How do you make friends?

[Shannon Chenoweth]

Yes, this is an honest question. I consider a lot of you guys friends, but I don't have any local friends right now. I find myself simply going to work and then coming home everyday to just do nothing really. I don't call anyone, and when I do go out to do something (which is just going to the store or whatever), I'm alone. So, do you guys find it really hard to make friends? I think as I get older, it's pretty difficult IMO.

[Jacob Lyon Goddard]

how new are you to your current residence?

how new are you at your job?


most of my friends are through work, or through college, or through the neighborhood, or from my home town, or through other friends from thos places

[Shannon Chenoweth]

how new are you to your current residence?

how new are you at your job?


most of my friends are through work, or through college, or through the neighborhood, or from my home town, or through other friends from thos places

Been living in this area since I was in middle school. I've had a number of close friends, but not anymore.

I've been at my current job for like 8 months now. I've tried to hang out with a couple people at work, but so far nothings happened. We just spend so many hours together we are tired at the end of the day. When you work with the same people for 45-50 hours a week it's bound to happen.

[Eric Williams]

I would actually suggest spending some time at your local comic shop. The one in my town has become a really nice little community for comic fans and aspiring artists, and I've made a couple of really good friends there.

[Shannon Chenoweth]

I would actually suggest spending some time at your local comic shop. The one in my town has become a really nice little community for comic fans and aspiring artists, and I've made a couple of really good friends there.

Oh believe me, I used to do that a good deal of the time. Joined the comic group and everything. I was even a huge help to them with customers, I would recommend all sorts of things to people when they came in and I was hanging out. But, things have changed. Also, I don't really have the money for many comics right now, so I would hate to hang out there when I'm not buying much anymore.

[alexia]

Yes, this is an honest question. I consider a lot of you guys friends, but I don't have any local friends right now. I find myself simply going to work and then coming home everyday to just do nothing really. I don't call anyone, and when I do go out to do something (which is just going to the store or whatever), I'm alone. So, do you guys find it really hard to make friends? I think as I get older, it's pretty difficult IMO.

Been living in this area since I was in middle school. I've had a number of close friends, but not anymore.

I've been at my current job for like 8 months now. I've tried to hang out with a couple people at work, but so far nothings happened. We just spend so many hours together we are tired at the end of the day. When you work with the same people for 45-50 hours a week it's bound to happen.

I think it depends on where you are in life, your natural personality, but ulimately, it is how open you are to others. Try checking out other options, but work is general the best place to meet people. Maybe, instead of hanging out w/ just one or 2 co-workers, invite everyone and make it a group thing.

Check out your library for possible groups to join. For example, I took a free class on the history of jazz at mine to learn more about jazz. Go early and stay later to discuss w/ other classmates.

Good Luck!

[Mek]

On a personal level, I find the concept of friends and friendship to be a total crock.

Maybe I've been burned by too many people who've used me as window dressing or have been forced to interact with me by others, but I really don't see the value of friends anymore. Sure, it is nice to be around others every now and then, I just don't see the point. And it's really hard for me to know if someone genuinely wants to be my friend or if they just want something from me.

But to answer your question, I'd try social events for things that interest you. Maybe get involved with a community outreach program or something. If you're still in college (I wouldn't know), try finding clubs and such and see if you can get in there.

I've met a few nice people at the local artists get-togethers here in town, so see if your local comic shop does something like that. I'm sure you'd meet some fantastic people there too. =]

[alexia]

On a personal level, I find the concept of friends and friendship to be a total crock.

Maybe I've been burned by too many people who've used me as window dressing or have been forced to interact with me by others, but I really don't see the value of friends anymore. Sure, it is nice to be around others every now and then, I just don't see the point. And it's really hard for me to know if someone genuinely wants to be my friend or if they just want something from me.

