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View Full Version : Are you single and not dating or looking?



Mylazycat
01-22-2007, 07:43 PM
If so, what are your reasons for not dating or looking? Cynical? No one around your type? Unusual work schedule?

Is not wanting to date because you don't want to deal with the bullshit and games that comes with it a valid reason not to do so or should one just get the hell over it and get on with the show?

TheManWithoutFear
01-22-2007, 07:45 PM
I always felt that if I can't buy a chick things she might appreciate or am unable to afford a good date then I'm not ready for it.

At least that's the excuse I tell myself when I can't get laid.

The Zevad
01-22-2007, 07:46 PM
I'm me. Nuff said.

Scotty
01-22-2007, 07:46 PM
I ended a ten year relationship and marriage last april and just really not intrested in getting back in the game just yet.

NATE!
01-22-2007, 07:47 PM
Sick of the bullshit.

The Zevad
01-22-2007, 07:48 PM
Sick of the bullshit.

I'll take your bullshit over mine anyday.

Shannon Chenoweth
01-22-2007, 07:49 PM
I'm too busy trying to do things for me. Doing things I want to do so I'm not outright looking for a guy. If someone comes along, so be it. I think people rush so much in life that they don't try to enjoy themselves and their passions enough. Not that you can't do this dating/married, but being single is a great freedom to do anything.

arthurloewenkamp
01-22-2007, 07:50 PM
I'm picky and have a hard time getting over an old ex. Plus weird work schedule and don't feel ready financially. There's about two people in my life who I would make it work for right now, but it probably won't happen.
That's why I'm glad I have a 65'' tv and xbox360

Billie
01-22-2007, 07:54 PM
I'm too busy trying to do things for me. Doing things I want to do so I'm not outright looking for a guy. If someone comes along, so be it. I think people rush so much in life that they don't try to enjoy themselves and their passions enough. Not that you can't do this dating/married, but being single is a great freedom to do anything.

True that.

I'm at the point where I'm really figuring things out for myself such as my career and focusing on finishing school and getting a job.That's my number one priority right now as it should be.

I hate it when people think just because you're single,something's wrong with you.People who go out looking for relationships are the lonely ones,not us.

If something comes along and it feels right,fine.But other than that,I don't make it a priority to go out looking for girls and trying to score.

Masculine Todd
01-22-2007, 07:59 PM
Well:

I'm 19 and am already suffering a divorce...with a woman...despite being gay...even though I eventually fell in love with her romantically, which almost destroyed my sexual identity and my persona altogether.

Oh, and then there was my first gay love, who eventually convinced himself that I was "responsible for turning him into a faggot", decided the only way to redeem himself was to hit me in the face, break a rib, and join the military.

Yeah, and then I started seeing this boy on campus until he cheated on me and told me that "love is not something to be contained within a exclusive two-party union" or some crazy jazz...this is two weeks after he yelled at me for looking at another guy and said to make this work, I had to be exclusive.

I just...I don't know. I'm unprepared for a life full of lies and failed relationships (points if you know the reference).

Humphrey_Lee
01-22-2007, 08:00 PM
Because I have a friend in Jesus....

Magnum V.I.
01-22-2007, 08:00 PM
Because I have a friend in Jesus....

Jesus is just alright with me.....

TonyFleecs
01-22-2007, 08:01 PM
I'm not confident about anything except being able to carry on an engaging conversation. Even that I'm not super confident on.

The Zevad
01-22-2007, 08:02 PM
I hate it when people think just because you're single,something's wrong with you.People who go out looking for relationships are the lonely ones,not us.

You make a good point there. I have a female aquantance. She and her friends seem all obessesed with having boyfriends. "Oh everyone but me has a boyfriend." She would say. And she can't seem to stay single for more than 3 months! She got a boyfriend back in June of 06. She said "Oh I think he's the one. I love him! I think I do." He said he wanted to fuck around and she was okay with it and "respected" he was honest like that with her and they became fuck buddies. That ended. And they broke up in September. Not even by November she was "talking" to some guy. Saying she loved him and he's the one and she doesn't want his baby mama giving him issues. She moved off to Florida. Broke up with the guy and is now banging some guy she knew back in the day who moved to Cape Coral three years back. Explain that! Sheesh!

TheKraken
01-22-2007, 08:02 PM
Combination "never meet anyone"/"want to move soon." I'm not really into short lil' fling relationships and I'd like to move out of state this year, so getting involved would be a bad move, but that's no big deal 'cuz I rarely meet new people anymore.

Humphrey_Lee
01-22-2007, 08:04 PM
Meeting people fucking sucks. Too many games, too many games, too many stupid fucking games.


