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View Full Version : Dammit, I've lost it.



Dreg
03-14-2007, 12:37 PM
Ever have that really warm and contented feeling, like you just farted in church but managed to successfully shift the blame to the senior citizen sitting next to you by quickly looking in their direction before anybody else had a chance to react? A moment where the world is almost resplendent with release and relaxation. I had a feeling just like that. Sort of a guiltless enjoyment of life in all of its splendor.

But now I can't remember why, dammit. There was a reason for why I'm so happy, but now that reason eludes me, like a Pringle in the middle of a Pringles can. Not the last Pringle at the bottom of the can, mind you, because the last Pringle can easily be retrieved simply by tilting the can on its side and catching it. I'm talking about the Pringle where it's close enough for you to reach in, and you don't want to tilt the can over because you know some crumbs and shit will spill out and make a mess, so you reach in and you can only move three fingers at a time, like you're giving some fine young lady "the shocker," (only with a potato chip vagina) and the inside's so greasy that the chip just won't cooperate, juking and jiving like a salty Deon Branch. Kind of like that. My memory's like that.

Now I can't remember why I'm happy, and if I don't figure it out soon, I won't be happy anymore. HELP ME.

moonspider
03-14-2007, 12:41 PM
dude....that whole story that you just wrote there is awesome....
you're happy because this is the best threat dialogue ever..


PRAISE YOU!!!!

Dreg
03-14-2007, 12:56 PM
dude....that whole story that you just wrote there is awesome....
you're happy because this is the best threat dialogue ever..


PRAISE YOU!!!!

Thank you muchly. Your words put a spring in my step. Like a hungry coyote concealing an Acme catapault on a deserted highway road in the hopes of feasting on a purple bird that could only be a heat-induced illusion, because Roadrunners aren't purple, dammit.

moonspider
03-14-2007, 01:06 PM
Thank you muchly. Your words put a spring in my step. Like a hungry coyote concealing an Acme catapault on a deserted highway road in the hopes of feasting on a purple bird that could only be a heat-induced illusion, because Roadrunners aren't purple, dammit.





you should write a handbook for analogies...seriosuly
i'dbuy it

Eric Dashen
03-14-2007, 02:11 PM
(only with a potato chip vagina)

I think this is probably the funniest thing ive read all day.

ZombieSpeedball
03-14-2007, 02:25 PM
:boogie: Seriously man, just feel content with what you wrote here. It should be enough to make you happy :boogie:

Icaruss
03-14-2007, 02:49 PM
Deep.