Yes, there are people who use others, but that is not everyone. The truth people who are users tend to show there spots quite early. It just a matter of knowing how to pick the losers vs someone worth being your friend. Keep in mind that friendship is a two way street, so it is important to give as it is to receive. I told you that it sounded stupid. :)

Sorry that you have had such bad luck. I find that people respond to the heart so, (as stupid as this sounds, it is true.) it is important to 1st find yourself and be comfortable and happy with who you are.

[ganthet]

I would go to places that you like to hang out and see what happens. I know alot of people that I call friends throught Work and The Comic Book shop I hang out at. Gaming is agreat way to get to know people also. You don't have to play RPGs you can have people over to play board games or card games there are a ton of them that are really interesting and fun to play.

[jacoblb]

Don't worry about it. In my experience some people have magnetic personality and make friends easy at their work places. I think as long as anyone has passion toward a hobby then you're bound to connect with people of similar interests. But, yes, making friends does become more difficult because they're focused on making a living for their families or whatever. Basically, less time for play and partying.

[Mikie]

I pay them.

[Donal DeLay]

Most, if not all, of my friends are in other states that I know online. Even them I barely talk to because they can't stand me more than 3 days a year. :D

I try to avoid making friends that I can go hang out with, because I generally end up spending money when I do ... and going outside.

Jon is the only one to slip through the cracks. Once he moves to Chicago, I'll be back to my lonesome ways, and only hang out with friends at cons.

[Ange-face]

I've been told that I make friends easily or that I am good at networking or whatever. I don't really know what to say about it though. If I am in a situation where I know almost nobody (like class at school or a job) I just try and talk to the people around me because we are all in the same boat. Sometimes if I am somewhere and I overhear a convo that I think I have some input in.. I sometimes speak up if I think the people won't mind.. and I do it in the most polite way possible.
I go to comic shops soemtimes several times a week.. and I go to the same places so I always see the same workers.. I make it a point to talk to them.. introduce myself.. etc. It got to the point here that the guys at one store (Out of Time) know me and what I like so if they get shirts or anything in stock they let me know it's coming in, etc. I don't necessarily hang out with any of them but just having that connection will make it easier for me if opportunites with people open in the future.

I do find it hard to HOLD friends though and keep people interested. I'm not good at calling people on a regular basis or thinking of people when I go out somewhere.. and people seem to have the same issue with me. It's always like 'Oh shit I should have called you!'. So mainly I stick with the same like 5-7 people I know.. I am ALWAYS looking for more people to hang out with though. Just meeting Mary and Goddard we have connected and stayed in contact enough that we make plans when we can.. though we seem to be like 'ships passing in the night' as Mary said it XD. We can't seem to be in the same places at the same time.

I really find that talking to strangers is just a matter of getting a little ballsy or extending your comfort zone a little. The worst that could happen is that people think you are strange for talking to them (in this day and age people don't really talk to strangers unless they are crazy people on public transport XD).. but sometimes people are intrigued by someone who just comes out and says Hi.

[Taki Soma]

just start being social, talk more, be open.

friends will start pouring in.

[Mary E. Brickthrower, MEB Grim]

My two best friends are people I met through my current job, and quite a few of my close friends are from past jobs that I had. It always seemed that I found 1 or 2 people that I really melded with really well.

It is a factor of LCD at times, but MYSPACE has helped me reconnect with people from my past, as well as meeting some new people as well.

My advice would be the same as some of the people above, get into outside activities that interest you, I would say go to the bar and hang out (my reading a comic book at a bar has sparked conversations SEVERAL times) but you have mentioned you're not much of a "partier." I've found the coffee house scene just as appealing when it comes to meeting new people.

Good luck.

[BJLG]

I met Mike Oeming at a role-playing game group in 1989, where we gamed together through '92. We formed a friendship that led to a creative partnership that stands strong to this day.

I met my wife when she joined my theater troupe in 1998. We married a year and a half later. She is now the troupe's Stage Manager, and my best friend.

Another great friend, Will, joined my troupe in 2003 in answer to a tech ad we placed. By simply being there whenever we needed him, and his own gravitation toward jobs that required attention, he gained our respect, then our trust, and ultimately our friendship. He is now a partner in the troupe and was named a producer this past year.