But I'm not looking right now so HA! FUCK YOU LOOKERS!!! :mad:

TheKraken
01-22-2007, 08:06 PM
Meeting people fucking sucks. Too many games, too many games, too many stupid fucking games.


But I'm not looking right now so HA! FUCK YOU LOOKERS!!! :mad:

Meeting people (any people... new friends, dates, etc) post-college is kind of a challenge if you hate going to bars. That has been my experience in this podunk town, anyhow...

WillieLee
01-22-2007, 08:11 PM
I'm too awesome for one person to handle.

WillieLee
01-22-2007, 08:12 PM
Well:

I'm 19 and am already suffering a divorce...with a woman...despite being gay...even though I eventually fell in love with her romantically, which almost destroyed my sexual identity and my persona altogether.

Oh, and then there was my first gay love, who eventually convinced himself that I was "responsible for turning him into a faggot", decided the only way to redeem himself was to hit me in the face, break a rib, and join the military.

Yeah, and then I started seeing this boy on campus until he cheated on me and told me that "love is not something to be contained within a exclusive two-party union" or some crazy jazz...this is two weeks after he yelled at me for looking at another guy and said to make this work, I had to be exclusive.

I just...I don't know. I'm unprepared for a life full of lies and failed relationships (points if you know the reference).

Wow. No wonder you listen to emo.

Jerome Gibbons
01-22-2007, 08:13 PM
This is going to sound like the most pathetic thing ever, but it's mainly because I just haven't really found someone...you know...that I feel I can connect to. That and I've become extremely cynical and pessimistic when it comes to people during the past two years. So it just makes it that much harder, and I know how unpleasant it can be for other people to be with someone like that. So I try not to reach out to anyone, because no one but me should deal with that kind of crap.

I've been pretty gloomy my whole life, and I've had a habit in the past of hiding that at the beginning of new relationships, and then once things are settled in, I gradually start letting the gloominess out, thereby turning the relationship into a journey of self-hatred and destruction that leaves us both worse than when we started. So, instead of doing that again, I would rather deal with my crap on my own, get it sorted out first, and then see if maybe I can find somebody I can be with without ruining their life. Some days it seems like it will never happen, others I feel more optimistic about it. Even so, I just don't see it happening very soon.

There, that is it. I told you it was going to sound pathetic.

Evan the Shaggy
01-22-2007, 08:16 PM
I'm 24. I feel I'm a little too young to really dive into a full blown relationship (I mean college and high school flings were all right, and messing around is another story). I have a few friends a year younger than me who are getting married and it just seems like they're too young to be doing so, I sure as shit don't think I'm going to be the same person in two or three years.

Hate_Prime
01-22-2007, 08:21 PM
It's a hassle.

Not that there are actually women tripping over themselves trying to get to me. But you know what I mean.

Dwight L. MacPherson
01-22-2007, 08:24 PM
I've been divorce for almost three years now after a 10-year marriage.
I'm a single father of three children, full-time college student, writer and editor. I honestly don't have time for a relationship right now.
Someday... perhaps.

Gunter
01-22-2007, 08:24 PM
Just got out of a relationship in October that was less than healthy.

I've dated a few times since then, had a few good times, but to be honest I just don't feel like giving the effort for the chase, or the games that go along with it.

Taki Soma
01-22-2007, 08:25 PM
If so, what are your reasons for not dating or looking? Cynical? No one around your type? Unusual work schedule?

Is not wanting to date because you don't want to deal with the bullshit and games that comes with it a valid reason not to do so or should one just get the hell over it and get on with the show?

me. all of the above but most mainly because I am in love with doing art and don't want to give up the time for someone else AND there's no one my type anyway.

TonyFleecs
01-22-2007, 08:30 PM
Meeting people (any people... new friends, dates, etc) post-college is kind of a challenge if you hate going to bars. That has been my experience in this podunk town, anyhow...
What's there to do in podunk towns BESIDES going to bars?

Gunter
01-22-2007, 08:31 PM
What's there to do in podunk towns BESIDES going to bars?

Wal-Mart.

The economic and social center of any podunk town.

Jonny Z
01-22-2007, 08:33 PM
yeah. i'm just way too ugly.

Billie
01-22-2007, 08:34 PM
You make a good point there. I have a female aquantance. She and her friends seem all obessesed with having boyfriends. "Oh everyone but me has a boyfriend." She would say. And she can't seem to stay single for more than 3 months! She got a boyfriend back in June of 06. She said "Oh I think he's the one. I love him! I think I do." He said he wanted to fuck around and she was okay with it and "respected" he was honest like that with her and they became fuck buddies. That ended. And they broke up in September. Not even by November she was "talking" to some guy. Saying she loved him and he's the one and she doesn't want his baby mama giving him issues. She moved off to Florida. Broke up with the guy and is now banging some guy she knew back in the day who moved to Cape Coral three years back. Explain that! Sheesh!

