DOA: THE MOVIE... wow

[Brian Reed]

http://kotaku.com/gaming/clips/clip-the-whole-doa-movie-yes-the-whole-damn-thing-232753.php

I've only gotten as far as the end of the first scene with Kasumi and... wow. WOW. I may need a couple bottles of rum to get any further.

[Brian Reed]

May I suggest the 20 minute mark? About that time, our heroes have had nanites placed in their blood strem that relays vital stats to a computer system so it can track their health bars and annonce "K.O. So and so wins"

[Brian Reed]

I had to check out to get some work done, but man i repeat my previous review: wow. Just... wow.

[intercept789]

You realize you are using the exact phrase Bill Gates used to describe the new Vista OS? I think that is very telling for either the OS or the DOA movie.

I have only seen snippets of the movie, and fortunately when I clicked on your link, it said something like "this movie is not available." Guess it's my lucky day.

[SimiBoyz]

I must see this now. I'll just make sure I have plenty of booze at hand.

[tymothil]

eh....i've got too many truly insane wuxia movies for this to make much of an impression on me.

[Noodle]

eh....i've got too many truly insane wuxia movies for this to make much of an impression on me.


ohhh, im a huge fan of the kung fu movies. Feel free to throw out some recomendations, im always looking for new ones.

[tymothil]

ohhh, im a huge fan of the kung fu movies. Feel free to throw out some recomendations, im always looking for new ones.

Well, depends on what you're looking for, and what you've already seen. Some quick ones off the top of my head:

Fantasy Mission Force

Easily the most insane Jackie Chan movie ever made, at least plotwise. The fighting is good (while nothing spectacular), but the plot revolves around an attempt to rescue Abraham Lincoln and 2 other generals during world war II. They need to be saved from Asian nazis that ride in on top of cars, one of which looks like the General Lee but with swastikas. On the way, there's Chinese hopping ghosts (with the theme from Blade Runner played over them), an Amazon village, rigged wrestling matches gone awry, a Benny Hill sketch, a woman in leather with a rocket launcher who blows up her own house on purpose, bizarre musical numbers, and so, so much more.

Wing Chun

This is a great Michelle Yeoh movie, with some wonderful fight scenes. It has a general lightheartedness and sense of fun to it that's hard to resist.

The Legend of Zu (aka Zu Warriors)

Tsui Hark remakes his own film. Flabbergasting. Calling the plot incoherent is vastly understating the case. But it is visually stunning, and even the less than stellar CGI lends itself well to this type of movie. Hard to go wrong with a Tsui Hark movie (whether directing or producing) for this genre, I also recommed: The Once Upon a Time in China series, The Chinese Ghost Story series, and Dragon Inn, for starters.

The Twins Effect

This movie, by all rights, should be crap, and indeed, a lot of people will tell you that it is. The stars are all Chinese pop stars from one record label (with an extended Jackie Chan cameo), and it's a vampire movie, always a bad sign. However, it's fun, absurd, and has some surprisingly dark twists to it. The fight over the teddy bear is great. The fact that there is a kung fu battle over a teddy bear is great in and of itself.

King Of Beggars

Early 90s Stephen Chow (the guy who did Shaolin Soccer and Kung Fu Hustle) movie. Silly, slapstick, entertaining.

Ong Bak

Thai, not Chinese. Muay Thai, not Kung Fu. Insane. Insipid plot, terrible acting, totally redemeed by the over the top action.



If you tell me a bit more about what movies/styles you've liked, I can give you more recommendations. I've got about 150-200 of these types of movies, ranging from early 70s to stuff that came out last year.

[mewelke]

Wing Chun, one of my favs.

I'd highly reccomend the Heroic Trio films as well. Partially because the second one is so depressing it actually loops around to funny.

[tymothil]

Yeah, the Heroic Trio ones are grim as hell, it's great.

[Brian Reed]

See, I think you're missing the point. Even when the films you've listed are awfully plotted and acted, at least the fight scenes are still spectacular.

DOA is like watching a fat herpes-coated asshole squeeze out a singing turd. There is nothing redeeming about it.

[ramtower]

The singing turd sounds like it's got some redeeming qualities.

[Brian Reed]

See, that's the part you can't look away from.

[Brian Reed]

The part that makes you post a link to the message board.

[Brian Reed]

The part that makes you lie awake at night.

[tymothil]

See, I think you're missing the point. Even when the films you've listed are awfully plotted and acted, at least the fight scenes are still spectacular.

DOA is like watching a fat herpes-coated asshole squeeze out a singing turd. There is nothing redeeming about it.

Well, I was listing those films in response to a request for recommendations, not in response to DOA. If I was going to list movies in response to DOA, I'd suggest Drunken Master Killer (no drunk boxing at all, it's clearly named that to cash in on Drunken Master), or Bruce Lee Fights Back From The Grave (starring Bruce Li!), or any one of many others I unfortunatly own.

My point was that there was nothing making me want to watch DOA, it commits the worst cinematic sin of being boring. It's not bad enough to be good, not nearly ludicrous or over the top enough to be entertaining, it's just inert. It's disappointing, because I've actually liked a fair number of movies that Corey Yuen has directed, particulary the Fong Sai Yuk movies (another recommendation). This is just him neutered, cashing a paycheck.

ETA: It is the Charmed of kung fu movies.

[Noodle]

ohh yeah, you have some good ones thats for sure.

im on the didnt like twins effect side of things, although im not sure i watched the whole thing, maybe ill give it another try.

loved zu warriors, great eye candy.

one of my all time favorites is Iron Monkey. great fighting, good story.

Sha po lang is amazing, probably the best action movie ive seen in the last few years.

i was very disapointed with dragon tiger gate earlier this year. so much potential and it seemed like it just kind of fell apart. again, maybe i should give it another viewing, Donnie Yen always gets a 2nd chance in my book.

[tymothil]

Have you seen the Legend Of Fong Sai Yuk movies? They were just called Legend and Legend 2 here in the states, I believe.

[Noodle]

im pretty sure ive seen them, but its been a long time. Michelle Yeoh and Jet Li right?

ill have to watch them again, im in the mood for a good kung fu movie.

that and i need to watch kung fu hustle again for the 10th time or so, everytime I watch it, I find some new reason to love it.

[tymothil]

Kung Fu Hustle is indeed an excellent movie. What about Kung Fu Cult Master? A good early 90s Jet Li movie.

[Bart A Thompson]

Arg! It's not playing. I can't even find it on Google video. I wanna complain about how much it sucks, too. :cry:

[beta-ray]

So you are telling me you cannot adjust the bounciness of their boobs when you are watching it like you can in the video game?

Damn, if that's the case, why should I bother?

[Noodle]

Kung Fu Hustle is indeed an excellent movie. What about Kung Fu Cult Master? A good early 90s Jet Li movie.

ohhh, early 90s is my favorite time for kung fu movies. the pinnacle of wire work and before CG started (although I like some of the new cg stuff too). I'll check this one out soon!