The point of all this is that each of these committed relationships were forged by getting involved in outside activities. Check your local library for local activities; and even some local churches can offer various activities that do not involve religiosity.

[Canucklehead2]

I am in a similar situation as you, Shannon, except mine is deliberate. I don't know why but for years I couldn't get away from people. I attract freaks. I literally had 3 stalkers from one of the classes I was teaching.

One was a guy my age (who didn't realize himself he was gay) who would call non stop every night to talk about Britany Spears and Boys 2 Men etc.

One was a 50yo mother of 2 of tried to get me drunk at the school Xmas party and slipped something into my drink a month later.

The 3rd was a married guy who also didn't know he was gay and kept poping up at my house uninvited.

Since then I had a priest stop by my print shop every day, just to stare at me. Touched my arm and asked how old I was and if I was interested in becoming a priest. Another one, a 20yo girl saw me on my friends web cam and decided it would be fun to drive across town to my work and peek in the window and stare at me for a couple mins, then drive home. She'd tell my friend what I was wearing that day.

Why? Cause I was too damn nice! (As for the priest I think it has something to do with the fact that I'm 25 but still look like a 16yo). I couldn't tell people to fuck off back then. I think those people were told to screw off by everyone around them, so when I didn't, they all fell in love with me or something. I think people with strong (loud) personalities can turn people off. If you're easy going, you shouldn't have a problem.

Like most people above said, just join something. I met a great group of people at a work enhancement seminar. People my age trying to get a better job, in similar circumstances as me. We lost touch because I have a select group of friends I hang out with(I don't trust just anybody anymore), but I could have stayed in touch if I wanted to.

I met my girlfriend at a bar a week before I moved across the country to Vancouver. I convinced her to leave her job and boyfriend to come move out with me and she did! We're still happy and are buying a house! You never know where you'll meet people.

One t hing is for sure, you can't meet anyone staying home. Go out and you never know what'll happen.. or who will follow you... :cool:

[Jacob Lyon Goddard]

become a "partier"

[Lyfeforce]

from the looks of the posts, the common theme is going to "outside events". I've got to agree. Mohamed has to go to the mountain, 'cause the mountain isn't coming to Mohamed this time.

My experience:
My best friend and I met through an old job and a common interest in Daredevil comics. Through him I came here to Jinxworld and have met alot of decent people (Oeming, Goddard, Mary, etc.) and even found a few connections between people I already knew. On top of that, I go out to parties and hang with his friends from college too. Heck, I even started going to my current LCS with my friends, got to know the people there to the point where I've been offered a job there. Even more on top of that, a few of the members of the board and I play Gears of War pretty much every weekend.

[Shannon Chenoweth]

become a "partier"

Won't happen. That's not me. I'm a very friendly, open, and talkative person, but not one to go out to clubs or bars. I'm always starting conversations with people when I am out. I just think some people think I'm too honest and for whatever reason people don't like that.
As far as joining a group or two, that has been something I've been thinking about. A writing group or what have you is more my speed than the local club.

[Scott Wegener]

Jesus Christ, Donal and Mek.

Could you two be a little more fucking morose? :-?

Shannon, if you're in a situation where your daily life is not putting you in places where you get to meet new people, then you'll need to make a serious effort to break your routine.

Every community has a schedule of events, and you should start checking them out. Even the fly-speck town I now live in has an active list of programs. Everything from open mics, to readings, to shows, etc.

Obviously you should focus on stuff that puts an emphasis on personal intereation. I'd be willing to bet that there's a writer's group somewhere nearby. You write comics. You should investigate stuff like that.

[Jacob Lyon Goddard]

Won't happen. That's not me.

you're refusal or inability to adapt that part of yourself might just maybe perhaps be some of the problem

[Mek]

Jesus Christ, Donal and Mek.

Could you two be a little more fucking morose? :-?



I could, but then I'd run the risk of making some tacky/tasteless jokes.