Fuck man,I know tonnes of people like this.

It's like they HAVE to be in a relationship all the time.

Boris the Blade
01-22-2007, 08:35 PM
Kind of tired of the game. If they come, they come.

Ethan Van Sciver
01-22-2007, 08:38 PM
I've got 5 women in various states of decomposition handcuffed to my bedrails now, so no, I'm not looking right now. Later, like in a few more months.

Jerome Gibbons
01-22-2007, 08:39 PM
I've got 5 women in various states of decomposition handcuffed to my bedrails now, so no, I'm not looking right now. Later, like in a few more months.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/ba/Silencelamp7.jpg/180px-Silencelamp7.jpg

Ethan Van Sciver
01-22-2007, 08:40 PM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/ba/Silencelamp7.jpg/180px-Silencelamp7.jpg

I'd fuck me so hard.

The Zevad
01-22-2007, 08:40 PM
Fuck man,I know tonnes of people like this.

It's like they HAVE to be in a relationship all the time.

I know. It's like they are afraid of being alone. That they can't stand themselves. Okay look I fucking have the worse luck with women but that's my own fault. I have bad taste. But I don't feel the overwhelming need, I don't fee like I HAVE TO A GIRLFRIEND. I can't be alone! Wha-wha. Yeah sure I feel lonely. Who doesn't but not to the extreme these individuals do. Like you said "It's like they HAVE to be in a relationship all the time." Maybe it's because they don't like themselves when they are not in a relationship. Maybe they just don't want to spend time with theirs and by investing in a relationship they can lose themselves in it and not have to go within themselves but go into someone else. Hmmm. Yeah probably.

TonyFleecs
01-22-2007, 08:41 PM
Wal-Mart.

The economic and social center of any podunk town.That's for after the bar. No better place to make foolish DVD & electronic purchases at 2am.

WillieLee
01-22-2007, 08:41 PM
I've got 5 women in various states of decomposition handcuffed to my bedrails now, so no, I'm not looking right now. Later, like in a few more months.

Only five? Time to pick up the pace.

http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showthread.php?t=100814

Ethan Van Sciver
01-22-2007, 08:42 PM
That's for after the bar. No better place to make foolish DVD & electronic purchases at 2am.

Dude, me too. Tuesday morning at 3 am, I'm at WALMART buying DVDs. I wander around and shiver like a busted junkie, and I make small talk with the fat cashier.

The Human Target
01-22-2007, 08:48 PM
Well:

I'm 19 and am already suffering a divorce...with a woman...despite being gay...even though I eventually fell in love with her romantically, which almost destroyed my sexual identity and my persona altogether.

Oh, and then there was my first gay love, who eventually convinced himself that I was "responsible for turning him into a faggot", decided the only way to redeem himself was to hit me in the face, break a rib, and join the military.

Yeah, and then I started seeing this boy on campus until he cheated on me and told me that "love is not something to be contained within a exclusive two-party union" or some crazy jazz...this is two weeks after he yelled at me for looking at another guy and said to make this work, I had to be exclusive.

I just...I don't know. I'm unprepared for a life full of lies and failed relationships (points if you know the reference).

Dude, you so win at getting to be sorry for yourself. Sheesh, that sucks.:sad:

As to the main topic, yes I am single and not looking.

Because A) I've become fairly anti-social.

B) I'm overweight, sickly, I have no job, am no longer in college, and I'm just in no way shape or form ready to be in a relationship with someone. I'm barely capable of being friends with my friends, as it is.

C) I'm picky. Especially for a nerd.

c. page
01-22-2007, 09:48 PM
i need to get my own shit together before i worry about anyone else. i'm turning the right person down, if they show up, but i'm not actively looking first. i have way too much shit i need to take care of before i worry about going out and meeting someone.

TonyFleecs
01-22-2007, 09:52 PM
Dude, me too. Tuesday morning at 3 am, I'm at WALMART buying DVDs. I wander around and shiver like a busted junkie, and I make small talk with the fat cashier.That's how I ended up with Bonfire of the Vanaties.... I figured, "DePalma! $5!There's gotta be something there to like". :no:

Masculine Todd
01-22-2007, 09:54 PM
Dude, you so win at getting to be sorry for yourself. Sheesh, that sucks.:sad:


Yeah, so when I get the normal "wah, wah, emo" junk, just remember, my stupid, teen agnsty lyrics have validity, bitches!

Ethan Van Sciver
01-22-2007, 09:55 PM
That's how I ended up with Bonfire of the Vanaties.... I figured, "DePalma! $5!There's gotta be something there to like". :no:

I bought a three pack of "SUSPENSE THRILLERS!" for 12 dollars. It had Kiss The Girls and shit like that. Strictly for squares.

