIGHT NURSE says that she usually doesn’t treat him for gunshots. This is a rare thing. SPIDEY tells her that her bedside manner sucks. Does she know that?

Panel Three
As SPIDEY, pulling his shirt back down, walks out through the waiting room, we see that PALADIN is there, his arm in a makeshift sling. In the background, a TV is bolted to the wall (just like in a hospital). The news is covering the recent MASSACRE attack—and what a tragedy it has been for New York, and the eight families that lost loved ones.
“Geez, web-head,” says PALADDIN, talking about the news, “way to louse it up for the rest of us…”

Panel Four
CLOSE UP on PALADDIN as he reminds SPIDEY that first he let the Mayor’s wife die—and now THIS? He’s really slipping up. (Something to keep in mind—PALADDIN is a total jerk who only does super hero-ing stuff for money.)


PAGE 11
Panel One
Again, throughout this entire issue—there is no “jokey” Spider-Man. This is a mad, angry, and confused SPIDER-MAN—who is at his wit’s end.
SPIDER-MAN grabs PALADDIN and SLAMS him up against the wall. He is NOT going to take ANY of his shit! NOT TODAY!

Panel Two
PALADDIN winces. SPIDEY manhandling him is not doing his hurt arm any favors.
“Damn, Spider…” he tells him, “…you really need to grow a thicker skin.”

Panel Three
SPIDEY stops and looks at all the padding/armor on PALADDIN’S costume.

Panel Four
CLOSE UP on SPIDEY. “Yeah,” he says, “I think I do.”


PAGE 12
Panel One
Cut to JONAH in his office at city hall. On his desk he has all kinds of photos, testimonials, and awards/certificates that show what a rich, full, and celebrated life his wife, MARLA, led.

Panel Two
He gets on the phone and calls ROBBIE. JONAH says that he’s put together some things for a tribute to Marla. A follow up—celebrating her life.

Panel Three
Cut to the BUGLE. It’s a madhouse, as everyone is running around putting together the MASSACRE story! Files on all the victims. A profile on MASSACRE himself. Photos of all the destruction…
As chaos circles around him, ROBBIE tries to give his friend, JONAH’S call his full attention.

Panel Four
Close up on ROBBIE as he apologizes to JONAH, but MARLA is not the story any more. They have to focus on this new massacre that took place. ROBBIE’S very sorry but-- Did JONAH hang up on him? Jonah?!

Panel Five
Cut back to JONAH’S office. JONAH is standing over his desk. His hand having just hung up the phone. He looks stone faced—dead inside—as opposed to his usual fiery/angry self.
GLORY GRANT has walked into the room with the CHIEF OF POLICE. She tells JONAH that they’ve arranged a meeting with the family members who lost loved ones during this recent massacre. She asks JONAH if he’s up for it. JONAH says that he’s the MAYOR—he knows how to do his job.


PAGE 13
Panel One
With some cameras looking on, JONAH and the CHIEF OF POLICE approach the family members of the victims from today’s massacre. These are husbands, wives, and parents. There is only ONE young child there-- a boy who lost his mother in the attack.
JONAH is very Mayoral—professional—and on his game. He says everything a Mayor is supposed to say. He is a pillar of strength—assuring the families of the victims that the city will not forget their loved ones, and that the chief of police has New York’s finest on this case.

Panel Two
No expense will be spared in order to mete out justice. JONAH is serious. Though he’s usually a skinflint, this time, money is no object. And he is sincere about that.

Panel Three
JONAH notices how upset the young boy is. He asks for the cameras to be turned off.

Panel Four
And then he takes the boy aside to have a private word with him.

Panel Five
Two figure shot of JONAH and the BOY talking in private. The boy intimidated a little, but attentive and listening.
JONAH tries to put what happened today in a child’s terms. NOT talking down to the boy, but getting to core fundamental truths.


PAGE 14
Panel One
CLOSER in on JONAH as his stone-like veneer starts to crack. For the first time since MARLA’S death, he’s talking with pure emotion. He’s telling the boy that he understands about his loss.

Panel Two
JONAH tells the boy that this MASSACRE character—the man who killed his mother—that JONAH will do everything in his power to END him. He will NOT come back. He will not harm anyone EVER again.

Panel Three
CLOSE UP of JONAH. Maybe even a shot of his eyes—or an up angle on JONAH—like a POV shot from the young boy’s perspective—looking up at this adult’s face.
JONAH promises the BOY, as the MAYOR, he’ll see that bastard dead.

Panel Four
SILENT REACTION SHOT of the BOY. The boy has stopped crying. But is it because JONAH’S news has comforted him—or scared him?