[M. Sean McManus]

you're refusal or inability to adapt that part of yourself might just maybe perhaps be some of the problem
I second this. Evolution is the key to life, or so "science" would have us believe. You have to adapt to grow.

As proof I'm adapting, I am refusing to make a comment about meeting "new friends" at rest stops along the NJ turnpike. Seriously.

[Corvus]

Yes, this is an honest question. I consider a lot of you guys friends, but I don't have any local friends right now. I find myself simply going to work and then coming home everyday to just do nothing really. I don't call anyone, and when I do go out to do something (which is just going to the store or whatever), I'm alone. So, do you guys find it really hard to make friends? I think as I get older, it's pretty difficult IMO.

I hope you don't mind someone who has only posted here a few times putting his two cents in, but here it goes. I'm just responding to the original post here, so apologies if I've duplicated anything.

1)Get out of the house.
2)Take part in out of work activities. Softball, poetry readings, open mic nights, the scrabble club, whatever interests you. Try things, even if you're not totally sure about them.
3)Talk to people, and smile at them. If you project a friendly, open, demeanor, people will respond to that. I don't mean you have to go around with a Joker style psycho grin on your mug, but if you tend to look unhappy or not approachable, people pick up on that and stay away. Its something I've had to work on. People seem to think I'm pissed off, but its just my natural expression. :) May or may not be a problem for you.

[Shannon Chenoweth]

you're refusal or inability to adapt that part of yourself might just maybe perhaps be some of the problem

I am more than willing to go out and do activities and such, but the club and bar scene is NOT me. I don't see that as a problem Goddard. If something is uncomfortable for me I won't do it. And yes, I have tried it before in the past. I don't mind hanging out at a bar when I'm at cons with people I know and want to talk to, but I'm not a drinker, so it's not my scene. There is nothing wrong with that.

[Shannon Chenoweth]

Obviously you should focus on stuff that puts an emphasis on personal intereation. I'd be willing to bet that there's a writer's group somewhere nearby. You write comics. You should investigate stuff like that.

I have started looking into this. There is a writer's group that I just joined. They meet once a month. I'm going to go to the meeting next week, see how that goes.

[Shannon Chenoweth]

I second this. Evolution is the key to life, or so "science" would have us believe. You have to adapt to grow.


Yes, but if I know I don't like and/or feel comfortable somewhere I refuse to go there. Not everyone is a club/bar scene person, you know? I agree with the getting out more, but not to a place I feel uncomfortable in. It's great that a lot of you like those sorts of places, but as someone who doesn't like dancing and who really rarely drinks, it's just not my thing.

[alexia]

you're refusal or inability to adapt that part of yourself might just maybe perhaps be some of the problem

I second this. Evolution is the key to life, or so "science" would have us believe. You have to adapt to grow.

As proof I'm adapting, I am refusing to make a comment about meeting "new friends" at rest stops along the NJ turnpike. Seriously.

I hope you don't mind someone who has only posted here a few times putting his two cents in, but here it goes. I'm just responding to the original post here, so apologies if I've duplicated anything.

1)Get out of the house.
2)Take part in out of work activities. Softball, poetry readings, open mic nights, the scrabble club, whatever interests you. Try things, even if you're not totally sure about them.
3)Talk to people, and smile at them. If you project a friendly, open, demeanor, people will respond to that. I don't mean you have to go around with a Joker style psycho grin on your mug, but if you tend to look unhappy or not approachable, people pick up on that and stay away. Its something I've had to work on. People seem to think I'm pissed off, but its just my natural expression. :) May or may not be a problem for you.

Shannon,

don't take them too seriously. I higly suspect that they are simply posting to get rise out of you.

or

They have really tiny brains which have been destroyed by the large consumption of beer.:no:

[Mek]

Yes, but if I know I don't like and/or feel comfortable somewhere I refuse to go there. Not everyone is a club/bar scene person, you know? I agree with the getting out more, but not to a place I feel uncomfortable in. It's great that a lot of you like those sorts of places, but as someone who doesn't like dancing and who really rarely drinks, it's just not my thing.

