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View Full Version : If I ever meet God I'm gonna elbow drop him in the nuts...



noble
04-07-2007, 07:36 AM
...through a flaming table, made out of puppies.


What the hell is the point of giving pregnent women boobies so big that they can be seen from space if they're too tender to be touched?


What kind of cruel, fucked up deity would taunt a man so?

Putting something that if you slightly touch them will get you sandblasted in the nuts, but making them so you just want to grab them, stick your face between them, and go bloueuoeueoueouoeue.


WHY!?!?!


DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMNNNNN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!

BURKE
04-07-2007, 07:40 AM
I.......I feel your pain brother......(wipes tear). I went through this horror 3 times with my wife. I truly think that this is one of the main reasons i am agnostic.

SeanC
04-07-2007, 07:43 AM
Putting something that if you slightly touch them will get you sandblasted in the nuts, but making them so you just want to grab them, stick your face between them, and go bloueuoeueoueouoeue.

Kari's only been pregnant for a little while, hasn't she? They've grown bigger already? :scared: Did you make them mad, they turned green and started growing in size, because I didn't know it at all happened so fast.

Did you motorboat'em? I bet you did, you motorboatin' sonofabitch sailor, you.

Thommy Melanson
04-07-2007, 07:48 AM
That's strange...Kari never complains when I touch them.

But then again, it's not my hands I'm using when I do... ;)

sumopanda
04-07-2007, 07:52 AM
Yeah, Kari lets me touch them all the time, and she says it's awesome!

Hate_Prime
04-07-2007, 07:53 AM
First, can we get a definite ruling from these theologians if whether or not God even has nuts? All that studying yet they seem to know less than a shit more than others about anything.

BURKE
04-07-2007, 07:57 AM
The mormons believe he actualy had sex with Mary.

SeanC
04-07-2007, 08:12 AM
First, can we get a definite ruling from these theologians if whether or not God even has nuts? All that studying yet they seem to know less than a shit more than others about anything.

If God has nuts, could he will himself to have blue balls so bad that even he couldn't relieve it?

Ray G.
04-07-2007, 08:40 AM
Hey, I missed this news.

Congrats! :D

Matt O'Keefe
04-07-2007, 08:41 AM
Hey, I missed this news.

Congrats! :D

How did you miss it? The thread was on top of the first page for over a week.:)

Ray G.
04-07-2007, 08:43 AM
How did you miss it? The thread was on top of the first page for over a week.:)

I generally stay out of threads that look A. too long or B. not about comics or politics. :D

Special Agent Bachman
04-07-2007, 08:44 AM
or we could save the dripping's and make gravy! :)

Holy shit.

Matt O'Keefe
04-07-2007, 08:45 AM
I generally stay out of threads that look A. too long or B. not about comics or politics. :D

:no:


And speaking of politics:
http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r141/OK-Man/Potpourri/Anti-RepublicanSymbol.jpg

Special Agent Bachman
04-07-2007, 08:46 AM
One of my posts just went back in time somehow.

Ryan Elliott
04-07-2007, 08:59 AM
Ha! That's what you get for getting her pregnant!


No more fun time for a LOOOOONG time! :joker:

Jacob Lyon Goddard
04-07-2007, 09:24 AM
The mormons believe he actualy had sex with Mary.
:angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:
Goddard's the only God who gets to bang Mary!

SeanC
04-07-2007, 09:26 AM
.

SeanC
04-07-2007, 09:28 AM
My boobs have grown a entire cup size. :)

:) You seem pleased. Is it because they're bigger or is it because they're bigger and used to torture your man? :twisted:

chrisfasowned
04-07-2007, 09:29 AM
um, pics?

:surrend:

Brewtown Andy
04-07-2007, 09:31 AM
...through a flaming table, made out of puppies.


What the hell is the point of giving pregnent women boobies so big that they can be seen from space if they're too tender to be touched?


What kind of cruel, fucked up deity would taunt a man so?

Putting something that if you slightly touch them will get you sandblasted in the nuts, but making them so you just want to grab them, stick your face between them, and go bloueuoeueoueouoeue.


WHY!?!?!


DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMNNNNN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!You think this is bad, wait til they start leaking.

Drkemerld73
04-07-2007, 09:38 AM
On the positive side, it's been said that a woman's sex drive gets kicked up a few notches while pregnant. If that happens in your case, then I'm sure you can touch.

That's gotta be something to look forward to, right? :)

Foolish Mortal
04-07-2007, 09:43 AM
or we could save the dripping's and make gravy! :)
.....

..........

..........................................






Yep.....I'm speechless. :surrend:

Special Agent Bachman
04-07-2007, 10:38 AM
How did you miss it? The thread was on top of the first page for over a week.:)

It didn't come up when he searched for his name.

noble
04-07-2007, 11:07 AM
You think this is bad, wait til they start leaking.


I've come prepared.

I have clothespins.

Lyfeforce
04-07-2007, 11:08 AM
damn sir. I'm deeply sorry for that.

Thommy Melanson
04-07-2007, 11:13 AM
I've come prepared.

I have clothespins.