Panel Five
As JONAH walks away with GLORY and the CHIEF OF POLICE, JONAH inquires about Alistair Smythe, the man who killed his wife. Once he’s apprised of his status, JONAH says as Mayor of New York, he wants to make certain Smythe is facing the death penalty. When GLORY starts to question him, JONAH tells both of them to get on it! He’s done with pussy footing around. He has zero tolerance for murderers in his city. Everything changes. Right now!


PAGE 15
Panel One
Cut to HORIZON LABS. An unshaven PETER PARKER is emerging from his lab. We don’t know what he’s been building—we’ll see that later. (Basically, I don’t want to do 3 arcs in a row where we SEE Peter cobbling together a device and/or suit. But I do want to reinforce that this IS part of the new set up. Much in the same way that we don’t HAVE to see him whip up each batch of web-fluid, but we DO know that he logically has to do that.)

Panel Two
PETE heads to the Atrium to get a much needed snack. A can of soda goes flying towards him as an off-panel GRADY SCRAPS tells him to “think fast”.

Panel Three
PETE (who no longer has spider-sense) turns and takes the can of soda RIGHT in the ribs where he was shot earlier. He winces.

Panel Four
GRADY (the happy, jolly fat guy who calls everybody “dude”) comes over and profusely apologizes. He says that he’s done this to Pete a couple of times before—and thought it was a regular “thing” with them. Pete ALWAYS caught it before…
PETE picks up the can of soda and tell GRADY not to sweat it—he’s just been a little—off—lately.

Panel Five
We pull back to a group shot.
GRADY leads PETE over to the Atrium where a bunch of Horizon cast members are hanging out and talking: BELLA (the nerdy, hippy chick), TIBERIUS STONE (Boo! Hiss! He’s secretly a spy for bad guys), and SAJANI (the know-it-all with a chip on her shoulder—and a wonderful taste in hats).

PAGE 16
Panel One
Everybody’s hanging out talking about geeky water cooler stuff—what happened on TV last night—a new scientific breakthrough about greenhouse gas emissions—and a new LOL cat on YouTube.

Panel Two
PETE loses it a little. What’s the matter with these guys? This is the most trivial stuff in the world! There was a massacre in Manhattan this morning. Eight people are dead. If Pete was hanging with his NORMAL friends at the Bugle or the Coffee Bean—THAT is what they’d be talking about.

Panel Three
BELLA says that greenhouse gasses effect everyone. That’s important. In the big picture, right?
SAJANI cuts BELLA off and reads PETE the riot act….

Panel Four
SAJANI asks PETE if he gets this way about EVERY death in the world? If so, why isn’t he down in Haiti helping with relief efforts? What about eight—probably mostly white—New Yorkers has him more worked up than anything ELSE in the world?
PETE is taken aback and doesn’t know how to answer.
From off panel, a voice (UATUA JACKSON) tells PETE that Horizon IS trying to help out with the massacre…

Panel Five
UATU JACKSON comes over and pulls PETER away. He tells PETER that he and MAX MODELL actually HAVE been working on something related to the massacre. Here—He’ll show him…


PAGE 17
Panel One
UATUA takes PETER over to a workstation where MAX is showing CAPTAIN YURI WATANABE a new piece of equipment that HORIZON has been working on to help local law enforcement. It’s a new app for their e-reader.

Panel Two
MAX starts explaining how it works to both YURI and PETER. This is a new facial recognition app. Show it any footage-- or image-- of a known felon, and it will cross reference ALL known police data files from around the world—and compile a user friendly dossier about that perp—with lightning fast speed.
(The e-reader should be like the iPad device that we’ve been showing on the recap pages. It’s important for a later story arc that this is an APPLICATION and NOT a big piece of hardware. This tech his something that all-new WRAITH will use as something that’s hooked INTO her goggles.)

Panel Three
YURI shows an image cap of MASSACRE that MAX asked her to bring in—it’s a blurry print out from the bank’s security footage.

Panel Four
The e-reader scans the image and starts putting together a file. MAX says that the app has located some video files about this character. He’ll patch them through…

Panel Five
PETE watches as DR. KAFKA (a long-time Spider-Man character—a helpful psychiatrist) comes on screen to talk about how MASSACRE was a patient of hers. PETE is surprised to see DR. KAFKA again—even in video form.

PAGES 18 and 19
Marcos, here’s why I’m seeing this as a double page layout instead of 2 Five Panel Pages:
Panels One through Five are far more interesting visuals than Panels Six through Ten—and could probably do with stealing some of Six through Ten’s “real estate”.
The natural cut off point is Panel Five, but Panel Six plays better if it directly follows Panel Five on the same page. But, in the end, I defer to you—and if you think it works better splitting these pages up, I’m all for it. ‘Cause I trust you implicitly in these matters.