Ya'know Shannon, I'm pretty much the same way. I dislike clubs in general (too many people for my liking) and the overall club/bar thing just disgusts me. No offense to people who do like it, but that's just how I roll. I'm a fairly anti-social person when I'm not on my bipolar 'introvert/extrovert' phases, honestly.

But despite my general apathy/hatred for the concept of friendship, I do on occasion get kinda lonely. It's a masochistic thing, I'm sure of it. Then again, I don't go to college to make friends, I'm just going there because I like working and going to school. (As odd as that may sound)

I'm running the risk of retreading on old ground here, but I'd look at what your interests are and find groups or places that cater to them. Might be hard at first, but searching will have a big pay off eventually.

Do you work somewhere? I'm not familiar with how you are with co-workers, but maybe getting together with a couple of them after work wouldn't be a bad idea. But again, I'm not familiar with your situation work-wise, so just ignore this bit if you want. =];;;;

[SaintDom]

Here's a random idea- do you ever just strike up conversations on the subway or the person on the cash register at the comic store? Who knows, it may help.

[DaGetHighKnight]

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

[Shannon Chenoweth]

Here's a random idea- do you ever just strike up conversations on the subway or the person on the cash register at the comic store? Who knows, it may help.

I talk to almost everyone. Ask some of these guys here who have met me. I'm quite the friendly talkative type. :)

[Boss Hogg]

Lived at my place for three years... don't know a single person in my building outside of .... your that guy at the video store.

Making friends isn't hard. Making the right friends is.

[Corvus]

Shannon,

don't take them too seriously. I higly suspect that they are simply posting to get rise out of you.

Not at all.

[Boss Hogg]

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Aww yeah!, wait.... damn you frank.

[alexia]

Not at all.

Untschildgen sie bitte. Sorry, I must have accidently selected your comments so, I wasn't referring to you. I actually thought your response was quite sincere.

As I stated above, sorry!!!!!!

[Corvus]

Untschildgen sie bitte. Sorry, I must have accidently selected your comments so, I wasn't referring to you. I actually thought your response was quite sincere.

As I stated above, sorry!!!!!!

No problem. If I was trying to get a rise out of someone, I probably would have insulted their appearance, scent or fashion-sense! ;)

[BJLG]

Good words, Corvus!

Your advice to Shannon has followed the pattern that most of us have conveyed to her. Such consensus is a good indicator that there is a value to our words! :)

[Mary E. Brickthrower, MEB Grim]

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Nice, Frankie, nice. :)

(would anyone believe I've never done coke? It's the goddamn truth)

[alexia]

Good words, Corvus!

Your advice to Shannon has followed the pattern that most of us have conveyed to her. Such consensus is a good indicator that there is a value to our words! :)

In this particular case, I will agree with you. On the other hand, one should remember that just because the majority holds one opinion, it does not make it true. For instance, look at the president. There were many fools that voted for that idiot.

[Lanowar]

How do I make friends? Real friends are people I meet at parties, school. courses and keep in touch. I've become friends with people on forums and stuff and met them at conventions and the like. I'm a nice guy so usually I'll talk to most people who don't have that whole "I might do bad things to you" mentality

[Mary E. Brickthrower, MEB Grim]

In this particular case, I will agree with you. On the other hand, one should remember that just because the majority holds one opinion, it does not make it true. For instance, look at the president. There were many fools that voted for that idiot.

word. You speak the goddamn truth.

[alexia]

word. You speak the goddamn truth.


Whenever I hear someone complain about Mr. Puppet/President, I think of all the brainless idiots that voted for him. I, then, wonder was this one of the fools!

[Mary E. Brickthrower, MEB Grim]

Whenever I hear someone complain about Mr. Puppet/President, I think of all the brainless idiots that voted for him. I, then, wonder was this one of the fools!

My father is a Republican, and voted for Bush the 1st time around. Within 3 months, he apologized to me and my mother for helping to put him in office.