And changing her filter and pan every 3000 miles may help with that as well.

kari
04-07-2007, 11:27 AM
Kari's only been pregnant for a little while, hasn't she? They've grown bigger already?


My boobs have grown a entire cup size. :)

arthurloewenkamp
04-07-2007, 11:30 AM
My boobs have grown a entire cup size. :)

They come with cups??? That's a lot of sand.

kari
04-07-2007, 11:33 AM
And changing her filter and pan every 3000 miles may help with that as well.

or we could save the dripping's and make gravy! :)

I AM GROOT!
04-07-2007, 01:57 PM
Why was this thread all the way back on page 2 when I found it? Giant boobies are first-page material. :nonono2:

bradical
04-07-2007, 02:06 PM
making them so you just want to grab them, stick your face between them, and go bloueuoeueoueouoeue.


you motorboating sonofabitch!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=bHP5H1FZ_lg

noble
04-07-2007, 06:11 PM
I tried to motorboat, and she ended up sinking my battleship.

I need some ice :surrend:

changingshades
04-07-2007, 06:19 PM
c'mere man

hug it out, bitch

moonspider
04-07-2007, 06:25 PM
who are you...randy savage?
give ol' god the atomic legdrop....with that he'll be finished!

saymama
04-07-2007, 07:52 PM
she never complains when i lick them ever so lightly!

bradical
04-07-2007, 08:09 PM
I tried to motorboat, and she ended up sinking my battleship.

I need some ice :surrend:

you got a pregnant lady, you need a...


http://www.fitbuy.com/images/cn1411h.jpg

KingMob
04-07-2007, 08:10 PM
this should cut down your gaming time considerably

noble
04-07-2007, 10:59 PM
this should cut down your gaming time considerably


Nah...I can just say I'm teaching the kid to play.

4 days old is old enough to learn to play Gears of War isn't it? :grope:

kari
04-08-2007, 03:44 AM
:) You seem pleased. Is it because they're bigger or is it because they're bigger and used to torture your man? :twisted:

Both.
:)

Its a nice to actually feel them jiggle when I walk. Now I know how Tonia feels....well, not really maybe just a little. :lol:

kari
04-08-2007, 03:47 AM
.....

..........

..........................................






Yep.....I'm speechless. :surrend:

You've never had Teet milk gravy? Its the sweetest! :lol:

kari
04-08-2007, 03:49 AM
she never complains when i lick them ever so lightly!

If Noble had seen this happen, this thread wouldn't exist. He would be out looking for a video camera. ;)

dEnny!
04-08-2007, 04:07 AM
...through a flaming table, made out of puppies.


What the hell is the point of giving pregnent women boobies so big that they can be seen from space if they're too tender to be touched?


What kind of cruel, fucked up deity would taunt a man so?

Putting something that if you slightly touch them will get you sandblasted in the nuts, but making them so you just want to grab them, stick your face between them, and go bloueuoeueoueouoeue.


WHY!?!?!


DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMNNNNN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!

Maybe he thought that if you were having children you would be mature enough to control yourself or be selfless enough to understand your wife's feelings since she IS carrying your child.

Just saying. :)

noble
04-08-2007, 05:53 AM
Maybe he thought that if you were having children you would be mature enough to control yourself or be selfless enough to understand your wife's feelings since she IS carrying your child.

Just saying. :)


You really haven't paid attention to a single thing I've ever posted on this board have you?

:lol:

KingMob
04-08-2007, 05:56 AM
Nah...I can just say I'm teaching the kid to play.

4 days old is old enough to learn to play Gears of War isn't it? :grope:

newborns can only see about 12", you might have a hard time proving that.

noble
04-08-2007, 06:10 AM
newborns can only see about 12", you might have a hard time proving that.

That's why I have a very large tv.

I knew there was a non selfish reason behind that purchase.

Take that naysayers!

Or I could just buy a pair of those new virtual reality HD goggles they have for computers that you slap on your head and put a large HD image in front of your eyes.

I will make the lawnmower man out of my child.


(The movie not the weird ass short story)

SeanC
04-08-2007, 06:45 AM
newborns can only see about 12", you might have a hard time proving that.

Yeah, it's about the distances from Kari's swollen boobs to Kari's angry, Noble-induenced face :)

I AM GROOT!
04-08-2007, 06:50 AM
adults in their 20's can only see about 12", you might have a hard time proving that.


Yeah, it's about the distances from Kari's swollen boobs to Kari's angry, Noble-induenced face :)

I think I just found my new excuse for staring at women's boobs upclose. :thumb:

SeanC
04-08-2007, 07:26 AM
What I find hilarious about all this is that while Kari's boobs are getting bigger and sensitive to the touch Noble's globes are probably doing the same. While Kari's condition is appealing Noble's.....well.....not so much :)

Once that pregnancy lovin' starts you should be okay, Noble.

saymama
04-08-2007, 12:56 PM
If Noble had seen this happen, this thread wouldn't exist. He would be out looking for a video camera. ;)

maybe the thought will distract him enough to stop complaining. by then you should be at the horny-need-it-all-the-time stage.