Panel One
As the voice of Dr. Kafka narrates—we see old news footage of the accident that killed MARCUS LYMAN’S wife, JUDY, and turned him into MASSACRE.
Both MARCUS and JUDY were Wall Street traders working for a major investment house. We see them heading home early one night. In contrast to later, we can see that MARCUS is an energetic person laughing about something his wife has just said.
In narration, Kafka tells us that the LYMANS had the misfortune of being the only casualties…

Panel Two
…in a car bomb attack that went off right outside their firm. It was left by the terrorist organization known as ULTIMATUM, who are bent on destroying all forms of government and its infrastructures. We see the blast going off—and both MARCUS and JUDY getting caught in it.

Panel Three
As Dr. Kafka continues to narrate, we cut to an X-ray of MARCUS’S skull, showing a jagged piece of shrapnel that, by all rights, should have killed him. The shrapnel is both poking far into his skull, and protruding far out of it. Kafka explains that even though it was successfully removed, and MARCUS was still a fully functioning human being, parts of his brain were no longer active—his personality had been drastically altered. His ethics and regard for others were apparently GONE altogether.

Panel Four
We cut back to the newsreel—where MARCUS (the fragment now sticking out of his bleeding head), is cradling his wife’s dead, lifeless body. We can’t see MARCUS’S face though. It’s down turned.

Panel Five
Close up on MARCUS as he looks up and stares RIGHT into the camera with lifeless eyes—devoid of any emotion. It should be chilling to see. A man holding the dead body of the woman he loves—but not showing any sign of caring. None at all. This shouldn’t look like shock. This should look like staring into the abyss and finding nothing.

Panel Six
Silent reaction shot of YURI, MAX, UATU, & PETER looking at MARCUS’ haunting face. It’s creepy.

Panel Seven
Match shot. Suddenly YURI’S police communicator goes off—having the same effect of someone going “BOO!” in the middle of everyone watching a horror film. Everyone’s startled, letting at various sounds like “AH!” “GYAH!””Damn!” and “Oh!”

Panel Eight
YURI apologizes, pointing out that it’s her police communicator. She has to take this.

Panel Nine
Cut to YURI on the phone. It’s MASSACRE! He’s struck again? He has hostages again? The Wall Street District? She’s on her way.

Panel Ten
We pull back as YURI excuses herself to MAX, she has to go. UATU notices that PETE’S gone. Where’d he take of to?


PAGE 20
Cut to PETER in his lab. In a series of Quick aspect shots, he suits up in his new armor and straps on his new custom-built web-shooters.
If there’s room—we could see him taking off from the rooftop of HORIZON LABS.


PAGE 21
Panel One
Cut to MASSACRE’S latest hostage scenario: he’s taken members of his old investment firm hostage in their Wall Street offices. Outside we see nice establishing shots of the WALL STREET area—including the iconic shot of the George Washington statue.

Panel Two
Not only are the police there, but the CHIEF OF POLICE is there too! The POLICE CHIEF is by a parked limo—with one of its darkened windows slightly cracked open. THE CHIEF is confirming with the person inside—is he certain of this new policy.

Panel Three
Inside the limo is the shadowy form of J. JONAH JAMESON. He tells the CHIEF OF POLICE that he has it on his authority—if they S.W.A.T. teams have MASSACRE in their sights—they are to take the shot! Is that clear?!

Panel Four
Once again—MASSACRE is making his demands—once again, MASSACRE has a room fool of hostages. This will not go down well.

Panel Five
Close up on MASSACRE as he delicately fingers the SPIDER-TRACER that Spider-Man placed on him earlier. MASSACRE says that they wanted to find him—he’s made it easy for them. They have to be taught a lesson about following his rules.


PAGE 22
Panel One
As the POLICE CHIEF is mobilizing heavily armed S.W.A.T. teams, YURI’S police cruiser pulls up.

Panel Two
YURI demands to know what’s going on. The POLICE CHIEF says that after her performance earlier, he’s running the show this time. This is what she gets for putting her faith in a wall-crawling idiot like…

Panel Three
SPIDER-MAN comes barreling in—in his new armored suit! The cops are worried. What the hell is he going to do this time?!

Panel Four
The POLICE CHIEF is yelling at SPIDEY as he blasts right on by…


PAGE 23
Panel One
…and shatters through a window into the building where MASSACRE is currently holding hostages!

Panel Two
Before MASSACRE has a chance to react, SPIDEY goes jumping around the room—
--DITKO-style! He’s shooting webs at ALL the hostages in their bomb-vests!