To have that PUPPET back in office for a 2nd time just hurts my feelings. And you know, the fact that a friend from HIgh School died in this STUPID EXCUSE FOR A WAR for this PUPPET. Argh...yeah, just a lil bit bitter.

[Scott Wegener]

I could, but then I'd run the risk of making some tacky/tasteless jokes.

:surrend:

[Shannon Chenoweth]

Whenever I hear someone complain about Mr. Puppet/President, I think of all the brainless idiots that voted for him. I, then, wonder was this one of the fools!

Hey now, while I don't like Bush anymore, I voted for him both times. The only reason he got my vote the 2nd time is because he was the lesser of two evils in my mind, also I couldn't in good conscience or what have you vote for Kerry. And, voting Independent, while not a bad candidate is sadly throwing away your vote. Honestly, I didn't want to vote for any of the candidates. They all sucked IMO. But, I believe that if you don't vote, you can't bitch. However, you can vote for someone and later bitch that he stinks. There is nothing wrong with that. Doesn't make those of us who voted for him brainless idiots. I find that going too far.

[BJLG]

Coming to Mary's aid (not that she needs it!).
I, then, wonder if I, Alexia, am one of the fools!
Neither this original quote, nor my intentional misquote, are recommended ways to make friends.

[Donal DeLay]

Jesus Christ, Donal and Mek.

Could you two be a little more fucking morose? :-?

Shannon, if you're in a situation where your daily life is not putting you in places where you get to meet new people, then you'll need to make a serious effort to break your routine.

Every community has a schedule of events, and you should start checking them out. Even the fly-speck town I now live in has an active list of programs. Everything from open mics, to readings, to shows, etc.

Obviously you should focus on stuff that puts an emphasis on personal intereation. I'd be willing to bet that there's a writer's group somewhere nearby. You write comics. You should investigate stuff like that.

Will you be my friend?

http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k169/bketiak/mangsa.jpg

[Shannon Chenoweth]

Just to let everyone know, while I appreciate the advice you guys have given, I haven't taken anyone too seriously with the jokes and all. So, it's cool. :)

[alexia]

My father is a Republican, and voted for Bush the 1st time around. Within 3 months, he apologized to me and my mother for helping to put him in office.

To have that PUPPET back in office for a 2nd time just hurts my feelings. And you know, the fact that a friend from HIgh School died in this STUPID EXCUSE FOR A WAR for this PUPPET. Argh...yeah, just a lil bit bitter.

I'm sorry about your friend. I know that these words are inadequate. :sad:

Hey now, while I don't like Bush anymore, I voted for him both times. The only reason he got my vote the 2nd time is because he was the lesser of two evils in my mind, also I couldn't in good conscience or what have you vote for Kerry. And, voting Independent, while not a bad candidate is sadly throwing away your vote. Honestly, I didn't want to vote for any of the candidates. They all sucked IMO. But, I believe that if you don't vote, you can't bitch. However, you can vote for someone and later bitch that he stinks. There is nothing wrong with that. Doesn't make those of us who voted for him brainless idiots. I find that going too far.

Granted that the brainless idiot statement was unnecessary, but why is it that greatest complainers of the Bush adminstration tend to be those who voted for him? Do they not have responsiblity for putting him that office?

Coming to Mary's aid (not that she needs it!).

Neither this original quote, nor my intentional misquote, are recommended ways to make friends.

Ummmm, I wasn't attacking Mary. In fact, I suspect she shares a similar view point on our current President as I do. I was actually referring to those that voted for Bush. The reason being is that it is easily to complain when you did not get what you want and/or unhappy, but those that voted for Bush also have the responsiblility of putting him in that position. I am not stating that they do not have the right to complain, but they share some of the guilt.


Furthermore, these our my opinions. I do not expect or assume that you and/or anyone else has to agree with me. In fact, if you disagree with me, feel free to tell me why. There should not be any reason why such a debate cannot be conducted in a respectful manner.