/(. . )/
01-23-2007, 12:33 AM
I've dated several girls last year, but I hurt them all.

I didn't want to, it's just that I changed.

I get lots of attention from women and asked out frequently. But I want to stay single until I find someone I feel comfortable and happy with for something very serious.

Vroom_Socko
01-23-2007, 12:56 AM
Well, I'm about 300 pounds of ugly and I've been rejected by every woman I've asked out and/or been interested in. Just not bothering with all of that nonsense saves time and effort.

Lyfeforce
01-23-2007, 03:13 AM
I'm taking a break from dating/looking so I can figure some of my b.s. out.

if someone should come along, then great. Otherwise, I got enough to worry about with my own crazy.

amy
01-23-2007, 04:16 AM
I'm single and not looking. I've got too much going on with two full time jobs and other stuff. I'm too independent at this point and have a goal to move out of this god forsaken state and don't want to get distracted from that.

I've been married and have had some really great long term relationships so I don't feel pressured to find "Mr. Right."

When the time is right I'll be ready but until then I won't be in a relationship that I can't make a priority.

bairdduvessa
01-23-2007, 04:17 AM
not worth the mental troubles

SteveZegers
01-23-2007, 04:35 AM
Not really been looking for the past few months. Got really discouraged.

Brian Defferding
01-23-2007, 05:15 AM
After going through a few relationships, I've concluded relationships are not for me. I'm really happy where I'm at; won't sacrifice it for anyone. Casual sex is all I need. With spanking. And ear nibbling. Some dirty talking. MMmmmmaaybe some slap fighting. Hmmmmm...

Hindsight 20/20, I didn't enjoy being in love, but I love the freedom of being single. Will that change in the future? I don't know. I can't predict the future. But right now, being single is wonderful.

Ryudo
01-23-2007, 05:51 AM
I'm single and sort of looking.

Those of you familiar with my situation know that I have my sights set on one person in particular, who I will talk to at some point as soon as both our schedules calm down and we can get together. But that too may be a shot in the dark.

I came off a relationship where the chick ripped my heart out, stomped on it, slowly started putting it back together by telling me there "might still be a chance," and then ripped it out and stomped on it again. It was shit and I'm still bitter about what she did, even though my complete disdain for her actions has caused me to not be interested in her romantically at all anymore.

So I'm single, and while I'm not actively looking, it wouldn't suck to be a part of a relationship with the right person. I don't have the time to "go out" right now, but fortunately I work at a place where I can be kind of social.

Taki Soma
01-23-2007, 05:51 AM
After going through a few relationships, I've concluded relationships are not for me. I'm really happy where I'm at; won't sacrifice it for anyone. Casual sex is all I need. With spanking. And ear nibbling. Some dirty talking. MMmmmmaaybe some slap fighting. Hmmmmm...

Hindsight 20/20, I didn't enjoy being in love, but I love the freedom of being single. Will that change in the future? I don't know. I can't predict the future. But right now, being single is wonderful.

being single IS wonderful. I love the freedom.

stevapalooza
01-23-2007, 09:25 AM
I'm one of those weird people who actually likes being alone. Not all the time like a psychopath, but there are definitely times where I'd rather not be bothered with anyone. And in a relationship you don't really have the luxury of alone time. You have to share your time with someone else. And i'm just too much of a selfish prick to do that long term. I can do it short term, but eventually I start missing my me time and resenting the person who is taking it away.

d.j.
01-23-2007, 09:31 AM
It's like this: I'm still getting over a relationship. Everyone suggests, to do this, I must get "out there" and meet other women. But I'm getting over a woman! If a tiger bit off my arm, NO ONE would suggest I go to the tiger exhibit at the zoo to get over it, would they?

That being said, I wish I was the type of guy women approached. Then I might be dating. Just can't bring myself to do the asking or wooing or whatever at this point and for the, unfortunately (for me, lucky for the ladies), forseeable future.

All of that being said, I don't particularly mind being a lone, either. Sometimes I dig it.

RegularJoe
01-23-2007, 09:36 AM
couple of reasons:
1 - my schedule sucks. i'm so busy, i hardly have time for all the stuff i already do, much less do a relationship right.
2 - i still live at home. not exactly a suave thing for a almost-27-year-old to say 'hey baby, wanna go back to my parents house?'
3 - i'm a giant pussy when it comes to approaching women.

TheKraken
01-23-2007, 09:37 AM
What's there to do in podunk towns BESIDES going to bars?

Hang out at friends' houses... that finite friends group in which there exist no prospects for dating... :D Around here, bars are for people who want to breathe second hand smoke and listen to the worst cover bands in the world... I am a non-smoker and a music snob...