Panel Three
MASSACRE tells SPIDEY that he’s just sealed their fates! He activates a trigger on his kill-switch!

Panel Four
Cut to the some of the hostages screaming their heads off with fear---


PAGE 24
Panel One
--but nothing happens! Standing in front of them—poised for battle—SPIDEY tells MASSACRE that this new batch of webbing BLOCKS radio signals. He has NO way to detonate his hostages!

Panel Two
MASSACRE opens fire on them-- but SPIDEY leaps into action and follows the trail—blocking the bullets with his armor-plated body, deflecting all the bullets!

Panel Three
Without his spider-sense, dodging bullets is HARD—but getting in the path of them—is the easiest thing in the world! It’s taking a lot out of him—and he’s feeling some pain—but it’s something he can live with! NO ONE DIES TODAY!


PAGE 25
Panel One
SPIDEY finishes his big acrobatic moves—by plowing into MASSACRE with a massive hit!

Panel Two
Some of their fight knocks out walls and windows—leaving them more of an open target for the police’s sharp shooters (two pages from now).

Panel Three
Finally, MASSACRE brandishes his kill-switch! He says he’s prepared for this! There are hostages is another part of town! He pushes this switch—they’ll all die—and there’s nothing SPIDER-MAN can do about it!


PAGE 26
Panel One
SPIDEY webs the kill-switch and MASSACRE’S hand.

Panel Two
REACTION SHOT of MASSACRE as he looks at his big, web-balled-up hand. From off panel SPIDEY says, “Remember? It blocks all radio signals?!”

Panel Three
SPIDEY delivers a massive/victorious punch or kick—knocking MASSACRE back…


PAGE 27
Panel One
Outside, one of the sharp shooters, looking through his targeting site, says that MASSACRE has been incapacitated. What should they do?

Panel Two
Hearing this over his police communicator—the POLICE CHIEF tells his men to TAKE THE SHOT! YURI objects—this is NOT correct procedure---

Panel Three
Cut to a stumbling MASSACRE—who is now lit head-to-toe in red-laser-target sightings!

Panels Four
We see a row of sharp shooters pulling their triggers! Their muzzles ignite with gunfire! BIG SOUND EFFECTS LET LOOSE—BRATTA BRRT BRATTA BRRT!


PAGE 28
Panel One/BIG IMAGE
AND SPIDER-MAN GETS IN THE WAY OF ALL THE LETHAL SHOTS—SAVING MASSACRE—and blocking them with his armored body!
Even though armored—it’s obvious that Spidey’s new suit was NOT designed to take THIS much damage! Spidey taking these hits—FOR a dangerous psychotic—should look DAMN heroic!

Panel Two
The sharp shooters stop.

Panel Three
A weakened SPIDER-MAN is grateful that they let up.


PAGE 29
Panel One
Later… SPIDER-MAN and all the hostages leave the building. They’re still in webbed up bomb-vests—and still scared. SPIDER-MAN is dragging a webbed up MASSACRE behind him.

Panel Two
JAMESON bursts out of his parked limo—furious at SPIDER-MAN! HOW DARE HE SAVE THAT LUNATIC?! IS SPIDER-MAN OUT OF HIS GOD DAMN MIND?!

Panel Three
SPIDEY and the widower, MAYOR JAMESON, have it out in the street. SPIDER-MAN says that he’s a hero—they’re the good guys—we have to save EVERYONE. We don’t get to be God.
JAMESON tells SPIDER-MAN that even if they give this piece of trash the death sentence… Who’s to say he won’t break out of prison beforehand? There’s a prison break every damn day in this city!

Panel Four
And if MASSACRE strikes again?! EVERY death will be on SPIDER-MAN’S head!
SPIDER-MAN says that that won’t happen. He’ll see to it. He’s Spider-Man. And from now on, when he’s around, no one dies.

Panel Five
JAMESON loses it. He says after all these years, he’s finally figured it out. Spider-Man’s not a menace. He’s an IDIOT! SPIDEY swings away.


PAGE 30
SPLASH. SPIDEY looks out across NYC—reverse angle from before—now we’re looking right at him—heroically lit—a sentry standing watch over the city.
SPIDEY is now more sure of himself than ever. He can do this. It’s not impossible. He has great power, great resources, and dedication. He will live up to this promise. He’ll make this work.

THE END

[ndub33]

I am new to the site, and just stumbled across this thread. This is great stuff...engrossing and insightful, especially the backstories behind each script. I know that it has been a while since anything has been posted here-but Dan, if you schedule allows, please put up more of these! And thanks for what you have posted thus far.