[Oeming]

I like to create "natural desasters" and then bond with the person Im trapped with.

[alexia]

I like to create "natural desasters" and then bond with the person Im trapped with.



heheheh, yeah, nothing contrived about that. :) :) :)

[Shannon Chenoweth]

Granted that the brainless idiot statement was unnecessary, but why is it that greatest complainers of the Bush adminstration tend to be those who voted for him? Do they not have responsiblity for putting him that office?


Maybe they too realized too late that he was bad news. I don't know. And, we all have a responsibility for putting whoever in office. Of course, it's not really our votes that get a President into office in the end anyway. Still, I'm not saying that whoever voted for him shouldn't say "yeah, I made a mistake," but if someone hounds them on and on about it (not saying you do), that is too much also.

[BJLG]

I like to create "natural desasters" and then bond with the person Im trapped with.

So that's how you did it!!!

[alexia]

I like to create "natural desasters" and then bond with the person Im trapped with.


Natural disasters are great way to make new friends, but do not forget about alien attacks, fighting off zombies, running scared from a mad crazed killer as well. :twisted:

[BJLG]

...but do not forget about alien attacks, fighting off zombies, running scared from a mad crazed killer as well. :twisted:

So that's how you did it!!!


:cool:

[alexia]

So that's how you did it!!!


:cool:

Yeah, it has nothing to with the fact that most think that I am sweet, kind, and friendly. :) :) :)

[Mek]

I like that how sooner or later, everything turns to politics. */sarcasm*

No, seriously, I'd be LESS inclined to even talk to someone if they yapped about politics every so often. They have every right to, but that's one subject I cannot stand to hear (if anyone's curious, I'm a pseudo-Libertarian/Anarchist and leave it at that) because eventually it all turns into a screamfest of 'I'm right and your wrong and you're a [insert choice grade school insults here]' -and this is with GROWN ADULTS mind you- and frankly, the one good way to destroy a friendship -or potential friendship- is to talk about politics and religion.

Plus I'm conflict-avoidant too. I don't like it when people fight. =(

Mike: That is a very good way to make friends. LMAO.

Anyhow, seeing as I just recently got employed (I'm now a retail slave to the world of teen-young adult fashion, yay), this'll be interesting to see if I, the social reject and anti-social wraith, will be able to make at least one work friend.

[Scott Wegener]

Y'know Shannon, in retrospect, asking a bunch of social misfits like us about making friends . . .

Maybe not the best idea ever. ;D

[alexia]

I like that how sooner or later, everything turns to politics. */sarcasm*

No, seriously, I'd be LESS inclined to even talk to someone if they yapped about politics every so often. They have every right to, but that's one subject I cannot stand to hear (if anyone's curious, I'm a pseudo-Libertarian/Anarchist and leave it at that) because eventually it all turns into a screamfest of 'I'm right and your wrong and you're a [insert choice grade school insults here]' -and this is with GROWN ADULTS mind you- and frankly, the one good way to destroy a friendship -or potential friendship- is to talk about politics and religion.

Plus I'm conflict-avoidant too. I don't like it when people fight. =(

Mike: That is a very good way to make friends. LMAO.

Anyhow, seeing as I just recently got employed (I'm now a retail slave to the world of teen-young adult fashion, yay), this'll be interesting to see if I, the social reject and anti-social wraith, will be able to make at least one work friend.

To each there own. I can respect the fact that politics & religion are an subjects that you are uncomfortable to discuss.I think it is always important to know what you can and cannot handle. Good luck at the new job!:)

Sidebar -
Not everyone who discusses the above subject matter has a need to scream and change others minds. I grew up in a family in which we all have very different opinion with one another, but we have always felt comfortable in sharing our opinion w/ one another.

In fact, one of my favorite memories was when I was in my early 20's. I was working 2 jobs + going to college. My 2nd job, there was a lady, who was a christian, a mother of 3, and in her early 40's, working part-time. I don't know how we started talking about it, but we were discussing abortion. We had very very different views and the discussion was becoming very heated. Finally, I just looked at her and said, "We obviously have different view points in which we feel very strongly about. I am not trying to change your mind about anything, I am simply trying to explain my view point. I like you and like working with you, so maybe we should drop this because we both are getting upset." That did. We actually continued the discussion in which I learned quite a bit from her. Neither of us changed our opinions, but had new understanding for each other. In fact, although our conclusions were very different, our reasons/arguments were very similar. (Our reasons/arguments were based upon compassion for life and others.)

After that, we were able to discuss everything and anything underneath the sun with ease.

The point I am trying to make (but failing miserably), is that it is possible to discuss sensitive subject matter without screaming, but it depends on the person. The key is that not everyone has to agree with everyone. The point of discuss is to learn and understand how the other person came to his/her conclusion. I realize that not everyone has this ability. I suspect that you probably have run into more than your fair share of others who cannot discuss such material without getting nasty.

Yikes, this is longwinded. I did not intend it to sound like a lecture or anything of the such. Because ultimately, you have to feel comfortable in discussing such subject matter. If you don't feel comfortable, then that is okay. I was simply trying to state (albeit in a round about manner) that there are some of us, who are capable of having a discussion without the need for others to agree with our opinion. :)

Again, congrats on the new job.


Y'know Shannon, in retrospect, asking a bunch of social misfits like us about making friends . . .

Maybe not the best idea ever. ;D

Natural disasters are great way to make new friends, but do not forget about alien attacks, fighting off zombies, running scared from a mad crazed killer as well. :twisted:

I like to create "natural desasters" and then bond with the person Im trapped with.

Gee whiz, Scott. Are you referring to the natural disaster, alien attacks, fighting zombies, or running from a mad crazed killer scenarios????

teheheheh tehehehehe. :eek: :) :eek:

[DaniDarko]

Yes, this is an honest question. I consider a lot of you guys friends, but I don't have any local friends right now. I find myself simply going to work and then coming home everyday to just do nothing really. I don't call anyone, and when I do go out to do something (which is just going to the store or whatever), I'm alone. So, do you guys find it really hard to make friends? I think as I get older, it's pretty difficult IMO.

I have trouble making friends. I dropped out of school two years ago and didn't really have friends there. I met a few nice people at a comicon, randomly. They were just friendly and I e-mailed one and we met up and asked for a number so we could meet up. We did and we've met up nearly every week since then because we had a lot in common even though he was a lot older than me. He drives me to cons and some of the people I met at my first comicon remained friendly with me and we started hanging out, too. They helped me with my confidence since they had been through a lot of the same stuff. Nobody my age, really, but still close friends.

I just started an acting course yesterday for kids my age... I was afraid that I would just left in the corner since most of them knew each other all ready, but they were really nice and invited me out afterwards. Maybe you could try something like that? I had to force myself to do it since I'm a self-conscious teenager... The first class totally helped me a lot.

[Shannon Chenoweth]

Y'know Shannon, in retrospect, asking a bunch of social misfits like us about making friends . . .

Maybe not the best idea ever. ;D

Ha! :)

[Diana]

I don't make friends easily. Certainly not at work! I find that I don't have enough in common with those "normal" people. :)

I ALWAYS find friends quickly through gaming. I go to my local gaming store - the kind that has events happening like TCG tournaments and stocks miniatures other than Games Workshop. They always know people who meet for board games, card games or RPGs! And those people I certainly have more in common with!

Most of the time I get into a group and after the initial Who-are-you-and-what-do-you-do chat I fit right in!

Even if you don't normally play games (apparently those people exist) people who do are generally very enthusiastic about teaching them and convincing you just how cool their game is and that is always a good basis to start.

And after I lose the first game I want a rematch so the next gathering is arranged! The start of a wonderful friendship! :D

[Taki Soma]

I like to create "natural desasters" and then bond with the person Im trapped with.

I feel used

[DaGetHighKnight]

Cocaine is a hell of a drug!